Can man/our husband always become a hero?

Most of the ladies want to see the hero in their husband. After some years of married life, the ladies realize as if they have been deceived in the relationship. They got something else instead of what she had expected! Do you think, all other/most of the ladies always get the hero?

I think that sometimes, we ladies, do follow our role models. We do have the image of our husband being a strong, perfect, and all-in-one being and thus, we have so many expectations with him. It happens mostly in our country where male and female do not have equal status and even in the movie which reflects the best image of the society, you would see it is mostly male oriented. Male is always the hero. The girls during their growing stage, are highly influenced by this heroism. They do believe that their husband should also be like the heroes. The girls do sometimes, compromise with the looks or other habits or qualification of their hero, but it is difficult for them to accept seeing their hero not being hero when they really need it.

However, it is normal. We all are the human organism. We all get influenced with the way the society influences us. We shape our beliefs by not only observing our role models, movies, tv programs, what friends say, what teacher teaches but also observing the society. We select what we want to believe. It is the good idea to select that we are the woman, we are more vulnerable, but it is not the good idea to believe that the husband has to be our savior every time, he has to be perfect at all instances, if he did not, we are there to question him and torture him through out the life.

Marriage or family life becomes more enjoyable when we can show unconditional love and acceptance to the people with whom we are with. We can live more happily when we can accept the people with all their weaknesses. Certainly, then we have the right to expect the other people also to accept us with all our strengths and weaknesses.

With time, we all change and shape ourselves according to our loved ones expectations. When the little step of goodness is appreciated, the effort-making-person is encouraged to repeat that action. Else all the people involved do get frustrated and depressed not knowing what would be appreciated and thus, not much progressing or growing in the relationship.

A couple, who always shared problems and difficulties with each other were suggested to write their goals for the family life, what each of them is contributing to achieve that goal, what are the problems and how they are working out on that problem helped them changing their life-style. They were also made conscious of not making negativity in the communication outweigh the positivity. Problems should be firmly in diaries and the work out should also be there. If you ever wish to discuss about the problems, set firm air time for say 10 minutes for each person involved. Focus on WHAT is important and not WHO is important.

Heroes can be found in the stories only else we all are human beings and all heroes as the human have their strengths as well as weaknesses.

 

Thank you so much dear IL friends. I enjoyed reading your views and opinions on this thread. The grown up girls could not compare the father's capability with the husband's as in the first role, we find that it is more one sided relationship. Father keeps on giving and providing. They (fathers) hardly expect anything in return (exceptions excluded) however, in the later relationship, in married or other shared life, it is the give and take relationship. There has to be a mutual understanding of what is expected and how it should be met! There should be no assumptions but clear communication and efforts to make the relationship successful as the result of team work.

Like this, both of the partners can be an unique hero fulfilling each-others and family's needs.