Catholic - hindu married life - suggestions needed

Hey, which posters is this lady referring to as monsters here?:bonk

Is it allowed as per the rules to call fellow posters monsters? (although it rhymes well)

Where is our all-knowing Teacher?

 

@Tugga you have every right to say that you hold a certain belief and that it is between you and your husband. I too am of the same opinion. If you put the specifics of the belief in a religious forum (I believe there is a Christian forum/thread, then you are going to get responses which agree with your belief. But if you put it out in this forum it does sound like you are challenging others...so they respond to that challenge. I don't think you have to justify your believe any more than I have to justify mine but the onus is on you on how you phrase yourself.

Ssm...this thread did extend because of your questions and you ask that it be closed...which is fine.

@bukbuk yes, all the five year olds who've had the opportunity to meet me(?) have come out feeling that I know everything I haven't followed up to see if they continue to hold the belief:rotfl hopefully they do. Now if you continue to extend this thread I will not be around to add my enlightened views (yes I hear you weep). While I am getting tested, do write...(not cheeky notes on IL) maybe the book will be ready by the time I am ready to recuperate...and we can meet on the book lovers forum while I enlighten you further on what I like.

As for this issue, I do feel that it is only in the hands of the partners...no matter what others may say or want, (parents, friends, religious leaders) can only be spectators. If we start looking at the fundamentals of other people's religions then we'll only be in a never ending battle. Is it completely possible for others to stay away? No. But can they try to minimize their influence? Yes. Is this only amongst Indians? No. Do individual personalities impact how different couples deal with this issue in their marriage? But of course! Does my view have to be accepted universally? No!

Sometimes even after everything is discussed and agreed upon, one partner may find that he/she does not like the equation in reality...then based on what the individuals want out of their lives they can continue to be frustrated or choose to start afresh.

@bukbuk hope I sound erudite

 

@Tugga: Good on you for standing up for what you believe in. I have not read your other posts (and frankly don't see why they should be pulled into this particular thread!) and may not agree with all your points...but if my post helped you, I am glad.

@others: I don't think there is any need for any of us to move our posts to "religion specific" threads, "leave the forum", "put disclaimers", OR sit back and take unwarranted criticism just because it is a public platform. As far as I can see, our threads (Tugga's and mine) were directed specifically to the OP and we didn't make any general statements concerning any other faith that would "offend" or "challenge" others on the thread. Heck, the OP is not even from the same faith as ours! Our posts were to caution that no amount of 'preparedness' before marriage can prevent certain shocks and surprises post-marriage...we shared some of our life experiences to prove the point. For some bizarre reason, some of you have taken it upon yourselves to be the champions of inter-faith marriages (not sure how many of you are even IN one) and have decided that marriages where couples follow one faith is one-sided, unfair, and so on. Even worse, you have singled out a particular faith and made derogatory comments on certain aspects of it. Based on all your responses, I think it would be 'fair' for me to conclude that all Hindus get their undies in a wad whenever someone from another faith marries a hindu and the couple and children follow the faith of the non-hindu?! (I think it will be well-justified to give counter-responses to such a general and provocative statement...sadly, none of our earlier posts contained such statements or warranted the kind of replies that have been made.) And why on earth should anyone get offended if Tugga has something bad to say about her ILs?! Here you are having the gall to comment and judge other people's marriages, question their choices, and dictate what is right and what is wrong... and it's not right for Tugga to comment on her own?! As Teacher said, why is it so difficult to respect someone else's belief and choices even when it goes against what is politically correct or "secular"? At the end of the day, everybody on this forum is sitting on the sidelines...we are not emotionally invested in someone else's life situation...we don't know the difficulties in making tough decisions and surely, we don't have the right to assume and judge others based on their choices.

@MODERATOR: I second the suggestion to close this thread. It looks like we have either scared the OP away or bored her with issues that were not relevant to her questions! If she doesn't come back, may I request this thread to be closed? - we seem to be running around the same mountain again and again...my shoes are worn out already.

 

Not sure about all Hindus madam, but did you put this question to your husband? What does he say? Based on your original post where you said he feels henpecked, he must be walking around with wet undies all the time. Gross, but you asked for it:rotfl

 

@Bukbuk: Good to see you rolling on the floor laughing at your own jokes. Again, if you spent a little more time actually reading people's posts instead of going into a tizzy on how to come up with irrelevant and irreverent responses to them, you will find that I said others mock my DH of being henpecked and not that he feels he is! Sorry to burst your bubble dude/dudette...we are very secure in our marriage, (however offensive the 'arrangement' may be to you) and I am happy to have married a Hindu who can accept me the way I am.

Just so others don't "pick out" the statement I made, I am reproducing the ENTIRE sentence. It was only meant as an example of provocative statements being made that are (rightfully) offensive. There were a few 'generalized' statements on other posts that talked about how christians/muslims always convert partners and make their children follow their faith...it just goes to show that the sword can cut both ways, that's all.

P.S: I guess there is no point in waiting for the moderator to close this thread! I choose not to comment anymore on this thread as it appears to be never-ending. So feel free to squabble all you want!

 

oh please CJ, even we understand a bit of English language. But that was not the point anyway. Since you made a remark on all Hindus and their undies, it's applicable to your dh as well?

What kind of etiquette can one expect from a person who doesnt have the civility to respect her partner's religion? Oh now please don't assume I pity your partner. But I do pity your in-laws!

 

CJ
I have always wondered for each and every inlaw bashing that goes on here...what was the other side?

Each time u write how ur inlaws are distant and refuse to keep in touch with you and how ur parents are really ok with ur inter-religion marriage and u are welcome in theri homes as they are in yours...I had wondered if there was more to it.
Ur responses clarified that point...
How can u expect any grandparent or any parent to be happy with a situation like this ? Where u basically refuse to respect their faith to the extent u dont even want to raise ur child exposing him or her to both the beliefs? You dont have to answer me or anyone in this forum..but I want you to think about something...You are basically cutting ur DHs parents from his life and ur childs.
Its not fair to both .
Yes I am judgmental..but not anymore than each of ur posts where you have cried foul about ur inlaws.
I wonder if the situation with ur parents will be the same should ur DH refuse to come to church or insist that his child only follow his religion.