Cheeniya And His Alter Ego

Lizzy: Hill-o! Anoowun arind?
Alt-Ira: She is back!
Alt-Cheeniya: On that ‘she’, there's confusion. Cheeniya was asking ..

(the door opens)

Lizzie: Good evening, everyone! Is everyone copacetic?
Lizzy: Woot plustic?
Lizzie: No, no, ‘copacetic’ means fine, as in, okay.
Alt-Ira: Who are you?
Lizzie: I am the male variant of the lizard.
Alt-Cheeniya: I have seen it all now! There are two lizards.
Lizzie: whataboutery?
Alt-Ira: What water bottle?
Lizzie: No, no, I mean “whataboutery” here. To avoid the confusion inherent in cis-names used by both genders like “Leslie”, Ira has created distinctly “Lizzie” (male) and "Lizzy" (female). How supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Alt-Cheeniya: One lizard is verbal antoona, and the other is verbal anathema! Could she not have created a normal lizard.
Alt-Ira: That is so Ira-ish. She will never settle for bland lizards. Even her lizards should have quirky personalities.

 

Ira: Scoot! Scoot! Make way for my next portrait.
Alt-Ira: What is that?
Ira: A flying lizard!
Alt-Cheeniya: Dare I ask how is it flying?
Ira: You see that flower, that propulsion, well, the excitement of the lizard carrying three pennants itself fuels his journey. Take this to Cheeniya
Alt-Cheeniya: He might ask why three pennants.
Ira: Who knows! May be he is using them as sails. Why do you ask so many questions.
Alt-Cheeniya: Well, lizards fly with their webbed feet, Cheeniya would expect a naturally flying lizard to this maverick flying lizard.
Ira: May be this lizard is lazy, so he built a make-shift craft to fly. May be this lizard is afraid of heights so flying with support.
Alt-Cheeniya: Cheeniya might wonder if this lizard is foolish to be flying with an unsafe contraption.
Ira: Cheeniya said

Flying must be done and he is doing it with fun.

Alt-Ira: Take the portrait before the zeppelin runs out of fuel and nosedives.
Ira: Wait, I changed my mind.
Alt-Cheeniya: Thank God.
Ira: Instead of "Flying Lizard", I shall title it "Flying with Fun Lizard". Now take it to Cheeniya.

 

NDTV Report: Unidentified Flying Object noted by many in Chennai Metropolitan area. Our reporters are working hard to find more information.

TTV Dinakaran: The present government has sent a surveillance satellite to track the activities of Chinnamma during her visit to Chennai

CM of Tamilnadu: We have nothing to do with either the UFO or Chinnamma. However, we will appoint an inquiry commission

M.K. Stalin: Until this government is removed, this kind of mysterious UFOs will continue to appear as this government is incompetent to investigate

K. Veeramani: Modi's government is responsible for this surveillance to track the activities of Tamilnadu political parties

Viswa: This is an indication of the beginning of golden age.

Smt. Jayasala: We need to be practical and it could be a military plane flying low over Chennai Metropolitan area. It is probably the smoke emitted by the plane that is described as beard by many who cited the UFO

Hariji: I know it was Cheeniya Sir attempting to do what I do everyday

Iravati: Lizzy is a great motivator and had I not known the attempt by Cheeniya Sir, I would have named the new found lizard as Numal or Glashho or Kajaz my favorite SciFi alien names.

Cheeniya Sir: Enough is enough. I am not attempting it anymore.

Viswa

 

Numal: Do you know that flying craft that looks like an erupted saucer? Were we not supposed to hover above Chennai today. We had an NDTV scaremonger slot booked. Can you broadcast on all frequencies and ask them to identify themselves

Glashho: Captain, I did that.

Numal: What did you hear?

Glashho: thclick, thclick thclick.

Numal: Is that thclicking of tongue?

Kajaz: Captain Numal, we should visit another planet. These Earthlings are weird. I am afraid of them. I heard that Pluto is lot saner. They have stopped calling it a planet because it is much better than this planet inhabited by strange flying creatures.

Numal: Broadcast the message again. Tell them we are no threat. We only intended to enjoy the scenic Marina Beach that Cheeniya and Iravati have talked so much about and not invade Chennai.

Glashho: Same, thclick, thclick thclick.

Kajaz: Chennai politics is bizzare. Their politicians are whimsical. We may not be able to broker diplomatic relationship or secure planetary visas to explore Marina Beach. Let's return. I am scared of that maverick aviator. I heard that nearby Kerala is God's own country. We might get visas quicker with God than crotchety politicians and also Cheeniya mentioned that Malayalam movies are the best.

Numal: Ok, let's return. This planet is already terrified by strange flying creatures. We 'real' aliens in UFOs might look silly to them.

 

@Iravati,

Jeeze! You are very creative to insert the painting you have made along with the flying saucer above the railroad terminal in Chennai. What a stunning painting!

So, the saucer is now heading towards the coconut trees in the God's own country. Ask captain Numal to hover around the two beautiful places and watch the stunning Kovalam beach in Trivandrum and Bolgatty Palace in Cochin.



Viswa

 

@Viswamitra,

At an early age, I was diagnosed as being impulsively creative. It means I will think of hundred things in thousand different ways in a minute and explode in flames and confusion. People predicted that I will go places with such damaged brain. I have not been able to put one good use of such impulsively creative talent, not crossed any frontiers, and the brain has since then never been fixed. Finally, I see a purpose of this non-functioning brain to strive for honouring those flying lizards.

 

Alt-Sri: Where is she?
Alt-Ira: She is stoked!
Alt-Sri: Stoked?
Alt-Ira: Ye, that yuppie word she uses when she is over-excited about something.
Alt-Sri: What is she excited about now?
Alt-Ira: Her smoothie blender!
Alt-Sri: No sketches?
Alt-Ira: Nah, only smoothies, she has been stoked with smoothies. She bought a smoothie blender last week.
Alt-Sri: Why smoothie?
Alt-Ira: She thinks she needs tremendous strength and bit of anti-oxidants and nutrients to catch up with QPQ posts — from chocolate to soaps to gold to coconut.
Alt-Sri: Is that pumpkin soup for Halloween?
Alt-Ira: That is carrot and orange smoothie. And then carrot and orange and almond and chia shake!
Alt-Sri: That's a lot of booster for QPQ posts. She might as well have settled for pumpkin soup when both look alike. Why is she serving them in glass bowls like desserts?
Alt-Ira: You mean apart from her being weird, she is inspecting and titrating the colour and texture.
Alt-Ira: She stocked her kitchen with all kinds of seeds and nuts and fruits.
Alt-Sri: You mean a smoothie a day instead of a sketch a day.
Alt-Ira: Righto!
Alt-Sri: I shall alert Cheeniya.
Alt-Ira: You better. Earlier it was bizarre sketches now terrifying smoothies. Cheeniya better brace a pumpkin for this Halloween to withstand such terrifying smoothies.