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Cheated and married on ly for money

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by swapnapriya019, Dec 23, 2011.

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  1. Vasuma09

    Vasuma09 IL Hall of Fame

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    Who told you life after marriage is troublesome, Are you very happy now with no troubles then what is the point of posting here to get suggestion about divorce.

    Please dont advice blindly which may misguide her.Dont you want to come out of the circle which you are in now,are you very happy to be a full time cook for your wife who is treating you like a ***t.





     
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  2. swapnapriya019

    swapnapriya019 New IL'ite

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    I know What ever happened to me is not gud and not bearable. I beared for enough time. Even after all this I was expecting something else which will not happen (like some magic should happen and all of sudden he will change and care for me... such a dumb and stupi person I am )... I was confusing myself and confusing you people also... Now I got advice or suggestion from you is people is to getaway from that person...Thank you much that you people suggested me for what I deserve for and what I should do...and what can I achieve...
     
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2011
  3. swapnapriya019

    swapnapriya019 New IL'ite

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    They are having properties thats it.. They are getting rents , yearly amount also but his family is combined family.. not yet seperated.. they will not give single penny to him because I am his wife... They will tell we are rich, my son dont need job but they will not give single penny.. you know even he is not having bike with him in city like chennai... I have given 35k as a gift for his b'day to buy bike.. but he spent money for their brothers.. again when he asked bike to his parents they told take money from ur wife bec she is earning.....

    Property is there but family will not give money for expenditure.. I dont know how they thought that his son will live in city without having single rupee in his pocket. If he is not having money atleast he can show little caring right... that also for him burden.. he might be thinking y to waste love for ATM machine... I know how he lovbes his sis, brother even relatives also...
     
  4. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

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    Swapnapriya,You are too innocent or living on some hope that you will wake up and your husband will be completely reformed.That only happens only in movies.If your husband was really concerned or cared about you , he wudnt have freeloaded off you along with his family. So what if your in laws and husband have plenty of properties and are very rich.Where is that richness coming for help every month. Is that stopping them from milking you every month of your salary.

    You need to get out of your illusion and think realistic. You were having health problems but did they even come to care for you.If that doesnt tell you what is your position in that family, what else will. I think you are living in a dream shell. Come out of it and see things clearly.If it didnt happen till now, it may not happen at all.

    I am also surprised how can your family not investigate about his family and his job before settling your marriage.Will all girl's parents trust the groom's family before marriage.A girl's job is her security and not her husband and in laws monthly expenditure. Why are you spending money on your husband. Until he takes responsibility , put your foot down. You let him to freeload off you and not make any efforts to stop it . Yet you complain.Do something instead of hoping.

    You dont have kids yet. Get out and build your life. Why are you thinking about the next girl who is going to marry your husband after you and ruining your life.You are sacrificing your life for something fictional. She maybe much smarter than you in tackling them.For right now she doesnt exist. I dont need to add more as the other ladies have given good advices.Good Luck.
     
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  5. fencesitter

    fencesitter Platinum IL'ite

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    you seem to be very naive.so are your parents. He is like a leech. Get real and IMO, you should get out of this relation.
     
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  6. beerbal

    beerbal Silver IL'ite

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    Swapnapriya:

    Yeah, you need a hubby, but not this bad and not this guy! Come to that realization and look at the bright side: No kids (right?) and you have a good job and employable and still young. You can do a lot better than this. Stay in a cosmopolitan city like Bangalore, Bombay or Delhi and you will settle down nicely past divorce. IMO, Hyd, Chennai etc a re li'l more conservative.

    Good luck. Keep your chin up and have the confidence that an innocent girl like you should have.
     
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  7. ProudIndian

    ProudIndian Gold IL'ite

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    How parents marry their daughter with incapable boy? Are Indian parents still thinking their daughters as burden? Still parents think what people will say if their daughter divorce? How their younger dauthters will get alliance if older daughter is divorced? Oh god I am not proud to be indian!!

    Dear Swapnapriya please get out of this marriage and file Divorce asap. Whatever money you have spend claim that in Divorce alimony. If they have so much property they should give you some compensation for ruining best years of your life.
     
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  8. bhuvnidhi

    bhuvnidhi IL Hall of Fame

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    You want to put up with this guy just bcoz of the social stigma attached with divorce????But the guy as someone said is a leech.He is not human too.He does not take care of you while you are sick.He does not do a job.He does not care about you.But he needs your salary at the end of the month.You deserve someone better.

    Okay , you are afraid of divorce.Give him one more chance.Stand up , put your foot down and tell him that a family does not run this way and you want him to "behave".He has to behave like a husband or you would have to part ways.And for heaven sake do not plan for a baby now even if he tries to brainwash you that way.OR you can just keep a distance from him.Go to your work place , restrict your contacts with him , do not give him your salary (or you can keep for your expenses+savings and give him some amount).But I would suggest "no money" to him.Show him that you are not like those "filmy/old story kinda wives" and you would not tolerate nonsense from him.

    It is very difficult to change a person.Life is not like they show in movies.Husband changes suddenly and comes running to his wife and lives happily ever after.But I have seen cases where the husband changes over the years also.This is a risk a wife takes and she needs to be very smart in making her move.

    Good luck to you!I wish you luck for things to turn out as per your wish.
     
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  9. mybaby1

    mybaby1 Gold IL'ite

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    hi swapnapriya019,

    as u hv read IL helping n neutral advices for going for a divorce i too support this n i think u shud go fr it...but prior to it i wud suggest u to just stop everything frm your side atleast fr 6 mnth like being with him giving him any money or his relatives everything...then just see what their reaction is u will get your answer very clearly.even i can bet that u will see the true picture just in 2 mnths....n before taking this step if u decide to be strong n in the meanwhile u can make up your mind ofr gettting out of this relationship which has just brought pain n agony to u n ur family..
    hope it helps..
     
  10. Chandrika82

    Chandrika82 Silver IL'ite

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    So what happens if you stop sending money? Are they going to physically threaten you or something?
    Just curious to know, why you are still sending money. If its because of what you claim as 'love', then you really need to grow up.

    Stop sending money for a month or two, and let us know how things change for you.
     
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