Bil Visiting - Any Dos And Donts

reincarnantion · Jul 6, 2016

Dear Ladies,

My younger brother in law is visiting us for 3 weeks in US before he starts his masters in another state.I don't share a good relationship with in laws but has never confronted anyone so i am nervous about his visit.

Brother in law is not involved in family dramas and has no clue the ladies of family can't stand each other. I plan to take care of him like my own kid brother and have already started buying gifts for him.I just wanted to check from others experience if there are any dos and donts I should keep in mind. I can go party or visit places most of the days but i fear getting too close with him might make something slip from my mouth and don't want that to happen.( not a happy place for either of us)
P.s I stay in a 1 bed so privacy for him/us is both taking an adjustable hit.

MalStrom · Jul 6, 2016

Be friendly but be restrained in your speech. And if he is going to be visiting you frequently it will be better for you to treat him normally. Do what you would for a guest for a few days but also slowly involve him in doing some of his own chores such as laundry, helping with dishes, getting coffee and snacks when he feels like and so on. If he plans to cook while he's on his own and doesn't know how to you can teach him some simple things. And encourage him to go out on his own occasionally if possible so you get some time alone.
His visits will be a lot more pleasant if you don't establish a precedent of waiting on him hand and foot and his future wife will thank you.

blindpup10 · Jul 6, 2016

@reincarnantion
Congrats on your BIL studying Masters in US.
First- show him ropes of how things work in the US. Laundry, kitchen, dishwasher. Not right after he lands.. Give him few days and say it like these are all new and it was such a struggle for you to learn.
Second- Make sure your husband isn't financially supporting him through college. It is good to have some family in a foreign country especially while studying but make sure your BIL is responsible enough to pay his own bills and not to depend on your husband.
Third- Your husband might be adding him to your family phone line.. Make sure you and your husband talk about the budget and things with your BIL.
Fourth- BIL will need a laptop, ask him to get one from India. Or at least know ahead who will be sponsoring it.
Fifth- Do you know if your BIL is sharing his apartment for his univ- is he getting stuff from India or freeloading from you guys? Things like plate/ utensils
Sixth- Have a good time, like you said men don't bother about family drama unless they are made to involve. Just be yourself and have fun.

PS- Don't make the mistake of having a serious talk with your BIL. Like laptop/ phone bills/cars/ money. Make sure your husband does it. Just be there as a friend for your BIL.