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Can men and women never be good friends ?

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by vishnu vandana, Sep 7, 2005.

  1. vishnu vandana

    vishnu vandana New IL'ite

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    Why its diffucult to trust men, parents say always be away from them , as there always a hidden motive behind, and men become friends to women only becasue they need always "sex" from them . Why is it like this. Can men and women never be friends?

    i have a friend who is married , both like each others company, but i have been advised that its not good , why ?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2005
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  2. sudhavnarasimhan

    sudhavnarasimhan Silver IL'ite

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    mutual understanding is necessary...

    Dear Vishnu Vandna,

    Great question.....but i guess the answer lies in the limits you set in your friendship. One has to be careful when your friend is from the opposite sex. Enjoying a platonic relationship with mutual understanding needs a lot of trust and it takes time. If you have got such a friendship, then good....but if he is married you have to take care that his wife also understands your friendship and accepts it!
    regards,
    sudha.
     
  3. rohini

    rohini New IL'ite

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    Just to add more

    Hi Vishnu Vandana,

    Sudha has already answered your question very well. I would like to just add few more to it...

    There can be a meaningful friendship between a man and a woman if they are going to be matured individuals and have their relationship within their limits. Getting to know each other, then becoming friends and later deciding to marry each other is not wrong in my opinion, provided they do not offend anyone else in the course.

    Also, not all men are bad and not all women are good. If the meaning of friendship is known and the individuals mutually benefit by the relationship sharing their ideas, common interests, etc. it can be a healthy one like between two men or two women.
     
  4. vishnu vandana

    vishnu vandana New IL'ite

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    that was very nice advise sudha, thanks a lot




     
  5. ish_nalini

    ish_nalini Senior IL'ite

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    Both can :p , but basedon our Indian's culture most of our women wont keep in touch with thier boy friends from school and college ....It seems to b safety at the same time why cant we:cry: ???
    women should make their hubbies to understand of thier pure friendship:-D and make their friends to introduce to him....but my sincere advise is if we are very open and frank to husband and maintain a limit with friends...they wont mean it bad!!! try it Congrats :clap if worked out...
     
  6. sowjvin

    sowjvin New IL'ite

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    Men and Women friends

    I am married for past 6 years, I am still in contact with both male and female friends of mine(some of them I know for more than 20 years, I am 32). And also my hubby has contacts with friends of his. In fact we know both our friends and meet each others friends. It all depends on the relationship you share with your spouse and other family members. My parents not only know my friends but even his and viseversa........friends can never judged by genders(very sad that not only Indian but even other societies dont accept this)
     
  7. aishu22

    aishu22 Gold IL'ite

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    Possessiveness a great enemy!

    Hi all,
    Men and women can be friends after wedding - as sudha told is just how much u make ur spouse understand the divinity of ur friendship and the beleif that they have on us.
    My hubby has lotta friends who are girls. I know them quite well.But.........LIMIT matters.He behaves well within limits and they replicate the same, so no confusion.
    I have seen disbelief and silly arugements errupting among my friends with their spouses since they are all very possesive in nature and fail to accept the purity of friendship. Of Course im possesive about my hubby too.. but that shud not be a over dosage and spoil ur married life..


    Its just my thought..

    Bet regards,
    Aishu.
     
  8. rajmiarun

    rajmiarun Silver IL'ite

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    My Friend

    Right from school days I had lots of friendthough I choose my friens carefully and introdce them to my parents. Many have lost contacts as they moved to various other places. But one person is long time friend of 18 years. If not for him we would not have bought our own house says my husband.

    We studied together in school, in a different college, he got a job in Mumbai and moved there, I got married and moved out of Chennai still we kept in touch. My husband understood our friendship and has never stopped us from writing to each other or talking to each other.

    Days passed he moved to Chennai, we moved to Chennai, he fell in love with a girl and got married. I was bit worried as to the reaction of that girl. But LO she is a wonder understood our friendship and she too became my good friend.

    Though we live inside the same compound, now he is busy officially and I am busy with family we see each other on weekends, either they come home or we go there. They are in the next block. I am so proud to have such a friend and such a loving understanding husband.

    Thus if your spouses are understanding and if you have a limits of your own there is no harm in a boy and girl being friends. I always say he is not my boy friend,but a friend who is a boy. That has made people understand and stop gossiping.

    That was about a long time continuing friendship; but all my hubby's friends are also good friend of mine as he is the first to get married in his gang. They all are friends with us together and also individually.
     
  9. Sharmili

    Sharmili New IL'ite

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    Can a man and women ever just be friends?

    This is an age old question, but I came across this question in a recent RD and here is the answer the author gave.

    "For a short time perhaps. Making the friendship last requires that you find each other at least vaguely repulsive".

    I find it to be true, but my best friend disagrees.

    Sharmili
     
  10. funny2007

    funny2007 New IL'ite

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    Hello I am a male 29 years old, in my opinion a men and women can be good friends as its my own experience that I had a chance to have some girl friends we use to meet and help each other and we use to share our all personal problems and use to celeberate happiness, we never had wrong feelings. Its true as an human being men and women thinks about the sexual desire but once we if we have good friendship then I think it can go on..
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 4, 2007

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