can a married couple lead a happy life without children?

Woman are tortured for not bearing the fruit. If the man is crazy about children there would be a vaccum in life forever. But, if she has got a friend in him then there are no problems forever.

Also it depends on their attitude on social stigma.....

if they have the attitude of

Kuch tho log kahenge
Logon ka kaam hain kehna
Chodo bekaar ki baaton mein
Kahin beet na jaaye rehna:tongue

Companionship matters the most...

 

i believe, we have kids because we want to share our love...to expect the kids to feel the same way about you, is actually, selfish. To have a kid, or adopt one, or what ever, thats personal choice. As long as you can keep the society at its place, it'll be fine. Like someone said above, i have seen older folks, who would have been better off in their old age, if they didnt have any kids. Yet there are a majority of the older folks who are happy and peaceful because they have kids to take care of the. Its plain luck and your fate..its a lame excuse, but thats what it is. Besides, in todays world, we actually show kids how to take care of ones children, how many of us show our children how to take care of our parents. Some things are ttaught practically, they shoould see how we take care of our parents, or inlaws, thats what sets an example for the younger generation! if we teach them only to take care of kids..well...thats what they'll do when they become parents themselves..they'll take care of their kids, the way we took care of them!! hahah..ironical twist in life!!!
i know folks, in their early 60's who have no lids...but they r happy..they say that they were unhappy in their earlier years, when everybody else had kids except them....but today, they r fine with it! kids are not for old age, who knows if we will live long enough to have them take care of us, or they alive to do so...
just enjoy life as it is...instead of thinking about future...think of now!!! if u r unhappy without a kid, try conceiving one, or adopt one of the lil ones who need a family...love them thoroughly, but dont expect anything back...for the old age, keep a retirement fund ready for yourself and ur spouse!!

 

hi radha, This is raja... It is little difficult without children... but well understanding couple can have happy life without children.

Same time if there is any misunderstanding between them that will be very difficult to lead a happy life in this world.

Regards,
Raja, Dubai, UAE.

 

Hi Radha,

I would say, it's totally upto the couple. If they think that's how they want to live, then so be it. But do note that Indian society will not spare you. They will hound you!!! Oh yeah! Every tom, dick and harry is gonna question you on why you dont have a child, if there is a problem etc...etc..

So if the couple is up for it, and is strong enough to face what society has to offer them in this matter, then there should not be any issues.

I personally always wanted to have 2 children....I dont know why....have felt this way since college days. I have a son now and I think I would like another kid sometime soon
But that's me.

I know of a case where a DIL was bugged like crazy to have a kid. She finally gave into the pressure and had a baby, but since she was a working woman, she got back to work and her MIL was taking care of the baby. Now the MIL was having a tough time with the baby and she told her DIL that she is finding it difficult to take care of the LO. DIL responded saying that you are the one who wanted us to have this baby, so please take care of the LO while I'm away!

 

Indeed a good topic.
If the couple is broad minded and is strong enough to face the society has to offer them in this matter, then there should not be any issues.
Also, yes, Companionship matters the most.

 

Thanks kamdev for bringing this thread back to life after 3 years

:thumbsup

 

well..kids make life more MEANINGFUL.

people will talk they do not care for kids BUT someday it will make them too LONELY unless they r hyper busy with work and other things..

 

Every woman dream is to mother a baby, She feels complete in her life only if she is mother to a baby. If the both husband and wife feels that kids are not important good understanding between them then they can lead their life happily.
I am very fond of children and even my husband likes kids a lot. but i was unable to conceive naturally,, after many struggles through ivf treatment i got my beautiful kid an year back,. I was really happy with my family now...

 

What a thought-provoking topic. Once an aunt was unhappy her son is marrying against her wishes and said, "I did so much for him and he can't listen to me for this matter." How selfish I felt!! My personal opinion is really derived from a necessary generalizing of the situation. Of course people are different and some couples might be different from the general public, but like I said, "generally" speaking NO. I look at it from two angles

1. Priorities in life/reasons one has children
2. Children by choice or no children by choice

1. Yes I totally agree that it breaks my heart to see young mothers having to leave 1-2 month olds in daycare so they can go and work. If she needs to, to have money, she really should not have bent to the pressure of becoming a mother or should have waited till things were more comfortable (being Indian though, I know this is easier said than done in our society). If there is no financial need, but she values her career so much then should have thought about how to explain a newborn, an infant, a talking toddler, a rebellious teen and an adult with the memory of a skeleton childhood for the rest of his or her life, this priority of hers.

It brings it down to the reasons why people decide to have children, after speculation I found all the below general reasons as hollow and bad reasons to have kids
1. because they carry forward our genes - trust me, nothing will happen to the human race if someone does not have children, the others will have
2. Because they carry forward our "name" - stupid reason. This is what brings in the gender preference for boys, followed by disappointment and depression if you have only girls
3. Because they will take care of you in your old age - really? They are not born with those guarantees and I personally believe they should not be viewed as retirement funds or old age nurses. Of course it is delightful to have your kids and grandkids around and be happy with you in your old age, but to have kids with that expectation? Uh oh, wrong reason to have kids today.

The only good reason to have kids is that they let us live our childhoods again through them. We can laugh our hearts out at their silly questions, we can be silly all over again, play hopscotch, eat ice cream and maggie with them, help them grow up to be kind and happy... the best reasons to have kids. And for this reason alone I say, yes the couples that don't have kids are missing out on something really awesome.

When some old people ask "I gave my sweat, blood, life to bring you up, now it is your turn to pay back the love" (by marrying by my choice, siding by me always, or whatever other unreasonable requests) I feel sad. I have two children and every time they smile at me, hug me, say I love you to me or hold me in their sleep I feel THEY ARE ALREADY PAYING BACK my love, my sweat and my sacrifices. What more can I ask for, from them?

2. The other perspective of looking at it is, has the couple remained childless by choice or not? If not, then my heart aches for all those of you out there and I sincerely wish you be granted children. For yourself and not for the society. And even if you cannot beget children, adopt if you can, because raising a child is the reward of birthing one anyways! If you have remained childless by choice, then no matter what you think today, someday you will regret it. I am not talking here about those old people who lost everything to kids and wish they didn't have anyone.... to some extent it was their mistake to not arrange for retirement themselves and let their kids get away with swindling them. Loving kids does not mean we will not teach them to respect our rights and property. When I say you will regret it, I mean, if you are perceptive, you will regret the look of complete trust, love and confidence you will see a child bestow on his or her father, you will regret the saliva filled kisses a baby showers on his or her mother!

 

One thing I can tell you, not everyone is cut out to be married or having kids. It is purely a personal choice.

Many people do not know how to live with others, yet they get married and have kids.

And there are many others who are absolutely happy with their choices, they may get married but may choose to have no kids, or they may not even get married.

In India, most people have kids not out of desire but out of compulsion. Given a choice, many probably would opt out.

Its important to be respectful of anyone's choice, what works for one may not work for the other.