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Asking For A Stranger - Abuse

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by emmypisquemmy, Sep 19, 2018.

  1. emmypisquemmy

    emmypisquemmy New IL'ite

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    I heard through my husband that his friend’s relative came to the US through marriage and is living here as a dependent on her husband’s VISA.

    Her husband physically abuses her but she doesn’t want to tell anyone for fear of having to back to India. After googling it, it seems like this is a much larger and more common issue than I realized.

    She has a good job and is capable of being independent. I’m not sure if they have kids.

    What does someone do in this situation?
     
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  2. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    .
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2018
    Lalithambigai and Sunshine04 like this.
  3. Lalithambigai

    Lalithambigai IL Hall of Fame

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    OP, somehow I am concious of the fact that we who post on this forum are just the tip of the iceberg. There are a lot more who do not post and silently search for solutions for their problems. We are inside the lighthouse that many boats look up to during storms or in general rough weather in their lives. For their benefit (as they will potentially land here seeking help) as well as giving you the benefit of doubt I just wanted to say that if you search on this site alone you will find several threads that have abundantly answered and debated this question. More specifically I would like to draw your attention to look for a particular thread that has all the website addresses and phone numbers also by region or states within USA. At the time I understood they were like tollfree helpline numbers you call and they guide you on your options as well as provide legal help.

    Definitely you will get much better suggestions on this thread as well but meanwhile you can explore the above resource(s) that are already available right here, right now.
     
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  4. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    in some modern art museums, there will be a big art, like 3 feet by 4 feet, with nothing on the canvas. And there'd be people in clutches staring at it for a length of time. May be they are crossing their eyes and see if they can see any debris swimming within their eyeballs to the plain white background of that art. heck... sometimes, there'd be even a blurb about that work (work? what work?) in the museum's guide book. The time I was taken to one such museum, I found that the museum had a store, and sold a small postcard size photo of such an artwork. We never see such things in India.

    [​IMG]

    In the post that I had quoted, i see a "period".... and like a regular numbskull reading an art-critic, wonder what does that mean. Is that a comment to "stop", as in stop following rumours, husband's friend's brother-in-law's 4th cousin twice removed having an issue with something etc... OR... is it about a "period" in an immigrant's suffering which she will overcome, and someday become a famous person ? Mysterious stuff.... modern art is.
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2018
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  5. emmypisquemmy

    emmypisquemmy New IL'ite

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    Lalithambigai, I’m still new to this site. It’s difficult to navigate.

    Did you post a link to the thread? I’m not seeing it.

    Thanks for posting an actual answer instead of a period or abstract art.
     
  6. emmypisquemmy

    emmypisquemmy New IL'ite

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    It may be a rumor but it made me think. That’s why I said “Someone” and not “she”. My question was what does anyone do in that situation?

    I’m not Indian. This is something I’ve never heard of before and I’m the type of person that immediately tries to think of solutions. When I couldn’t think of any, I came here.
     
  7. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    Lalithambigai suggested that you "search" this forum to find the thread that is appropriate.
    Since you are a third party, once removed, you have no information on the alleged abuse. As you had googled and found out, there are many girls from India (, philippines, ukraine, russia, and other countries too) who go to gulf, or western countries, to join their husbands on dependent-visas, and sometimes many suffer the teething problems in getting used to the new life, new person, new pressures/tensions and so on. In severe cases of abuse, the local police gets involved in the matter.

    Here is how you can search the forum: On the top of the page, you will see a search button in a black bar:
    upload_2018-9-19_21-12-31.png

    Click that button, and that will open a page with some questions. Fill in the blanks as much as you can, and click the search button on the bottom of that page. And then you will see a page with two TABS. One for all the information from google, and another for information from just this forum. Play with those two and see what you can read.
     
  8. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    Domestic Abuse, and abuse of women in general is a worldwide problem. It happens in every country, every culture -- some more than others.
    If you are in America, you can find from the local telephone directory the location of women's shelters. These are shelters that give women a temporary refuge when the home is too dangerous, and they would call the police for the shelter seeker. I have relatives who live in America, and once in a while they will have a drive to collect money and clothing (fresh underwear) for the people who had to leave their homes with the clothes they had on. You can call your local shelter, and find out the procedures on how they help. The procedure is more or less the same everywhere. good luck.
     
  9. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    Indeed it’s a mystery!
     
  10. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    When physical abuse is involved on a regular basis, it's better to divorce.
     

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