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Being In Usa How Do You Schedule Your Activities With Your Preschoolers.

Discussion in 'Toddlers' started by Mehana, Dec 1, 2019.

  1. Mehana

    Mehana Platinum IL'ite

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    Hellomoms,

    I am in USA. The place I live are mixed up of Indians and other nations. But to be honest I had good experience with non-indians when it comes to playdate for my little one.

    Here's my question. Just wanted to ask everyone what you do with kids during spring break, Thanksgiving break or any short break.

    I tried hard for arranging playdate for my 4 year old son whenever he's on long weekend or some Saturdays. But after few months I am exhausted as I am the one always initiate but other moms(he got 2 friends near my house) doesn't care but always bring their kids to my home, have free snacks, no interest for potluck, mess my home don't care to clean etc.

    I thought I am being used so slowly got away from the playdate idea. Brought some board games and small games so that I can keep entertain my kid. I often take him to play area, bake with him, watch kids movies, some academic work, outdoor bike etc.

    He goes to prek 5 days a week almost 6 hours a day. So he's a lot time to play with other peers. Should still I initiate for play date in the weekends??? We usually go somewhere like grocery shop, shopping mall, small theme park etc.

    Please share your inputs what you do with your kids in the weekend so that I can make sure I can find other families so that he can still play in park or I just ask them will take turns at everyone's home??? OR what I am doing right now is okay for my 4 year old kid.
     
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  2. hermitcrab

    hermitcrab Platinum IL'ite

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    OP,
    Your child is going to preschool, so he is getting a lot of peer interaction and play time.
    During weekend, you can focus on family time. No need to look hard for play dates during long weekend or weekends.
    That said, if you have a young family like yours, that matches your wave length, then all weekend theme parks etc will be more fun. But it takes a lot from mothers to initiate and nourish this kind of friendships in desi circles and they will only last for 3-5 years, since the families move to another place.
    I would suggest, other than school just focus on family time, have fun as family, if some other family comes along, then fine, else do not put effort
     
  3. Mehana

    Mehana Platinum IL'ite

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    @hermitcrab thanks for your input.

    Yes I always welcome to have families that matches my wavelength. As you said being in USA some friends move to different locations and we lose our friends circle. But being here for long time I had very good friends and they moved. But it seems very bad as some people are selfish here. They want their kids to play in my home and doesn't want to have playdates their home. But I don't want to go into that topic anymore being waste of time.

    Just wanted to see how other moms are doing things with their kids if they don't have much good matching friends circle nearby.. But I do have some other friends but they live far away (25 minutes drive) andand do meet for birthday parties. I felt at one point meeting some few good friends occasionally (matches my family wavelength) should be good and spend my time with kids in weekend doing other chores.
     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2019
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  4. Mehana

    Mehana Platinum IL'ite

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    Any other inputs please...how other moms do spend their time with kids if they don't have much good friends circle nearby.
     
  5. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    Mehana, hermitcrab's response says it all, and so succinctly she has summed up the experience. "If some other family comes along, fine, else do not put the effort."

    I would add to what she has said: don't go about the playdate and more activities setting up unless the child is actively asking for them or is spending too much time with TV, electronic devices. Don't do it because some article says so or because other families are having more playdates and organized activities.

    He is 4, the second child, and you are adept at researching academics, schooling, parenting and so on, and have already tried playdates but parents take advantage of you. He spends almost 6 hours M-F at preschool. That is more than enough time with people outside the family. What you are doing is perfectly okay for your 4 year old.

    If you still want to do some structured activities with him after school and in the weekends, there was a thread about activities for summer that can be used throughout the year.

    Uncommon Summer Activities For Kids In U.s.
    Not pushing my own thread : ) but rather I know how moms worry and worry whether they rae doing enough for and with the child. If you happen to like one activity and make it a regular one, you might worry less.

    ETA: Just read through the thread. it is more for older kids, but some might be useful.
     
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  6. Mehana

    Mehana Platinum IL'ite

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    @Rihana you always give awesome response.

    Yes I am worried and wanted to make sure I a doing everything perfect for him being a mom. He's my second that's why I am more worried as my elder is special need and I already giving more attention to my elder one.

    I do my best for both but I wanted make sure mymy little one get all his needs for his age.
    After school my elder gets ABA therapy but younger one involved as well for few goals as we do social skills like turn taking games, sensory play etc. Weekends my younger one asks me can I go play with X friend or Y friend...I am sometimes busy in the kitchen and I have to turn on TV which makes me guilty. But tv is very limited..

    I always actively play with him but sometimes as a human we need some break as well...I am just going on the flow but posting in this forum I can know how other moms making things...

    Thanks for your link:)
     
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  7. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Gold IL'ite

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    @Mehana been there done that, you can see my previous threads on friends & neighbors.
    I literally had nightmares with one person who would just drop by with her kid just to make him tired so he can sleep.
    Not a single time they call us to play , there were only 5 apts away in same community.
    I slowly understood people around, stopped playdates at home
    Now playdates are only in parks or some indoor place during winter (trampoline park, kids indoor play ground). I stopped organizing at home.
    1) buy board games - cooperative games. Legos.
    2) floor puzzles, 200-300 piece puzzle set a table if you have space.
    3) car cleaning activity - together every weekend
    4) laundry activities - like sorting kid , mom & dad dress after washing. May sound silly but it's a great sensory activity
    5) if you live in a house do gardening/ if you live in apt grow 4-5 plants make kid take care of it.
    6) shopping yes! Only grocery shopping. My daughter would tag along I will ask to pick veggies, fruits. Only minus is chocolate or any unhealthy snack as treat
    7) make him join any arts and crafts classes
    Michael's offers5$ activity classes on weekends.
    If he is regular he can find friends. Same with homedepot they have classes every month for free, it's a family activity.
    8) your city would have a library, join the library.
    They have group activity like story time, crafts time, book clubs, painting time, reading clubs etc.
    This library saved me and my child because we made good friends here. Found like minded people, definitely non-desis.:laughing:
    9) if you know swimming, take him to swim.
    10) find YMCA near you, they offer family sports activities. Cheap and best
    11) we bought a small theater - with few puppets and screens. We write stories or make up spot stories and act on it.
    12) I follow fb& Instagram Accounts for Montessori, learning thru play pages and do activities at home. This helps during holidays. It's little tiring to clean up. Buy materials etc.
    13) buy story books 5 min , bed time and thematic stories from Disney or other your favorite kid's characters.
    14) we listen to stories from Alexa also listen to stories in native language.
    15) try to find friends from school where you can have play dates in park.
    Summer is fairly easy than winter.
    Lastly don't be door mat for people who take up your time and energy. Leave them.
    You will find great friends if you start doing what you love with your kid.
     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2019
  8. Mehana

    Mehana Platinum IL'ite

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    @Vedhavalli your answers give some frustration relief. At one point I couldn't sleep some nights as why people (some) are like this. Even I posted in another thread as one of my friend(not my friend bez for playdate I started talking to her as she lives nearby...) She used to come all weekdays everyday and she moved to other city just texting saying we were busy and we moved a week ago...I asked where did you move she just mentioned city that's it...though I asked her 2-3 times about the location she usually doesn't reply with her home address. But good learning experience so I know to make sure to learn people first before I initiate anything...

    Thanks for your inputs. Yes I do have some board games, painting, community park, baking, shoppy etc....going to start more home made food and freeze it that I can have more time in the weekends while they are at home.

    Today I did story book..both my kids enjoyed.
     
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