Hello everyone anyone who read my previous posts would know, how horrible in-laws I have. ( MIL &SIL). I also have this annoying BIL and his wife. when we shipped household stuff and personal stuff to India when we built our house when I visited literally everything was gone. this BIL is not that well to do compared to my hubby, my BIL and husband have a reasonably good relationship. the issue is he and his wife have to take everything we have. they go through our wardrobes, household stuff, don't and just take whatever they want. we can't just keep anything... recently he visited us and saw some electrical item we use and he wants my hubby to bring it for them. my hubby had few expensive sandals and shoes from clarks in India, he took it, when he speaks to my hubby he would just casually say 'i took that sandal ahh, when he has taken 4/5 sandals and shoes!About his wife veryyyyyy corrupt talks sweetly to face and always she has stabbed me on my back. I am very patient with her and talk once a month. I find it very hard to say certain rude stuff which I would LOVE to say. Also, she is very jealous of my life I don't say anything to them coz i dont want them to think or feel we are treating them coz we are arrogant etc. PLEASE ladies how to i handle these people.
Stop talking to them. If you don't interact with them there is very little chance of them stealing your things. Don't allow them access to your home in India. I am surprised they have not moved in already with the largesse you have showered on them.
Either you face them head on or get sneaky-smart. Head on- Since your hubby might not do so, you would have to voice it out and say stop. Or be blunt or insulting. Next time, u can even say it cost so much, pay this amount. In families these things does tend to get tricky, so you need to do this the right way at the right time. If you can convince your hubby to handle this, even better. Sneaky- smart- Get the indias house keys or change the lock of your house. They might move in. Step sending stuff to them. Can anyone help you from your side? Whenever they come to your house or around your stuff, put all your valuable in one room or cupboard n lock it n you personally keep the key. - have heard some people do this when a very naughty kid comes to visit them.. make sure nothing is accessible to them. You and your hubby use some old stuff just in front of them. If you are feeling generous, you can give them gifts or even better, you can use your contacts to get him a better paid job.
Thank you. ashneys and Umanga for taking the time to reply. My husband gives them gifts veryy generously and also help them money wise for every need... but they seem to be ...I don't know what!! yes you all are right they would have moved into our house, but my MIL and SIL have already moved in. If you read my other posts you would know.I can't do things Head-on! Also can't tell off people,( my weakness) But trust me, I wish to rip these people into pieces, I have locked most of our stuff in 1 room in our house. (in a five bedroom house, my stuff locked in one tiny room), when my husband visits alone, he uses that bedroom, they all come go through all the stuff, and take as well, my husband even locks that room while he goes to the toilet. he hates it, he hates them too for this reason, but we think we can't break family relationships coz of material stuff. but I don't think I can keep thinking that way too long.
What "material stuff"? You are doing so well in the States, what do you need them for? I think families are becoming toxic in India, no love and affection just money, money, money. If that's all they are interested in, tell them to pack up and leave. In stead of paying respect to you for looking after them, they are looting you in broad daylight. Shameless. I am glad to hear you and your husband are on the same page on this matter. I was just on another NRI forum and somebody mentioned Your Man in India. They will help you get things done in India when you are not able to do them yourself and shall save you from relying on your intemperate family. If you want to sell your property, buy property, manage tenants, get documents, get medical and health assistance, they shall do it all for you (for a fee of course). I think these people shall be much more reliable than your family. Good Luck!
PS: As always, take everything with a grain of salt when it comes to India. Still, for certain tasks, I think we can give them a try: your man in India
haha... Its quite common to take all the stuff from abroad. In my case my BIL who is staying at abroad took few electronic stuff which my H got as a gift from his organisation. I did not even open the package and see. And within next few days it was gone.