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Child Clingy To Her Friend.

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by paru123, Oct 3, 2019.

  1. paru123

    paru123 Silver IL'ite

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    He is 5.5 years old weighs around 23.24 kg whereas my kid is 14kg. This boy has been with her right from her nursery school and then the regular school, so she knows him more than the other kids.

    He is called a naughty boy by most of the people, who are not directly affected by his naughtiness. In the whole group he only tells it to my daughter and not anyone else.
     
    Rihana likes this.
  2. SGBV

    SGBV Finest Post Winner

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    Dear @paru123

    As long as I understand your pain, I don't see any issues with that boy child or his mother's behavior here.
    The boy is being a child, and his mother is taking naturally. There is nothing about jealousy or bullying or bad behavior as far as these kids are concerned. They are being normal, and I could remember so many instances from my childhood and that of my children's in line with these matters.

    Calling a child katti, and making her cry are all part of childhood. Nothing serious.

    But your child's reaction to all these small small matters, and you being over protective of your child is somewhat abnormal here.

    It will definitely take sometimes for young kids to adapt and make new friends. But it won't take them this long.
    Kids don't need our assistance to make new friendships.
    If your child is shy, has issues with attention, and has been struggling to make friends then that is a problem. It indicates some lacking in her social skills.

    She being clingy to one friend, and expect him everywhere makes her a dependent.
    She being hurt for his remarks makes her vulnerable before him. You need to act before she turns out to be an emotionally very fragile & vulnerable adult some day.

    Being emotionally too vulnerable is her problem that you need to attend immediately. Because no parents would want other kids' emotional outbreak affect their own kids in anyways.
    It is not jealousy, it is a strategy to avoid unwanted drama and heart ache for their kids.
     
  3. paru123

    paru123 Silver IL'ite

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    Yes. This is my fear. I dont want her to be an emotionally vulnerable fragile adult some day. The boy is out of station for 2 daya and i could see my child interacting, playing and getting on so well with other kids. As i said earlier he is like a magnet. Would have to reduce the instance of seeing him to reduce the dependency on him.
     
  4. SGBV

    SGBV Finest Post Winner

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    Fault is not the boy's. It is your child's fault to have got attracted to that boy way too much. That's what makes her a complete dependent now.
    Since she is a child, I would blame you or any other care taker in this case. Because, the child's dependency must have been noticed and addressed then and there.
    It is not too late even now. Act immediately!
     
  5. paru123

    paru123 Silver IL'ite

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    It is my childs problem. The boys mother has told me that the boy is bullied by his brother at home and I feel he takes it out on(in a different way) a weaker available child outside the home.
    The dependency is hard to reduce as the boy is always seen whenever we step outside. Shifting house is not possible. Will have to enroll her in extracurricular classes or reduce/stop her playing in the ground.
     
  6. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Op... If some child was constantly bullying or targetting my child, I would publicly tell him to stop bullying a smaller child in front of everyone in a firm voice.

    I would also not feel bad about telling my child that the bully is a bad child and ask my child to stay away from the bully.

    Once or twice is acceptable but constant bullying and encouraging others to target a child is way out of line .

    We are responsible for our child first and the bully is the responsibility of his parents.

    I would not hesitate in asking the mother to stop her child from bullying kids.If the older brother is bullying him,that is not your problem,that is something the parents need to look into .

    Protect your child if it is constant bullying.
    Ask her to stay away from the bully.
    Encourage her to make friends who like being with her.
     
    paru123 likes this.
  7. paru123

    paru123 Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks a lot for the above. This is what I should do next time it happens. I feel guilty, that i didnt act earlier and be stern with the boy and protect my daughter, thinking it was silly to interfere in childrens matters.
     
  8. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    If he starts the katti act and encourages others, just look him in the eyes and firmly ask him to stop bullying.
    Try to use a firm focused voice instead of getting emotional .
    Keep it short and to the point.
    Don't drag it .
    The idea is not to scold him but to let him know you have your daughter's back.
    Smile at the other kids so that they don't feel as a part of his team.
     
    hermitcrab and paru123 like this.
  9. hermitcrab

    hermitcrab Gold IL'ite

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    The boy was bullying during Devi aarti, katti thing.
    Bullying behavior starts early and usually bullies have better EQ and know people better. I would say ignore this boy and his mother both, children are reflection of parents.
    Don't waste time on a boy, try to find friends who are girls. Don't sweat too much but keep working on the issue. When you have a second child, many things will fall into place.
     

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