1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Can man/our husband always become a hero?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by InnerBliss, Dec 6, 2011.

  1. InnerBliss

    InnerBliss Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    140
    Likes Received:
    396
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Most of the ladies want to see the hero in their husband. After some years of married life, the ladies realize as if they have been deceived in the relationship. They got something else instead of what she had expected! Do you think, all other/most of the ladies always get the hero?

    I think that sometimes, we ladies, do follow our role models. We do have the image of our husband being a strong, perfect, and all-in-one being and thus, we have so many expectations with him. It happens mostly in our country where male and female do not have equal status and even in the movie which reflects the best image of the society, you would see it is mostly male oriented. Male is always the hero. The girls during their growing stage, are highly influenced by this heroism. They do believe that their husband should also be like the heroes. The girls do sometimes, compromise with the looks or other habits or qualification of their hero, but it is difficult for them to accept seeing their hero not being hero when they really need it.

    However, it is normal. We all are the human organism. We all get influenced with the way the society influences us. We shape our beliefs by not only observing our role models, movies, tv programs, what friends say, what teacher teaches but also observing the society. We select what we want to believe. It is the good idea to select that we are the woman, we are more vulnerable, but it is not the good idea to believe that the husband has to be our savior every time, he has to be perfect at all instances, if he did not, we are there to question him and torture him through out the life.

    Marriage or family life becomes more enjoyable when we can show unconditional love and acceptance to the people with whom we are with. We can live more happily when we can accept the people with all their weaknesses. Certainly, then we have the right to expect the other people also to accept us with all our strengths and weaknesses.

    With time, we all change and shape ourselves according to our loved ones expectations. When the little step of goodness is appreciated, the effort-making-person is encouraged to repeat that action. Else all the people involved do get frustrated and depressed not knowing what would be appreciated and thus, not much progressing or growing in the relationship.

    A couple, who always shared problems and difficulties with each other were suggested to write their goals for the family life, what each of them is contributing to achieve that goal, what are the problems and how they are working out on that problem helped them changing their life-style. They were also made conscious of not making negativity in the communication outweigh the positivity. Problems should be firmly in diaries and the work out should also be there. If you ever wish to discuss about the problems, set firm air time for say 10 minutes for each person involved. Focus on WHAT is important and not WHO is important.

    Heroes can be found in the stories only else we all are human beings and all heroes as the human have their strengths as well as weaknesses.
     
    5 people like this.
    Loading...

  2. psych

    psych Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    590
    Likes Received:
    190
    Trophy Points:
    108
    Gender:
    Female
    Our Man (or woman) (wife/husband) is always our Hero/Heroine.

    for these reasons they are our Hero/Heroine:
    1. they come back to us every evening
    2. they take care of us
    3. they ANNOY us
    4. they sit and talk to us
    5. they cook and feed us (takeouts included)
     
    3 people like this.
  3. JGVR

    JGVR Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    999
    Likes Received:
    672
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    As you said blame it on the movies which never shows the other side of life.But women are very emotional they always long for the affection and sense of security that their father provided in their husband also.Hence they consider a man as their hero and tries to please him just for that love and care.At the same time they raise above the situation and take charge when things go out of control.In many households women are the real heros.
     
    2 people like this.
  4. Jananikrithsan

    Jananikrithsan Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,161
    Likes Received:
    128
    Trophy Points:
    128
    Gender:
    Female
    It all depends on how we want to look at each situation! Not always can we get the man/ woman as what we had in our mind! The real test is to still think they are the very best even after knowing / living with them! Sure thing, it is not easy, but then that is what a relationship for keeps is all about!
     
    2 people like this.
  5. GeethaMR

    GeethaMR Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    314
    Likes Received:
    75
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    Nice niece thread.
    :clap
    The replies as well add to it. Indeed, the problems should be in the diaries, efforts towards the solutions should be seen in the behaviour and love and affection should be seen in the words!
     
    2 people like this.
  6. SallyR

    SallyR Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    487
    Likes Received:
    155
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    Innerbliss I completely agree with you.

    I find most of the Indian movie heros to be really sexist. Men all strong, powerful (beat up bad guys) & so on. Women weak and always in need of rescue. We don't need a hero to take care of us because we're stronger than that...we need a man to be our partner in life...a hand to hold during the ups and downs of the journey together :)
     
    1 person likes this.
  7. InnerBliss

    InnerBliss Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    140
    Likes Received:
    396
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Thank you so much dear IL friends. I enjoyed reading your views and opinions on this thread. The grown up girls could not compare the father's capability with the husband's as in the first role, we find that it is more one sided relationship. Father keeps on giving and providing. They (fathers) hardly expect anything in return (exceptions excluded) however, in the later relationship, in married or other shared life, it is the give and take relationship. There has to be a mutual understanding of what is expected and how it should be met! There should be no assumptions but clear communication and efforts to make the relationship successful as the result of team work.

    Like this, both of the partners can be an unique hero fulfilling each-others and family's needs.
     

Share This Page