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Baby Care In The Us With Little Help Or No Help

Discussion in 'Infants' started by blindpup10, Aug 17, 2016.

  1. blindpup10

    blindpup10 Platinum IL'ite

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    I started this thread for the new mother with no family support as an encouraging thread to know about newborns. I encourage other mothers @Bubbles. @ILUser07 @viki123 @momsky @dc24 @MindVoice to contribute and share their experience.

    I am sharing my experience and my knowledge about handling my baby. I am not a pediatrician or an expert who has dealt with babies other than my own. Being a first-time mommy- I am limited to my experience with my own baby. I am here just to share my experience/ struggles and my parenting style.

    I didn’t follow certain Indian methods- just because my DH and I live in the US and if anything happens to the baby, as parents we might repent. DH and I made a pact to follow the US method to be safe and efficient. Without an elder around to encourage or to give guidance in every day babies life, this is an option that worked for us. However, I have to stress that DH and I are Indians.. and our ways just seeps in directly or indirectly.. Having MIL/ SIL/Mom/ Aunts can't really hold on to doing everything American.

    In the end whatever is convenient, safe, healthy and best for our baby is what all parents do.


    I have made a list of things one must be aware of if you are in the US-

    Things to be Aware of Before EDD
    Things Hospital Teaches
    Before You, are Discharged
    Feeding
    Health and Medication
    Bath time/ Clothing
    Lifestyle Adjustments

    Things to be aware of before EDD -

    1. Get in touch with the local pediatrician- Start the search at 7- 8th month. I insist because some pediatricians have a waitlist and may not be taking new babies. Pick a pediatrician closer to your home.

    2. Get a questioner set up for Pediatricians interview. I will share some links which may help you to get an idea.

    Interviewing A Pediatrician

    Checklist: Questions To Ask the Pediatrician You're Considering

    Questions for Your Potential Baby Doctor | What to Expect

    How to Choose a Pediatrician


    2. Get a stroller/ crib set up/ drawer set up for your baby. Shop for the first set of clothes 0-3 months or have 10 of newborn size clothing. Because babies put on weight in the initial 1 month period. You can go for 0-3 months clothing at that point.

    3. Make space for baby items in the kitchen. Allot a space- I didn’t do this and after I got the baby home is when I realized that I need a sterilizer/ baby bottles/bottle warmer. I had to re- arrange a little bit of things to fit in my kitchen.

    4. Have an idea/ plan for your child’s sleeping place. I wanted my DS to be independent and I don’t co-sleep with him. I placed the crib in my room- at 0-3 months there will be feeding almost ever 2 hours. If you are placing in a different room.. make sure there is a bed in the other room. The better alternative is to have crib set up in your room and change into a separate room after 6 months.

    5. Get a breast pump at around the 7th month of pregnancy. All insurance will give one for free. Go for Medela. It’s the best on the market. It is easier to pump BM, on days you are extremely tired your DH can take over for you. As I had low-BM flow- I had made a routine that I would formula feed at night and pump at night and Breastfeed in the morning. On certain evenings my DH has bottle feed the pumped BM. I have posted a link which will help you to store the BM after pumped. Breast milk storage: Do's and don'ts - Mayo Clinic

    6. Do your research about formula. There are 2 different major brands- Enfamil and Similac. There is also ready to feed formula and powder formula. My SIL had advised me to have Enfamil ready to feed at around 8th month of pregnancy. I had got a couple of boxes. It helped me big time, after coming from the hospital my DH didn't have to run around to get baby formula. Usually, it takes 3-5 days for milk to be produced after delivery. My aunt who gave birth a decade ago was very surprised to see "ready to feed formula". My Pediatrician highly encouraged ready to feed formula- coz it doesn't gas in infants. I would highly recommend you to include these question during the Pediatrician interview

    7. Make a decision about circumcision. We didn’t go for it… This is something to think about with your partner. If you get your baby circumcised in the hospital.. your insurance will be charged as hospital expenses. If you do decide to get circumcised later on- might have to pay out of pocket- as it is considered cosmetic.

    8. Pick out a name for your baby. It will be easy for SSN and Birth certificate. You will get your Babies SSN with in 2 weeks. You have to go to the County’s Public Health Department to retrieve the birth certificate. I had to pay $20 for each copy. Make an appointment at early morning (don’t have to wait in line) and it's an easy process.

    9. Be aware of all the vaccination your baby and you will get during the hospital stay. Talk to your OB or the pediatrician you pick. My blood test showed that I did not have the measles Vaccination and I got MMR before I was discharged. If there is a vaccination that mother has to get hospital will give it to you before you are discharged.

    10. Lactation- Ask your OB or your birthing class instructor about lactation videos/ classes. My hospital offered online classes and encouraged mommies to take these classes before giving birth. This helped me quite a bit to help my baby latch on.

    11. Car seat classes, There will be free car seat classes from your hospital, please make sure you register for it and You need to have bought a car seat at around 8th month and have installed in the car. You and your baby will not be allowed to go home if you don’t have a car seat. On the day of discharge, your DH should be able to get the car seat to the discharge area and will be monitored if you and your DH can correctly latch the baby in the car seat.
     
