1. Have an Interesting Snippet to Share : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Beggars and Choosers

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Balajee, Jan 14, 2012.

  1. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    4,604
    Likes Received:
    3,485
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Male
    If you come across a beggar and give him a one rupee coin, just look at his eyes. They’ll say a thousand things whih when translated into English will nmean something like this:


    “You (expletives deleted) miser! Who is the beggar here, me or you? Don’t you know there’s something called inflation? I think we should fix a minimum alms rate of five bucks to keep cheapskates like you away!”


    Beggars really are becoming choosers.. Take the case of the poor Delhi government. They want the capital to look like the HQ of a emerging economic power with beggar-free city. So

    they came up with the idea of offering each beggar a stipend of Rs 30 per day, if they stop begging. Nothing doing said the beggars, we will not take anything less than s 80 per day if you want to keep us off the street.


    So let us imagine this scene of the beggars negotiating with the government.


    Government rep(GR) Eighty rupees! Aren’t you greedy? We are offering you 30 bucks per head and that is a luxury. Montek Singh Ahluwalia has said a family of five can subsist on 35 rupees a day!”



    Beggar rep(BR): : Montek SINGH Ahluwalia? Sardar hai kya? Only these guys can come up with such whacko ideas that have no truck with reality. Did he flunk in economics at school ?



    GR: Montek is the vice chairman of the Planning Commission but now I remember, he withdrew his remark after a lot of protests.


    BR: So, he put his foot in his mouth eh If he hadn’t I would have shoved that Banta’ Singh's both feet up some other orifice!


    GR:: Montek, not Banta. Oh, never mind, Our offer is 30 bucks, take it or leave it!



    BR: If I stand at traffic signal and keep invoking Allah and Bhagwan I would make 100 times as much money than your measely offer!” (walks out).



    Now if the government agrees to a stipend of Rs 80, the question arises, will it bring down the number of beggars or increase it. I suspect it will only make begging more attractive as a career. Lured by the stipend more people may jump into the fray. Enterprising school and college kids may find the stipend a means of adding to their pocket money. And become parttime beggars.


    This will fuel a demand for rags for stipend seekers to look convincingly like beggars. For all you know you may soon have prosthetics ’that will make the new enhtrants to the profession look grotesque to attract pity and even generate revulsion selling like hot cakes. Rich kids who seek a bit of extra pocket money may even invest in designer prosthetics and special make up.


    So is stipend the way out to rid the city of beggars? Give them jobs may be? Are you crazy? The beggars are quite rich. There have been incidents when lackhs of rupees have been found in the person of dead mendicants.



    Here is the way out. The government obviously can’t beat the beggars, so it should join them, and start a National Beggary Corporation. Rope in the beggars with offers of lucrative monthly wages.. Publicize that those who want to offer alms can send cheques to the corporation and the nmoney can be utilized to pay the wages of the beggars. Advertise in papers that alms should be given to only beggars employed by the corporation and those who drop a coin or two to beggars freelancing near traffic signals and temples can be made to pay hefty fines.



    And to attract public sympathy for the corporation’s employees, post their grotesque, mangled pictures at bus stops railway stations and even airports. So that people are moved to send donations.



    With its profit the corporation can invest in the latest make u, costumes and special effects to make its employees look sufficiently beggarly. It can even make documentaries on its employees to elicit public sympathy



    Of course sicne it will be a government body the corporation will have its share of scams like kickbacks for purchase of sophisticated make up, prosthetics and rags for the beggars. Media will talk of Bikharigate or Beggargate. Couple of expendable chaps will end up in jail while the guilty will get away. But running this show will not be difficult for the government. After all it is used to beg for foreign aid from international lending bodies and developed countries.,
     
    8 people like this.
    Loading...

  2. Pallavi4me

    Pallavi4me Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,309
    Likes Received:
    4,520
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    What a sarcastic & Hillarious post Balajee!!!

    You have said the points very well and final touch is too good. While reading i'm thinking how can some one miss the corruption into this even... AS i thought you have put that also..

    Fun apart!!! But such incidents really evokes us to think.. "Where we are heading??"" I dont have answer for that..

    anyhow enjoyed reading your thoughts...
     
  3. satchitananda

    satchitananda Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    16,218
    Likes Received:
    22,919
    Trophy Points:
    590
    Gender:
    Female
    :spin :rant :bang Balajee, I have nothing to say. Mera Bharat mahaan. :) Glad you are able to laugh at it. Nothing else we can do about it with a Govt which does not have the will to put an end to it.
     
  4. mansimahi

    mansimahi Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    610
    Likes Received:
    849
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    Real good satire Balajee!!! I remember reading that a beggar died with Rs. 2lacs cash in his pocket. His body was lying on the streets untouched until the police took it away and when they checked the body he had multiple pockets in his shirt and had stuffed in 1000 and 500 rupee notes in all pockets.... the police were stunned to see the cash. And another in bangalore who owns a house in a posh colony and goes to his begging job like a 9 to 5 duty on his bike ..parks it..changes into rags and starts begging. Apparently begging is a huge money making enterprise and rs.30/- a day that the govt. proposes is like "chillar / changE" to them...
     
  5. haagesummane

    haagesummane Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    399
    Likes Received:
    361
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    here comes an satirical article about an ongoing issue.. well written balajee..
    I pity on these beggars. Unlike some of them who do it as a lucrative business without sweat,there are some who are forced into it by some gangsters.Some children are being amputated to increase the mercy level of people on them for giving the alms.Few NGOs rescued hundreds of child and teen beggars from the hands of goon...
    Sad to see such incidents..
     
  6. swarnalata.N.S.

    swarnalata.N.S. Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,397
    Likes Received:
    789
    Trophy Points:
    208
    Gender:
    Female
    After reading, First I laughed nicely. Then I became so worried. What if some good-for-nothing politician in power reads this and gets bright ideas ! Ayyo !
     
  7. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    4,604
    Likes Received:
    3,485
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Male
    Pallavi I don't think I have the answer to that question either. That's why I am laughing at the issue.
     
  8. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    4,604
    Likes Received:
    3,485
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Male
    Satchi we can only laugh at it and the incompetent buffoons who rule us.
     
  9. kelly1966

    kelly1966 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,798
    Likes Received:
    1,529
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Balajee..
    another classic from you...most of these beggars are very hardy players like this one old lady who used to beg on the pavement opposite my mother's house in mumbai once fainted and on examination had a huge bag full of cash strapped on her belly and hips .. due to this weight she couldn't walk!! and she fell down!!...
    but its definitely sad about kids being kidnapped or sold and maimed for pity!!!..
    k
     
  10. dakshayaeni

    dakshayaeni Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    301
    Likes Received:
    159
    Trophy Points:
    95
    Gender:
    Female
    You know what the situation is at west bengal? Here you will find international beggars, oh no am not joking. Number of bangladeshi beggars have increased at an alarming rate here and no govt left or right would do anything. Reason is vote. These people cross border by paying max 500 and get ration card and right to vote. No one will ever do anything in this aspect here in WB, god, am sooo angry while writing this even...
     

Share This Page