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came to know that ex is married

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by ivlakshmi, Dec 12, 2011.

  1. shruthisp

    shruthisp Gold IL'ite

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    Hi,
    Sorry if sound rude but juz wanted to convey this,
    Unless and until u erase the memory of ur Ex and the short span of life u had with him, u ll never be able to move ahead least be really feel free and happy..
    U r wasting ur time,energy in something which is totally worthless and on the way u may be ignoring/hurting people who really care for u..
    Everyone has right to live their life the way they want so u are...
    Live your life!
     
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  2. anjananathan

    anjananathan Platinum IL'ite

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    hi lakshmi,

    please don't do that mistake of checking what ur ex is doing.. that will spoil ur happiness.. my friend used to do the same and she went thru a very bad phase when she came to know that her ex is sending interest to other profiles in matrimonial site..she used to read what he has written and shout what a lie.. slowly things changed and she also found a good profile thru a known source.. they spoke for few months and they are happily married now..

    so take this time to forget the past.. time is the best healer.. so give time some time.. if u are not strong willed person, make a promise to god that u will never visit his profile in FB or whatever.. slowly u will forget.. once u are totally out of it, get re-married if u find a right guy..i will pray god for you..

    thanks..
     
  3. omnam

    omnam Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear,

    When I read the head of thread, I was also felt sad to read. Its really hard to digest this thing. But I am really angry on you. Why are spoiling your life seeing his profile?!

    As we said earlier also please stop checking his profile. I guess you never had good time with this guy...what is there to think about him! Think of all those nagging, insults and hittings...you will develop the haterness for him. God is there to punish him.

    As you are legally seperated why you want to see his profile? Leave da please. Dont torchur yourself more. Dont browse for sometime now. Spend more time in office. Watch TV, buy oven, try cake and all food items shown in master chef, eat well and sleep.

    I advise to work for NGO after office hours orelse take tuitions for the financially weak kids. Believe me charity will be counted in good deeds, you will feel satisfied and occupied. Giving education free of cost to needed people is the best charity you can.

    Dont just sit infront of system. Go for hobby classes.

    Please accept that ex is married and you are not going to check somebody husband's profile. Please.

    I believe once you get good alliance you will automatically forget about ex.
     
  4. sushmavja

    sushmavja Platinum IL'ite

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    i was just chatting with an old friend and had to come here again to post this for you.I have to tell you abt two people.
    1.I was doing a 3 month testing course in Hyd. I was engaged by then and all girls in our batch was either married or engaged except one girl say R who was the most bubbly and lovely girl in the class. One day we went to another girl's house and were watching that girl's marriage video when R started crying all of a sudden.when we asked her she told us she gt married just after her BSc i.e at 19 years. Since then she has been taking lot of abuse from her husband and his family. He took her to the US. he was changing jobs and this girl was answering all his interviews with a speaker phone.he behaved weirdly all the time,hit her and then aplogise and all stuff.they came back n again he never changed.this girl told her parents and they couldnt help her initially.Later again after going to US the same repeated.This was for arnd 3-4 yrs. Then the parents of the girl got her divorced and she was taking this testing course.This happened 6 yrs back. After her course she got a very good job and went for many onsites too. Later a guy from her office proposed her and it was only yest that their match has been finalised. Still her parents are not accepting the marriage as the guy is from a different caste. I really fail to understand these caste discrimination in Andhra.They dont see how good the guy is who is ready to get married to a girl who is divorced.Morning she changed her relationship status on FB, then i pinged her abt it,..she told me abt the marriage.I knew abt them for quite some time but the parents werent accepting either sides but now the guy's parents hv accepted.
    2. This is from my in-laws family.The girl did her MSc. Then got married. The guy and his family showed her all hell and the good thing is though he went to US he left this girl back at his parents house. They beat her n didnt give her proper food also.That's when they took divorce and took a s/w course and she is well settled now. One guy again of a diff caste proposed her(this guy did the s/w course with her) when the parents were looking for alliances. and they are happily married and have 2 kids nw. Though it was a tough time convincing the guys parents they are on good terms now.

    These two guys are gays or i dont know if i can use impotent and they wanted to show to the world that they are men. and thus tried dominating the wives and their families also branded these girls as mentally challenged girls. These girls took it as a challenge and got good jobs and are faring really very well.

    there are many many such instances happening..dont feel its only you.good that you came out of a bad relation ship which could have caused you even more pain and worry. Think of your life ahead and stop thinking of that EX who hardly cared for you. Say he dint divorce you and being a husband he never cared or acknowledged you,that would be even more painful.So better disconnect with him and stop tracking him

    Sorry for such a long post. Just wanted to give you a confidence that a Divorce is not the end of life. Please have a positive outlook for the problem.
     
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  5. DivyVisy

    DivyVisy Junior IL'ite

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    Please dont track your ex details... it will make you feel bad... God is always there with you... Just goahead and think of your new life...
     
  6. teacher

    teacher Platinum IL'ite

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    Everytime you get the impulse to check on his status, etc do something completely different. Maybe a chore around the house, some creative activity, a prayer...or even putting Rs 5.00 into a jar for the poor...
     
  7. ivlakshmi

    ivlakshmi Platinum IL'ite

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    yes will try my best..thnk u friends
    god is always with him , he is well settled and happy now..whr as i am still struggling to get over all this
     
  8. Uttaraa

    Uttaraa Platinum IL'ite

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    Phew..god has tremendously helped YOU in getting him married FIRST!

    Sparing you the agony of wondering is he or isn't he dating, meeting or seeing anyone. Now that the gate is permanently closed you don't have to think on your marriage altar if you are taking the right decision or should have waited , waited and waited for him to reconcile. From what I see it is a true BLESSING and signal for you to MOVE ON..

    Now tell me isn't he helping you, eh? Why is your ex happy and well settled cause he seems to have realized that life is short before it is too late. I know it must be agonisingly painful to forget your past but you don't have to relive your past every single day which you seem to be doing ...break free from this mould and the only person apart from god you would thank one day is your EX to have made it so easy for you to push yourself ahead.
     
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  9. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear IVL,
    Unless you stop comparing yourself with your EX you will continue to feel unlucky.
    See both of you got married to each other and got divorced so that equal.
    Then he moves on , you do the same.
    He is happy because he is not looking at the past and having negative feelings like you.
    Will you keep thinking of your Ex even after you remarry? Will you continue to keep track of his life all your life ? :rant
    Remember hate is form of love , unless you get your Ex out of your system you will be unhappy .
     
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  10. Aspire

    Aspire Gold IL'ite

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    GOD is also with you. You are becoming strong.

    The caterpillar needs to struggle (transform) to become a butter fly!

    I am sure all good things will come your way. Just let go of the past hiccups! It's difficult, but possible.
     

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