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2016
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  2. ramyaramani

    ramyaramani Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Good info @blindpup10

    Want to add couple of points:

    Car seat - In the US, you can take your car and the seat to the local fire station. They check if the seat has been isntalled properly.

    It is not necessarily true that it takes 3-5 days for mother's milk to come. For a newborn baby, stomach is the size of a cherry. Frequent feeding along with skin-to-skin would help. Colostrum that is generated the initial 2 days is the milk for a newborn.

    Formula - Hospitals follow a certain brand of formula. So it is best if you give the same formula after reaching home. So talk to the hospital during the hospital tour itself regarding the brand of formula. Buy formula only for a week max. I breastfed my little one and I dumped lot of formula down the drain.
     
  3. Bubbles

    Bubbles Silver IL'ite

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    Wow @blindpup10, what a detailed and informative post/thread! Along with your other threads, your write-up is well written, and comprehensive! Kudos on your excellent effort!

    Some add-ons from me:
    • Have a birth plan, and discuss it towards 8-9th month with your obgyn. This includes your preference regarding mode of delivery, whether you want stitches or particular want to avoid them, pain medications : just injections or tablets or epidural or a combination.. It is perfectly fine to let your obgyn proceed in his/her own way, but if you have an opinion on this, do share it with them. They will document it, so your entire team of care-providers will be aware. This does not imply that it will be followed disregarding your medical needs, but will be followed as much as possible.
    • Discuss with your obgyn about the baby-friendly procedures of the hospital :
      • Confirm that you will get to suckle your little darling soon after birth in case of vaginal, or within a couple of hours in case of Caesarean.
      • Have a plan about breastfeeding vs bottle-feeding, but keep an open mind.
      • Ensure you will be able to room-in with baby, and not leave baby in the nursery esp. the first few hours.
      • Decide about your preference regarding pacifiers, bottle-feeding - your spouse should be able to communicate your preferences to the baby nurse soon after birth. I for one did not want baby to be given a pacifier at any point (blood draws etc), and instead asked for it to be done while I cuddled baby. Just an example
    • Decide if you want Cord blood banking. There are two options : Cord blood alone, and along with umblical cord cells. You need to decide and preorder, atleast a month in advance. You will be provided a kit - get it around end of 8th month, just to be safe. This should be taken with you to the hospital, so put it into your labour bag. And let your OBGYN in your 8th/9th month visit, for they need to be prepared to collect it.
    • Keep your support team ready. :D You and your spouse will be tired, exhausted and excited and anxious. Have someone to run small errands, pick up things from home or stores.. getting you meals etc..that reminds me:-
    • Stock up your pantry/kitchen/refigerator. Very very very important. Trust me, you will not be able to budge, and your spouse maybe totally stressed out to handle anything more than a reheat-and-eat.. and you will need nutritious food too. If possible, have friends drop over with food. In my opinion, this is more useful than any babyshower ceremony or gifts!:grazy:
    To be continued...
     
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  4. viki123

    viki123 Silver IL'ite

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    @blindpup10
    Nice thread, I don't have anything to add as of now Will update if I remember any thing.
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2016
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  5. blindpup10

    blindpup10 Platinum IL'ite

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    @ramyaramani- Thanks for sharing your experience.
    @Bubbles- Thanks so much for your compliments, I should improve, though.. Thanks for going in detail and sharing your experience. Please inform more on the cord blood banking. Really like the idea of friends bring over food.
    @viki123- No worries... Please don't hesitate to add.

    I have the next piece ready Things Hospital Teaches.
    However, After seeing some good inputs. I want to give a day to other posters before I start on the next topic.
    That's how my postings will go...after one topic, I will give one day break for other posters to catch up or to add. It will be easier for the new mom's/ yet to be mom's to categorize and read.
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2016
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  6. ramyaramani

    ramyaramani Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Before I delivered I froze items like sambar, rasam, chutney's, vathakuzhambu and idli batter. It was a savior during the days when we were all exhausted.
     
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  7. dc24

    dc24 Gold IL'ite

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    @blindpup10
    Very informative thread for the first time mommies based especially in the US.
    My both kids are born in India...and I have followed the usual MIL...my mother's..aunties' advice...which worked well for me antenatal days as well as for both kids...
    Eg...i used good quality mustard oil during daytime for massaging them since they were 10 days till 3 years of age...
    And pure cow ghee for head massage occasionally....These massages have blessed them with strong and sturdy bones and nice hair on their head.

    Till this day...i give them turmeric milk and they have developed strong immunity against cold..seasonal flu etc..
    While they were 4-5 months till 2 years...i gave them Calcarea Phos....so they never experienced any kind of teething troubles...
    My elder one started walking without support while still 11 months and younger one 10.5 months...
     
  8. dc24

    dc24 Gold IL'ite

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    .....will post here whatever i remember further...since it's been almost 6 years my younger one's been born
     
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  9. blindpup10

    blindpup10 Platinum IL'ite

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    Things Hospital Teaches- Every hospital is different and does things differently. I am sharing my experience what were taught in my hospital.

