Awake I wish to settle in India, Asleep I wish to settle in Mid-West USA

I had a job in the mid-west USA for several years. Due to circumstance I had to return to big city. My elders insisted that I do matrimonial correspondence with boys in India because they are very good, high caliber, and would take good care of me.

Fast forward several years, I barely escaped with my life from an abusive marriage that lasted little over a year. At the same time I strongly feel I can find happiness in India with one who really loves me. The ladies here advised me to get someone with a GOOD HEART, must also have job and some money, who can get his own citizenship (no need for wife to sponsor him), or who is very well off in India, and can make things comfortable for me in India. I also asked what is best way to live in Chennai.

For past week or so I have been getting dreams that I am trying for for job in same place that I used to have in Mid-West many years ago. I dream of where I will live, how I will commute to work, all the driving, etc.

But when I am waking, my heart years for the good aspects in India.

When I am awake, I feel I have unfinished business in India, and when I am asleep, I feel I have unfinished business in Mid-West.

I'll have to let the "chips fall where they may"

 

Even now, I get a lump in my throat and my eyes get watery, anxious for a second chance to do matrimonial correspondence with nice boys in India.

My marriage was done hastily because my dear Father needed emergency surgery and was afraid for his life. Lot of rituals were not carried out properly (I didn't realize this at the time because I didn't know Indian marriage traditions). I got severely sick a day after the wedding and had to return home. While waiting for my husband I dreamed that when he arrives we will travel everywhere, including the wonderful places in India.

Alas, we all know the outcome ........

But when I sleep, I don't even think of this, I just think to 10 years ago when I was working and living in the mid-west ....... only God knows what is meant to happen .....