Buying Peace Of Mind! Is It Worth It?

hey ,
ur mil is exactly same as urs . i can completely understand u .. i m wondering if ur mil is a clone of mine ..
my god .. what ever u said .. ditto
they think they are the smartest in the world .. and they think dil is the most unsmart person in world
shout for everything a to z .. morning to night ..
morning doing bf , making lunch , dinner itself ll be like a war .. shouting, screaming , talking about how good they r etc .. the tone is too harsh and will make us feel to run away ..
we ll ve head aches often .. each and every word that you wrote applies for me .. except that i m not living with her right now ..
if i stay with her for 20 days ( max i ve stayed 22 days with her) , i will get admitted in a mental hospital .. my god .. she wants to live as joint family and i m thinking i would rather live seperately without hubby rather than living with her ..
it ll be easy for ppl to advise you . but i know exactly how difficult it is to be with such a person ..
i ll tell u few things which helped me .. i was like yourself for first 3 years until child was born .. then when kid was ` yr old she asked me to stay for 2 months with her .. and i got panic attack . that day i decided that i ll not suffer anymore and ll try handling things..
let me tell u in next post what all i did

 

continuing ,
few things which helped me ..
ur hubby wont be able to help u much .. she has brought him up in such a environment and they r used to her drama .. and from hubby's childhood , he would have gone through yelling.. so he would never stand up against her.
so make up ur mind to handle things urself ..
first .. make up ur mind that you need not get good name from her . it ll never happen . so dont be nice to her . she ll always try to prove that you are not smart , not efficient , not a good planning person etc .
it s v difficult to share kitchen with such ppl . just tell her that she need not come to kitchen as she s old .. tell her that u can manage things alone .. or when she shouts in kitchen tell her firmly " maa , either u be in kitchen or let me be in kitchen ." .. she might do drama . if possible , make sure u take up all kitchen works . put on loud music or head phones in kitchen and start working .. dont let noise affect you ..
it s best if you take up whole kitchen .. but i know it might be not possible .. just make sure u dont communicate much by having loud music or having headphone music ..
you join gym or some class so that u ll get atleast 2 hours away from her . please make sure that she also does not join the same class . they might tell something that ur not responsible and going to gym without their consent etc . might make drama too . but just tell , i need to go .. infact pay for a year or so .. advance payment and escape for atleast 2 hours.
how much ever drama happens at home .. dont care at all .. be a spectator and laugh at it..
if guests come dont over work ... just do how much u can ..
even if you dont like to go work , go for a part time atleast for 4 hours to escape from headaches ..
daily a huge drama ll be there regarding maid , driver etc .. just dont care ... ( how ever see to that the maid does not run away due to torture)
Never try to solve issues for them .. just tell her u r smart and u only handle it ..
Finanes , lock your finances in a retirement plan .. tell them that u get pension while ppl working in private ll not get ..
when she yells at you , walk away from the place . suppose it s moring time and you are preparing breakfast and she is yelling at you . stop everything what you do .. and go to your room and tell her that you ll no longer take yelling .. ( if kids need bf , ask them to take bread for a day ) .. give her shock treatment ... next time when she starts to yell , atleast she should get a feel that her dil will not take it anymore ..
dont spoil your life thinking that you want to be a good dil .. you can never be good to them ..
she ll yell at you as long as u take it ..
last time i stayed with her for 22 days ( my hubby was not there ) ..she yelled at me and I yelled back at her ..she stood shocked and moved away from that place . . evening i went to restaurant all alone with my toddler and gave myself a treat ( had dosa) to celebrate my victory ....
If you want to survive in that house , you need to do 2 things .. one , make them know that you wont tolerate yelling , complaining and all .. two , make sure you watch all drama as entertainment and not with stress ..
( atleast in ur case , only one person - mil is like that , I have 2 - a mil and sil who are of same personality and will shout whole day and ll make each and every chore v painful .. for making idli ,the drama they make ll be as if they are lifting mount everest)