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At loggerheads

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by cheenu123, Jan 18, 2014.

  1. Jan 18, 2014 #1
    cheenu123

    cheenu123 Gold IL'ite

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    ***I am on the verge of a mental breakdown and on the verg of breaking my marriage. My DH is in Europe on an official visit for a month. There are days when I have my mood swings since I am on a hormone therapy and these mood swings are so horrendous that I feel very very temperamental. I expect my DH to be in touch with me as much as possible-only if it is his weekend. But I fail to comprehend that how despite knowing that I am waiting for his call he goes to sleep again. We had an ugly spat due to this issue last weekend and even today, a couple of minutes back, we again had a horrible spit. During these moments, I burst and say things to my DH which shock him. I sent him a long message saying that post marriage I have ruined my body and mind because of you and that I am still haunted by your internet fling (just after a few months of marriage, I saw his slimy chat with a member of a game forum under a disguised name, that was a trying time of our marriage but we moved on however; I am still reminded of that fateful day whenever I fight with my DH).
    Deep inside, I believe that probably I am a kind of person who is totally unfit for marriage. I just can’t take so so many highs and lows every now and then. I have utmost respect for my DH but I am sick and tired of myself. And I have lost the ability of reasoning and logic.
    Please help.
     
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2014
    cheenu123, Jan 18, 2014
    cheenu123, Jan 18, 2014
    #1
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  2. Jan 18, 2014 #2
    saanshre

    saanshre Junior IL'ite

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    hi dear.
    I can understand how it feels like.
    if you want to save ur relation then develop the habit of letting go. Dont make ur husband the be all and end all of ur existence. Men want a little space and if you show ur utter emotional dependence on them , they will care for u less.
    Both of u already get little time to chat, so let the talk be lovely and not quarrelsome so that he wud want to talk to u more and more instead of trying to avoid ur talks for the fear of entering another tiff.
     
    saanshre, Jan 18, 2014
    saanshre, Jan 18, 2014
    #2
    1 person likes this.
  3. Jan 20, 2014 #3
    manu2009

    manu2009 Silver IL'ite

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    dear cheenu,
    a few tips, write down the answers to these questions:
    1. what makes you feel that you are suitable for marriage
    2. can you identify specific traits in you which can be worked upon
    3. does your husband know you are on medication which gives you mood swings
    4. how do you keep yourself busy, do you have a job
    5. are you satisfied with your work/job
    6. what are your expectations in life
    7. what are the qualities of "your ideal spouse"

    after writing the answers to each question do a reality check and allot points on a scale of 1-5. the answers which are close to reality are fine but those which donot match with the actual situation need to be worked upon. start working on yourself and see if there is any change in the situation.

    a positive attitude will help you a lot, so don't be depressed. all will be fine.
     
    manu2009, Jan 20, 2014
    manu2009, Jan 20, 2014
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