Communicating To Parent's Doctors (usa)

OP, here where I am while leaving the vm, it says a nurse will call back within 2 hours. If there is no promised time line, I would say in your voice msg, first thing clearly say, you would need an immediate / ASAP response, since your father's action is based on her advice. If you still don't hear back in a day 24 hours, then call back. It's ok to follow up when it's something urgent / you could make a mistake if you don't hear back from them. Make sure you explain your situation well, so you don't seem pushy. Also, I think dressing is not important, but how you conduct yourself there is. Dress like everyone (visitors, I mean blend in). No need to dress specially.

Good luck!

 

Medical professionals are notoriously bad about this sort of thing in the US (gee I wish my family had moved to Canada instead of the US!), because it is All About the Billing, and they don't get to bill for phone advice.

Can you go to his appointments with him? I used to take my dad to his appointments when he got sick and had to move in with me. That way you hear directly from the doctor and can translate back and forth between them on the spot.

 

Can you use Mychart to send a message and get a quicker response? Whenever I called a nurse practitioner or doctor on call, I always got a phone call within an hour..may be because a desperate new mom calling and gets immediate attention.
Dress doesn't make one important..IMHO. Dress like you would for office but don't expect people to serve you right away because "you look important"

 

OP, a lot depends on how the care is structured at the hospital you visit. Is there a nurse practitioner assigned to your father's care? Or is it a different person each time? The former situation is easier.

Your goal, for your own care and for that of your loved ones, should be to establish a relationship of trust with the medical staff. The American system is broken. Highly trained physicians, nurse-practitioners, nurses and technical staff are all under pressure from the business managers. I receive stupid questionnaires asking me to "rate the quality of care you received" from physicians I have consulted - the one I am thinking of is a world-class expert in her field! Evaluation of such people cannot be automated. Their expertise is something intangible. The doofus who designed the questionnaire is probably not fit to lick her boots. And yet, it continues under the guise of "Quality of Care". The people designing such systems don't appreciate that I would cheerfully wait an extra half-hour to be seen by such an expert, and questions such as "Did your doctor see you in 30 minutes?" are meaningless.

Anyway, the point of that harangue was to say that staff at the point-of-care are overworked and loaded with administrative bs. They also face other annoyances such as patients lobbying them for opioids under this excuse or that. So keeping that in mind, make a little effort to convey that you appreciate the pressures they are under even as you appear to be adding to their workload with your queries!

My strategy is, as @nuss suggests, to use the internal e-mail system (like myChart) or whatever system your hospital uses, to send a "Non-urgent Medical Question". When I do that, I close with something like this: "I understand that I am not your only patient and that you may be rather busy. When I ask these questions, I am trying to act thoughtfully, taking responsibility for my health and medical care. Learning as much as possible about the details of my condition and the treatment options available, function as a coping mechanism for me. It helps me to approach healthcare choices with care and deliberation. I do appreciate your expertise and take your recommendations very seriously in making decisions. I hope I am addressing my request in a way that helps you see that. I remain grateful for your help and advice." - (modify appropriately). After that, I am not at all shy about quizzing my physicians about the evidence and stats for various options.

What this kind of communication achieves is to convey to your physician or nurse that you are not some half-baked flake who is intent on second-guessing them after looking something up on the web. If you are dealing with the same person each time (your PCP, nurse-practitioner, whoever), then it gives them a frame of reference for the relationship. Take every opportunity to project an image of a thoughtful and engaged patient, as opposed to a difficult person intent on adding to their burdens. They will respect you for it and be more inclined to help you.

Good Luck!

 

Moved to relationships forum..or shd it be gabfest..not sure.. still moved it there..

Wow! Is this reply a defense of the profession in disguise coming from an insider?

Are we implying that the expert doctor can exempt themselves from professionalism & punctuality merely on grounds of his expertise & superior knowledge? Also , are we implying the person designing the questionnaire is inferior in position to the so called world class, expert doctor? Wow, lick the boots really??

 

Moved to "chatter".