Children Of Single Parents.

@madras2018 ,
very well narrated.Longevity being a matter of uncertainty, it is a problem with single parents.Joint family system having vanished,the problem is all the more sever f something unfortunate happens to the single parent.
jayasala 42

 

I agree with OJ.....that kid's future will be definitely affected, how the father is going to answer when kid asks for mother....No mother at all???? What kind of questions & issues that kid has to face from other kids / friends.

If Tushar Kapoor doesn't want to get married, then why can't he adopt a kid from an orphanage. Why can't he take Susmita Sen & Raveena Tandon as inspiration. I agree science and technology is developing a lot, but some people are taking disadvantage of this. In case of Shah Rukh Khan, he already have two kids, why he need the 3rd one, that too with surrogacy? SRK want a third kid just because his other 2 kids are grown up and he need a baby to play with? Baby is not a toy. India is already over populated, so there is no need to produce a third child.

I think Govt. should interfere and should make strict laws and should draw some strict criteria. Surrogacy should be in favor of couples who really has some health issues and cannot have baby on their own.

 

@joylokhi

To be really honest, when I was told that its SRK and his spouse about the surrogacy, I didn’t have any concern. As both mother and the father figure would be there to give the safety net of family.

However when I read that Tushar Kapoor (a male who is planning a child through surrogacy). I did think about this topic quite a bit. I strongly hold that even if it is a single male parent who is providing a happy/ positive environment- I think the child should be good.

I am surprised about myself, just because it’s a male who is having a child- I did question if he is going to be handle and care for the baby. I am such a hypocrite because, like most, I doubted if a man is capable of providing this safety net.

But the more I thought about this- the more convinced I was that YES- even a male is capable of providing care/ love/ raising a child in a positive, happy, drama-less environment. If that’s what he chooses.

Yes, the child may wonder about his mother- why wouldn’t Tushar Kapoor be honest and say that “ I chose the surrogacy path- because I just wanted you (child) and not a wife”. Because TK is mentally ready for a child doesn’t mean he has to find a wife (who has to be ready to bear him a child).

There are tons and tons of examples of stay at home dads, who rock the role of caring for their babies. Paternity leave is given for men in California (I don’t know about other states). This openness in society is what makes it possible for men to express their feeling/ love /care for their children.

My own mother is a career-oriented women my sibling and I grew up with our grandparents for the longest time. Sometimes, I wonder that Indian’s feel obligated due to societal pressure to fulfill certain responsibility even if they aren’t ready to accept the responsibility. Breaking these societal pressure/ rules- may lead to something better.

 

@kcb- My 2 cents- After all this topic is about a male going through surrogacy to be a father and he is in the 1% class, where they set the rules and break the rules. Do you actually think that other kids will wonder why TK's kid doesnt have a mother? Most of the children in that 1% class are let to do anything and everything at a very young age. I highly doubt that other kids wondering or being accepted in schools will be a problem.

Isnt it TK's choice to decide what he can or can't do... I am all for helping an orphan child. But is he compelled to adopt..?? I don't think so. It would be great if he did...

Oh common now- We live in a democratic country- Its not like China where there is ban on how many children we need to have. I have crazy many aunts ( in my family) One of my aunts- after having 2 kids- really likes having more (her husband is not ready to go through with another pregnancy or having another child) She went gaga on my baby and every time I talk to her.. all she talks about is how she wants to have one more.

I think this is a great subject for another topic discussion...

 

@blindup,,,,I expressed my point of view in response to OP's post as others did. IMO kids are innocent souls, they will have lot of questions in their mind and there is a chance that the kid may feel the absence of his mother when he sees his friends mothers. It is not easy for a kid how much ever the father gives him the reasons.

No one is compelling TK to adopt, its just a suggestion / thought.

So we need not bother about India's growing population and its consequences? Do we need to wait till such ban comes in India also (like China). So everyone can produce as many kids as they want. Then what will be India's future after few years? God save India.

Anyways it's TK's life and let him do whatever he wants to.

 

@kcb-
I agree... who knows what the child may go through..and questions/ emotions that he might face.I am sure the child will miss out on mother's love, care and how knows the child may never know what to expect of a mother ( all other complexities) it may build because lack of mother's care. It's definitely going to be hard.

Am going to quote "nobody dies a virgin.. life F***s us all" Kurt Cobain
Be it planned and born into the world/ surrogacy/ parents later divorced or widowed.
Hope the child finds the meaning of life and is happy.

 

Dear Joylokhi,
Ideal situation......parents (both father and mother) bringing up their natural born children in wedlock in a very natural way.
Single parent can be defined in many ways...either losing a spouse, divorced or adopting an orphan baby or by any artificial means...surrogate or in any other way (in modern times science has evolved so many methods). It is the choice of the the persons involved. We cannot say one is method is right or another is wrong.
Kids fate in society......it is not alarming. If one has to take into consideration the role of society in can interfere in our lives in many ways. Not only parenthood but many of the actions or decisions one makes in the course of life. Aren't the kids of separated or divorced parents asked......a few days back you had a different mom or dad but how come you have a new dad? But I don't think in schools kids are interested in these things. It happens only in films and fiction.They play, study, take part in many activities. Their hearts are good.Love of the parent is the only ingredient that is needed (any kind of parent, not only natural).
So, the bottom line is individual choice. We should respect the choice. No generalization.
Syamala