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Assets, Liabilities and Questions for Cheeniya

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by ojaantrik, Dec 23, 2013.

  1. ojaantrik

    ojaantrik IL Hall of Fame

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    I have recuperated enough to shun the horizontal posture I had adopted for the last few days. As I write this, I am seated on my swivel chair staring at my desktop. Whatever the merits of a tablet may be, I realized over the last few days that it is no substitute for a desktop. I don't mean tablet as in antibiotics. But tables as in i-pads, nexus and so on.

    The reason I thought I should address you now is that I received an email from the venerable Cheeniya Sir, who, despite all the arrangements I kept ready for his trip to Kolkata, never went beyond issuing threats of his impending arrival. Finally, given my age and the average life expectancy of Indians, I decided to go and confront him on his home ground. I don't know what sort of a wicket he has kept ready for me. He assures me though that it has no hidden trap doors.

    Cheeniya has told me in his email that as I shift from wherever we shall put up for the first few days, to the one he has reserved for me, I will turn into his asset. Not only so, he will acquire the selfsame asset at the cost of the other organization. In other words, Mr. B. M., owner of the establishment, might begin to howl and scream somewhat in the spirit of Rama when he found out that Ravana had run off with his beloved Sita.

    Well Cheeniya, it appears, has decided to treat me as an asset during my Chennai stay. (And for reasons best known to him, he appears to believe that the B.M. chap too considers me an asset. Poor B.M., who is not even aware of the existence of IL! However, let that be.) What bothers me though is the word "asset". I am worried because I know in my capacity as an unknown economist that, except for gold or other precious metals, you simply can't acquire and an asset without incurring a liability. These exceptional assets are sometimes called nugatory, though I am not sure that I am fond of the terminology. Nugatory, normally should mean "useless". How can gold be useless? Of course, my economist's gut feeling tells me that gold is useless unless utilized for productive purposes and in that case it loses its nugatory status.

    Cheeniya, having been a bank official for an indefinite length of time, knows this far better than I do. Endless must have been the number of banks he brought to book for not being able to match their NPA's (non-performing assets) with their liabilities. (No doubt they were all located in West Bengal. I have this strange feeling that Cheeniya grits his teeth somewhat loudly whenever he is reminded of this part of the world.)

    The matter is quite simple should you wish to apply your mind to the matter. When you buy a car, you have a shining asset in your possession. But if you have taken out a loan from a bank to buy the car, the latter is your liability, of equal value. Of course, you could have been careful and purchased the car with your saving. In this case, Cheeniya won't scold you, but he will be unhappy to see a large sum of money being withdrawn from his bank, thereby depriving it the freedom of loaning out your hard earned savings to your neighbour and earn a hefty interest income.

    Cheeniya may contradict me if he wishes, but I have little doubt that the principle I outlined is usually referred to as double entry book-keeping.

    This being what an asset is for an accountant, I have questions for Cheeniya. Has he done the elementary book-keeping exercise before calling oj an asset? If so, what is the liability he is creating for himself?

    Or, is oj by definition nugatory? Not gold, but a termite ridden eyesore?

    Not to speak of the wife, who has asked me a thousand times now if Cheeniya enjoys Bengali sweets. Should I add this to my list of questions?
     
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  2. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sri Ojaantrik:

    Intellectual capital is a liability as one has to live up to the expectations of others. Perhaps, that is the equivalent liability he created for double-entry book-keeping.

    Viswa
     
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  3. ojaantrik

    ojaantrik IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Viswa,

    This was a lovely solution to the problem I raised. On the other hand, it has, like any other piece of wisdom, raised a problem of its own. At least in my mind, and I worried to no end. I suddenly realized that Cheeniya is as much of an asset for me that I am travelling all the way to Chennai to acquire. If so, I too have a liability to keep watch over. I need to live up to the expectations of others. Cheeniya has already won the match as far as this is concerned. So where do I stand?

    I am truly scared.

    oj
     
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  4. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sri Ojaantrik:

    Unfortunately, there is a lot of expectations already among the ILites about these meeting of the stalwarts due to the announcement made through your earlier snippet. Meeting an intellectual like you is as much a challenge as meeting Cheeniya Sir. On top of it, you both (like a hidden magma in the lush green mount Vesuvius) appear very humble yet in a moment's notice explode with your intellectual capital.

    The stock of your company with Cheeniya Sir is already in the hands of the bull even before it is traded. Only solution available now is to write another nice snippet to set the expectations of ILites.

    Viswa
     
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  5. ojaantrik

    ojaantrik IL Hall of Fame

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    Whatever you say Viswa, I am scared. It's Cheeniya's haunt that I am visiting. Quite apart from the spectacular terrain he carries about in the name of a brain, he is familiar not only with every lane in Chennai, but all the bylanes as well. Besides Cheeniya is not suffering from a viral infection as I am. I feel like an ant planning to climb to the top of Mount Fujiyama in his company. Cheeniya will do it with ease, but dragging me along with him will be no easy task. That is where his liability lies.

    oj
     
  6. kelly1966

    kelly1966 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear OJ Kaku..
    I'm not going to get into the debate by declaring you an asset or liability.. for thats for economist and bankers like yourself and Cheeniya sir.. but I would like to extend and invite to you and Kakima.. and Cheeniya sir to visit us in Bangalore.
    see you then
    Kerman
     
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  7. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear OJ da,

    You seem to be looking forward to your visit to Chennai. It is going to be a very exciting time for both of you and for all us readers here too. We are all looking forward to hearing about your time together.

    I second, third and fourth Kelly in inviting you over to Bangalore to spend time with us here. :-D Hope you will give us the opportunity to meet you in person and have a good time together.

    P.S. OJ-da, you should be happy being an asset, thanks to your gender. Imagine what it would be like being an "assette"? May be being a liability would be a better option than that!
     
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  8. GoogleGlass

    GoogleGlass IL Hall of Fame

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    Have a great time OJ with Sri - a proud owner of a limited liability company - Sri doesn't take risks unlimited :)

    If tablets are a problem the best solution is to include Kamalji for company with his syrups :)
     

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