    1. Hospital teaches you to hold the baby- Always hold the newborn very gently- one hand place behind the babies head and one hand by their butt. Babies neck will strengthen at around 3-4th month. Until then be very gentle and always lift the babies by both hands.

    2. Burp the baby- There are 2-3 methods of burping- you can pick up whichever way is comfortable for you.I have shared a link, which will explain in detail about burping. However, please follow whatever is comfortable for you and your baby.How to burp your baby | BabyCenter

    3. Diaper changing- unfortunately there is only one way- as a new mom and dad this is something both parents will learn and get used to. There was one particular nurse who always asked my DH to change the diaper. (With C-section and loads of medication... I was in haze to do any of these things). The nurse had practically given my DH of nappy changing job and monitoring the time babies poop. I will post the link- Caring for your baby's genitals - BabyCentre.

    4. Swaddling- MY DH and I learned to swaddle in the baby care classes. However, without a baby, both had forgotten techniques. Nurses at the hospital taught us to swaddle. Different nurses swaddle in many different style. My DH and I were amazed how they could swaddle so quickly. After getting baby home it took us a week to learn swaddling and I am a huge fan of swaddling.

    5. Bathing- my hospital bathed my baby on the day he was born. It is highly recommended to give your baby a bath and not get the umbilical cord infected. Being a first-time mommy, I just was cautious and gave my DS a sponge bath for first 20 days. After the cord was dry is when I started to bathe my baby in the tub.


    6. Trimming of newborn nails- My hospital nurses didn’t clip my DS nails, however, they monitored while I did it. Mommy or daddy will be highly encouraged to most of the baby things by yourself. Don’t expect the nurses to completely take care of your babies like they do in India. From the first day of your baby being born- diapering to clipping nails, changing clothes mommy or daddy will have to do it. I found it irritating at the hospital- but I realized its better to do it myself while I am still at the hospital and gain confidence rather than coming home and panicking about little things.

    7. Ask a lot of question to your nurse- There will be a truck load of different nurses. Ask them as many questions as possible- If you will have less help… please share it with them. I got a lot of moral support and lot of suggestion from all these nurses because I was worried and constantly told them I don’t have help.. what/ how/ why to do this… Nobody will volunteer info if you don’t ask. I remember making a big list on my phone for my OB and now for my pediatrician about things- Small details to what if’s/ what not’s, question based on your research/ question based on stories you heard from friends/ family/ sill’s/ MIL’s/ mommy club/ birthing class. ASK AND ASK More questions to know more.

    8. Lactation specialist- will visit you every morning and you may even request to come help you at any point as long as you are at the hospital. Some pediatricians also hire Lactation specialist to help new moms. If your baby doesn’t latch- please don’t assume that if you had your mother nearby- it would make a difference.I have met few new mom’s from my birthing class- latching is entirely up to babies. My SIL also told me her baby didn’t latch easily even though my MIL was right next to her. Baby latching is entirely up to the baby. This has nothing to do with our parents or techniques.

    9. Baby cues-Nurse taught baby cues which were very helpful. If the baby starts to suck their finger- means baby is hungry. If the baby rubs his eyes- means he is sleepy. Babies from 0-3 months cry only 3 reason (if they don’t have colic)- 1. Babies are hungry. 2. Need a diaper change. 3. Babies want to be held.
    I will post a link to recognize baby cues, coz the mentioned cues are the only few which my DS used.
    11 Important Baby Cues

    10. If you had a C-section, the hospital will teach you to take care of the incision. Follow what the nurses teach you.

    11. As I had GD I was told to be on GD diet for 3 months into the Postpartum. As my postpartum diet was almost close to GD diet. I pretty much stuck to it. However- your hospital staff will teach you or send a GD nutritionist to have a talk during your stay.

    12. To do Skin to Skin- As @ramyaramani- mentioned you will be encouraged to do skin to skin. This is a method which was highly encouraged at my hospital, this method helps mother and baby to bond. I insisted my DH do it too after the discharge. My DH felt happy on days to come home and just have the baby on his chest. I will post a link which will talk about its benefits-Kangaroo Care: 9 Benefits of Skin-to-Skin Contact

    13. My DS lost 10 oz in 5 days stay at the hospital and hence I was advised to go for partial formula feeding. To stimulate my breastmilk, nurses taught me to use Medela pump.

    14. My nurses also told me not to fall asleep while feeding the baby. After delivery, I was way too exhausted and I wanted to hold my DS constantly. My nighttime nurse told me to put him in his crib right after I fed him. If I am falling droopy. I should make it a point to leave my DS in the crib. This was a very good advice. I followed it even at home. I even started to watch Netflix or text / kept myself busy while I was nursing/ feeding my DS.
     
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2016
  10. blindpup10

    blindpup10 Platinum IL'ite

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    @dc24- Thanks for your input. I know after few years passed after the initial stage of child bearing and caring.. one forgets about these details.If anything comes to mind... please don't hesitate to share. After all we are all desi's and no matter where we live we tend to follow our methods.
     
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