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Building Mutual Respect and Equality in Marriage

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Rihana, Dec 8, 2015.

  1. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    I happened upon an essay on how genders get assigned to jobs. And it appears that if a job does not have a gender assigned to it YET, it is imperative to make sure that both genders (married partners) get to do it in the early stages before any gender assignment happens. Loss of equity, and even respect happens in marriages when the couple let it happen in the early stage of marriage. Why we gender-stereotype jobs
     
  2. Ciny

    Ciny New IL'ite

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    I feel women who is well educated, having a job and financial support from parents are only respected.
     
  3. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    No matter. Unless a bargain is struck early in the marriage, it is hard to renegotiate later.
     
  4. stayblessed

    stayblessed Gold IL'ite

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    That was a superb post.
     
    hermitcrab and EnlightenedSoul like this.
  5. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    hahaha... I had read that swt.charu post, and went "ahaa.." thinking about the educational benefits of a slightly dysfunctional family. The children wont go out into the world with naive assumptions about things. They will test, and find out, before trusting something.

    For what it is worth, swt.charu is now part of a dysfunctional scheme, and her children would learn to be a lot more clever.
     
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2017
  6. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    Not true @Ciny Many women are having these things, but end up doubly exploited than respected. These things will help her have more choices when it comes to groom, but not necessarily help after marriage. It doesn't guarantee anything. Sometimes, its true well educated/ successful women are respected because people tend to give importance to earning/successful members within a family.But equal number of such women who are facing excess burden due to their jobs/money. Everything depends on the particular situation.
     
  7. ConfDesi

    ConfDesi New IL'ite

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    There should have been a book in this title by now.
     
  8. Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    That FB post sounds rude, IMO. As though we are the greatest parents, and someone in future won't criticize our parenting? All (most) parents do their best given their generation and environment and their 'exposure' that they have had (or didn't have) at that time back then...we do the same, and the exposure and environment will change 25 years from now again, its a cycle. Will be nice if they dont interfere, but that again to some extent is a product of the parameters listed above, they are used to that and not as exposed to the independent lifestyles and expectations of DILs of today.

    @Rihana - make a reminder note for one more thread from me in future (apart from rl vs vl thread), 'Why even get married (esp. without due diligence), and then crib constantly, subsequently'. Ira's approach is good, either do it right, or stay without all knotting and legally wedded and blah, until it is right for you. Dont get in coz of the 'age factor'.
     
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2018
  9. Rihana

    Rihana Finest Post Winner

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    If the DIL specifically calls up the MIL or brings up the topic out of the blue in person and says that, it is rude. If MIL keeps offering unsolicited advice and does not desist even after multiple requests, then the DIL being human, might resort to such a line when her patience runs out. Does not take long for MILs to get exposed and used to independent lifestyles and expectations of DIL and son. How hard can it be to keep one's opinions to oneself and not offer them to those who have requested such do not offer?

    One time you told me to make a note (the rl vs vl), I read it and moved on, didn't make any note. Now, one more homework for me? Why would I make a note of future threads from you? You should try Evernote.
     
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2018
    SunPa and Sandycandy like this.
  10. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    Due diligence unfortunately does not work on how a marriage turns out, how kids turn out or how life turns out in general. One can only have the best of intentions for anything in life be it a choice of spouse or anything else.
     
    Archanaanchan likes this.

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