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Choice(s)

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Afresh, May 7, 2019.

  1. Afresh

    Afresh Gold IL'ite

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    Wow, you have a family Blog! awesome! Am sure its worth every read if you ever decide to delight Ilites with the contents :)

    Exactly; With all your responses, one senses a very confident individual and that's what everyone is trying to build into their life. Once you get there, then there is really no looking back at 'What Ifs" ; that is really inspiring there with you :)


    Bingo! This was on my mind too :).
    Also ,in case of my negative utterings which i may like to reverse:grin:
    That one decision has lots of branches attached to my other life decisions, so it does come up always. It's the same with the others too!
    You very smartly are thinking right and know what I am talking about !
    That's what prompted me to write this snippet :grinning::icon_writing:
     
  2. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    isn't this "the devil* you know vs. some angel with promises" scheme ? Most of us with the experience of the overall positive (difference between before and after) might go this route, because this is still a choice that can be tweaked if given a second chance at it.
    This sort of "should've, could've, must've " regret is so common in investments. I've learnt that decision rule Rihana points out (do it with the available information, and move on), and although small internal pings come up, I put up a good front and move on. I also recognize that I'd been very lucky in many ways, and ended up facing choices that were all good enough to choose using the failproof method of eenie-meenie-mainie-Moh.

    Besides the multiple choice problems that Jayasala42 wrote about on this thread, recently I read a @jayasala42 story on the two investment options, i.e., bridegroom candidates, that were offered to a 29 year old girl. One is bluechip, stable-job holding nationalized bank officer, and the other one, a multi-flunked C.A. candidate, with no current job.

    After girl-dekko's and negotiations, the bride's side felt in their guts that the stable-job guy's family was not as enthused about the alliance as the CA-flunked, jobless one's. J42 tells us that the girl went with her gut feelings, and married the CA-flunky. Bankwala went on and married another -- and I have no idea how Jayasala42 does:kissingheart: these longitudinal anthropological studies --, and a few years down the road, CA guy (perhaps happy with all the full time attentions paid to him) clears his exam arrears, gets employed in the same local town, and everything turns hunky dory pink in their lives. In contrast, the Bankwala, although marries a much better-employed girl, his job/promotion takes him to far away parts of the nation, and the wifey wouldn't quit her job to do her wifely duties by him. They broke up, and ended in separation and much more. And the parable ends with a recommend for going with the gut feeling in all decisions.

    When You Come to a Fork in the Road, Take It
    ---who else, Yogi Berra !
     
    Last edited: May 7, 2019
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  3. Afresh

    Afresh Gold IL'ite

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    yes here, in case of investments, one can get to see the tangible difference one would have made/missed if we had taken another route. So , this ,regret is somewhat quantifiable in that case.
    :) and also, how she writes those quick responses peppered with anecdotes on immediate recall!! totally :worship2:

    [
    That's the recommended thing always! But the thing is whether the gut is always right? as also we were discussing in @Thyagarajan Sir's snippet Son , Spouse & Rage Of Diesel!
     
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  4. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    @Afresh,

    One thing I know is every choice we have in front of us is neither black nor white but most of the time they are grey. It is hard to figure out what direction is right. Once we make a choice and go down that path, there is no coming back and only thing we can do is damage control. Sitting down and thinking about what went wrong helps create a strong impression in the subconscious mind for future guidance.

    If you are the King of King and is invited and honored to play a game of dice (which you enjoy playing) by who you consider as your own kith and kin, what choices you would have? It was Dharma sankat for Dharma himself. If he said "no", it is disrespectful to his extended family and if he said "yes", there is a chance he would lose the kingdom. It was a life-altering decision for him which he regretted his entire life. Sometimes, it is the destiny that makes the decision for us. Free will and discrimination have a role to play but when it comes to the common good for the world, destiny takes over.
     
    Last edited: May 7, 2019
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  5. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:With present knowledge and experience if I were offered an opportunity to go back to those decisive moments when choices were offered.....AND BEGIN LIFE AFRESH........OMG

    1. Parents short listed two - one bank employed bit short. Another equally tall. Musician Veena player by profession. Both graduates. Former local - other Interior south India. Both Good family background and lineage. I planned and seen the bank girl first. Dad wanted to see the other one and then decide. I said nothing doing.
    2. Later I found musician married off before my wedding took place and attended my wedding with her young handsome husband. Mind was brooding brooding for long. If only I had listened to dad....

    But after several decades, I heard she is no more.......oh my...

    3. Four choices came my way in 1964.
    A - a seat in madras university to pursue M Sc ? Madras.
    B - an appointment letter for an executive position in PSU bank at away from Madras.
    C - recruited as trainee scientist in BABA ATOMIC RESEARCH CENTRE at Bombay.
    D- admission to engineering in MIT (stiff competition) Chennai.

    4. My mother is not a graduate nor dad. Dad was publicity manger with salary just to eke out living. Spinster Sister entered college

    5. After lot of deliberation, none could come to decision. Dad decided to discuss with my cousin brother who did M Sc honours in maths. He was running a press and bringing out monthly magazines about industry . Dad wanted I should become engineer.
    Mother wanted me to join Bank. Sister wanted me to join BARC AS SHE WAS AWARE HOW MUCH I LOVE ATOMIC PHYSICS.
    6. As a boy, having seen cashiers (tellers) in bank handling bundles of currency notes, I was eager to make money and wanted only money.
    But my cousin brother exposed to engineering industry and my interest in studies, decided that I should do the MIT. That means for next three years all will have to tighten belts further cut corners no acquiring comforts etc.

    7. I compared my status after five years.
    With choice A, I would have become a professor in a remote village or city with simple living with high thinking probably.
    With B, I would have got promotion good salary in rural plus urban postings as faced by my class mate in B Sc.
    With C - I would have settled in a fantastic location behind hills and close to Arabian sea with few hundreds working under me
    With D - I was just an Engineer with varying experience involving tour meeting hobnobbing independent so on so forth.

    8. But after fifteen years, the status would have been different. In bank, I would have reached the helm as my friend cum class mate in school did with handsome pension.
    With professorship, I would have become just head of department.

    9. As a scientist, I must have limited exposure to friends but would have offered frequent visit to nuclear Nations officially.
    10. But overall when I look back, at the back of my mind, I thank my dad’s vision and his approach to my cousin for selecting the best of 4 choices.
    My cousin 86 is still managing the press writing for his magazines and helping me often with choices.
    No regrets.
    Revisit to old Choices for vicarious experience did good to my heart!
    Thanks and Regards.
    God offers choices to villains (demons).
     
  6. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    Last edited: May 7, 2019
  7. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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  8. shyamala1234

    shyamala1234 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Afresh,
    If by the choice that we made some years back we are happy and contented then we feel we made a good choice. If not... should have considered other choices and mind plays see saw. Quite many try to make themselves with what they have in hand. It is the attitude that plays the role.
    Syamala
     
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  9. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:Thank you . You had me delighted with video of MIT.
    2. I had no idea of these in u tube . Though I get regular update and invite for meet, get together and symposia .
    3. It is very thoughtful of you to have it here in IL.
    4. I remember sometime back you had mentioned your brother studied in MIT IN 1968 -71.
    Regards.
     
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  10. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello: If it has been destined things will have to go as per that and the circumstances and the cosmic forces play their role around it. If it is destined the person will naturally select the choice to go with the destiny. One might take precaution.
    Thanks and Regards.
    God is in roll of dice.
     
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