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'Branded' Am I?

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by EverHappy, Dec 6, 2011.

  1. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Everhappy,

    First of all, love your userID. Your topic is very timely and spot on. There are so many parents who in a fit of frustration, born out of their inability to get Juniors to achieve the moon and the stars burst out and vent out their grievances in words.

    This is so so true. How many years are lost in this process and the years the child could have spent achieving so many things are spent trying to build up their self-esteem and fighting back bad memories. Some eventually do rise above it, some land up with all kinds of complexes which eventually show up in their personalities.

    Wish parents would be more sensitive and remember their own growing up years before using such hurtful, scarring language with little ones.
     
  2. Mindian

    Mindian IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi everhappy,

    That was a lovely post with a very important message.yes, we ought to very careful while speaking to a child.nothing that damages their self esteem or confidence should be ever uttered.
    Luckily, I have always been surrounded by people who make me feel very special indeed and I have communicated the same feelings to our daughter.:)
     
  3. EverHappy

    EverHappy Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks Sushma,

    I definitely laud your mom's attitude, something for us to learn from.. Im sure you will be catious with your DD :) Good luck..
     
  4. EverHappy

    EverHappy Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Sri sir,

    Thank you for taking time to write an fb.. I'm overwhelmed.
    I am glad that there is nothing in the list that ticks your boxes. Samething happened with me, my parents dint, but my school principal did with a 'careless' tag, which probably influenced my dad sometimes.. But I carried that baggae with me for a long time, but decided to drop it after I realised that it was just a baggage and nothing more.

    "It only goes to show that we must keep looking for some chance statements that may help us to break free from these childhood tags!"
    Cant agree any more, whatever said and done, it all boild down to us and our attitude...

    Again, so happy to receive an fb from you :)
    I must admit, I have been reading so many snippets these days that I manage to stay late in office to finish my work :bonk
     
  5. EverHappy

    EverHappy Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks dear, It indeed becomes a big challenge for the child.. An example is one of my cousin, though she has outgrown it, it had a huge impact in her life..

    Thanks Bhargavi, that definitely motivates me to write more.. :)

    Thanks Satchi, My user id is my life's mission :)
    True children have to start from a negative postion rather than zero. They first need to fill the dents caused and then start building.. Its very sad sometimes to see how they believe the wrong words so much and shape up to match it.. It becomes a life long struggle for some.. I've seen it happening to one of my cousins. She grew up with her gandmom who was scared to send her to even buy things from a shop. This made my cousin scared to even cross a road even after she grew up. Her entire life's mission so far has been to exit that cob web.

    Thanks Mindi, Happy to know that you always felt special. Indeed every life is special isnt it? :) I'm sure your daughter will proudly say how special you make her feel when she realises it :)
     
  6. vchelluri

    vchelluri Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Everhappy,

    I like your user id a lot.
    It's really a timely & thought provoking post to all the parents who never miss a chance to brand their children living in the ignorant concept of doing it for the good of their kids.
    I have seen so many such incidents which leave a deep scar in those tender minds making them believe it and take it for grant on their part.
    I try to be very careful with my kids in not doing so but still sometimes they have some impact of some of my words, not branding names. As I will always encourage them a lot to share their hurted feeligs, I will get to know the impact of my words immediately and take them back and make them understand the motive behind it.

    Once again I appreciate you for your lovely post.

    Regards,
    Latha.
     
  7. EverHappy

    EverHappy Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Latha,

    Thank you very much.. I try my best every day to live up to my user id :) and I hope others are happy too..

    As you rightly said, of course parents never want to do bad to their children, but in this case ignorance isn’t bliss. But life is all about moderation isn’t it? (I read a beautiful snippet recently about moderation, can’t remember who wrote it)

    Glad to know you are so careful, ya it is difficult with kids around, though I don’t have first-hand experience, I have seen it. It is very important to become a friend to your child and give him/her the confidence that they can confide in you no matter what happens. My sister (much elder to me) always told me “whatever happens, remember you can always tell me. Even if you do something very bad I'm there to listen to you and I’m with you" I can’t tell you how much of security that gave me, not that I did anything horrifying but this made me feel I have someone. I've seen teenager with suicidal feelings but just this one assurance will keep all those troubles at bay..

    Again, thanks a lot for reading and appreciating.

    I'm happy that I've got a forum where I can reach so many people with various thoughts that I couldn’t even imagine would happen without this virtual platform.

    Good luck with your children :)
     
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