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Challenges working full-time being a Mom

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by manju_j, May 1, 2005.

  1. manju_j

    manju_j New IL'ite

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    Hi,

    Most of you Moms here, working currently or earlier, would definitely agree with me that there are challenges in day-to-day life when trying to manage between the work and kid/family.

    Please share the challenges you have been through or going through in this regard.

    Greatly appreciate inputs on how you succesfully handled any challenge.
    Also share your thoughts on handling a challenge faced by someone else too in this discussion thread.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2005
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  2. sheeba

    sheeba Junior IL'ite

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    Hi,

    I am sure this is going to be an interesting and informative thread. By sharing the challenges each one faced, even if we didn't have a solution for it, may be it will be a heads up to other working moms especially new moms, and it will definitely leave them thinking to plan how to handle them.

    Manju, kudos to you for having thought about such a thread. Ok, coming to the actual subject of this thread...

    I used to work back in India. Due to financial situations and be a better support for my family, I had to go back to work after 8months of my delivery. So my boy was not even 1yr when I left him in daycare and went to work.

    I don't want to blame the daycare, they used to take good care of him. But he often used to catch cold and fever from other kids in the daycare. So whenever he fell sick (more often till he was 2 yrs) I had to take leave. You all know that not much leave, for that matter even unpaid leave is eligible in private companies.

    When I leave him in the daycare with all the medicines thinking he is ok, most of the times I used to get a call to my office from the care taker that they are not able to manage him, he cries badly, not eating, temperature rising, he is throwing up, etc. I will feel very helpless. Some times I will pass the information to my husband and he used to go and pick up the kid and bring home. But at times it will be of no use, since my kid would want only me next to him when not feeling well.

    This was something very challenging...how to handle the kid when he is sick as well as manage to go to office???
     
  3. malar

    malar Bronze IL'ite

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    Unplanned long hours work

    While working full-time, to put in work for normal hours and balance between family, kids and personal time itself is a big challenge.

    It gets even more challenging when you get into a situation to put in unplanned long hours working. Like unplanned after office hours emergency meetings, sudden visits by higher officials that requires us to stay and any crisis situations demanding extra hours work.

    We might not be able to get extra hours with day care or baby sitter for the kids, husband might not be in station to get him come home early,etc.

    Sometimes everything will get so complicated around us making it a disaster
     
  4. malarvp

    malarvp New IL'ite

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    Hi all,

    nice post and good to see that I'm not the one left alone in this. we are talking about kids in the day care and work pressure. theres one more to add to it. making the kido ready to the day care. oh my god i don't have words to explaing this. I'm a mother of 3yr old and these kids they understand everything at the same time behave like they don't understand. every morning I struggle with her to make her hv breakfast. i try explaining her, playing with her, fighting, threatening, sometimes beat her also. no use. still haven't found any solution. I feel jealous of the parents when their kids have their food properly, but we only know when we talk to them. there might be other problems. :mad:

    one thing for sure...when they grow up to some good positions in life evrything will be forgotten. we would have done the same in the past and our parents would have felt like this and now they are happy to see us working, being a mother, handling work and family. same for us. :2thumbsup:

    Malar
     
  5. Neesha

    Neesha Senior IL'ite

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    Hi

    Also struggling with the challenges of working and being mum to a 5 yr old and 10 mth old. I think worldwide we should have 2 yrs maternity leave!! We won't feel guilty working after that.
    A tip for getting the kids ready on time - we started a star chart for Dhivashan after realising the shouting in the morning left us all feeling unhappy and guilty. Make a chart/ calendar and every day stick a star if the child has his/her breakfast, brushes teeth and wash and dresses. Praise the child whenever she gets a star and you can also have an agreement to say 10 stars will give you a reward (ice cream, outing, toy). Depends on the child's age. We haven't linked this to rewards but he feels very good and proud when he gets stars and its stuck on the wall where visitors can see it too.
    Also get as much as you can done the evening before so its not a mad rush in the morning.
    Make a game when waking the kids up since they hate to get up. My husband carries my son and gets him to switch all the lights on.
    Hope these few things help.
    Neesha
     
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  6. diwali

    diwali Senior IL'ite

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    hi Neesha,

    thx for u r suggestions!

    Srilatha
     
  7. shivani gupta

    shivani gupta New IL'ite

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    Hi all mambers,

    I read all of your views about kids. I also want to share some views about my kids. I am married and i live in delhi and also doing a job. My family is very small. Me, my hubby, my kid and my mother-in-law stay with us. We both are working person. My mother-in-law looks after my child. he was only 4 months old when i left my child and join my office. But in this time he is 4year old and i am going to admit my chil in school. So my problem is that when my child will go for school so it is very difficult for me to teach him bcz my office time is 6'o clock and i reached my home at 7,o clock and after reaching at home i also have to made food at night. So when can i teach my child and how can i manage all this things. Plz help me out.

    Bye tsk
     
  8. JayaJ

    JayaJ Senior IL'ite

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    oh! its quite a challenge - being a full time working mother and having a household to run with a toddler to look after.
    I have a daughter who is 2.2 months old. Shes quite energetic and loves books. she can sit for hours - provided her father or me sit beside her and read our rhymes, alphabets, numbers, colors, shapes, what not.
    The only frustration with her is shes a very very fussy eater. she prefers not to eat any solids at all. she will fillher stomach with milk and water. refuses to eat anything else and will scream her lungs out if i insist she eats some veggies or rice or even fruits. i am fed up with her eating habit. I have to run behind her, cajole her, threaten her for atleast 2 hours whenever i feed her.

    Besides that, i dont have a maid. So, its quite dreadful. I have to rush in the morning, finish cooking, cleaning her bottles, packing her tiffin boxes, bathe my daughter, get her dressed (not that she will stand like a doll and get dressed, she kicks and screams and wants to suddenly play), get dressed myself, drop her off at school and then go to my office. evenings rush back to pick her up from her granny's place (my mom's place) reach home, start preparing dinner and watever cleaning up, feeding her (oh Lord!) then, putting her to sleep. Her father helps me a lot but its still tiring.

    Our weekends are spent just cleaning up the house, cleaning the bathrooms, dusting, (all the chores that we didnt have time to do during the weekdays)...and then, we are so tired, we just relax at home. other times, frenz drop in (oh brother!). Painful!

    i am looking for a maid who will just do the household chores in the morning. i havent found one and its been six whole months!!!!!!

    anyways, my challenge is when i am going to have a second kid, how will i manage.
     
  9. shivani gupta

    shivani gupta New IL'ite

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    Hi Jaya

    I read your view's about working women and kids. I know that it's very difficult to manage all that things for working womens. We r also a love married couple.UI thing jaya u r going to plan your second baby. U know i don't want any other child bcz if we do other child so it will take nine months and agin bear pain. Oh my God ! it's very painful and one more thing is that we have also arranged money for second child. u know it's very difficult for me to live in delhi with two child but any way my good wishes are with u.
     
  10. kavya007

    kavya007 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi,

    I have a 16 month old toddler. My son kept falling sick at the daycare. Frequent colds and ear infection. I felt very guilty and quit my job. Now I enjoy spending quality time with him. I am thinking about doing a part time MBA or weekend MBA to keep myself busy.

    Kavya.
     

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