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Ashamed Of Childish Behavior --- Screwed Things Up

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by ChennaiExpress, Sep 6, 2018.

  1. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    Your dad has best intentions but not giving the best advice or handling properly by making u guilty . It's better that u vent out than to be constantly upset and become mentally turmoil .
     
    Last edited: Sep 7, 2018
  2. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    She is just venting. This forum is for asking for advice.
     
    ChennaiExpress and shravs3 like this.
  3. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    May be she is helpless and hence asking for advices here
     
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  4. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    Hey CE ,
    I think you need some break from all these hungama.
    Can you go on a short vacation for a while. Visit your favourite location or that vacation you always dreamt of.
    Forget all these things and spend time for yourself. Recharge yourself and come back
     
  5. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Each time I think I have caught up with fashion and associated lingo, a new one comes my way. : ) Looked up what lollipop glasses means. : )

    CE, every household has people yelling at each other now and then. You did not screw up. Older people tend to get a little cranky, and your dad has more reason to be miffed than other people his age. Screaming and getting it out is better than keeping it bottled up.

    Dear, you need to be a little more gentle with yourself. Don't judge yourself so harshly.

    =========
    How to cover up puffy eyes and how to get them back to normal in the time it takes to get to work is a skill every woman should master. : )
     
  6. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    I wish I knew a healthy way to vent out.

    I'm upset at a lot of things that didn't work out, and made my life worse. Ain't plays in my mind over and over.

    And I feel envy towards males who get God-like respect simply because they are born male.

    A lowly bottom feeder male gets more respect than your highly educated, beautiful and intelligent female.
     
  7. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    Most I can do is go for mini vacation during office hours.

    At this point I sit at desk during lunch to study for certifications to improve job prospects (and hopefully my life).

    Maybe every one or two weeks I'll eat out with coworkers or go shopping ( at least I can spend my own earnings, imagine being married to a bastard who micromanages your every move!)

    How I would love to vacation in I due for at least a month. Always wanted to visit Dharamsala, other hill stations!
     
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  8. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you for being sympathetic towards my Dad. Some people give him flack because he's no longer able to communicate with others properly (unless it's our mother-tongue)

    Yeah, lollipop glasses are a must-have.


    Hope I can gift my Mother with something (and she keeps it!) just to patch things up and proceed forward.
     
  9. alady2018

    alady2018 Silver IL'ite

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    Oh my dear, @ChennaiExpress. Many many hugs to you.

    Please do not feel guilty. It is impossible to not yell at someone - when you have so much terrible history with them - and in your case it is your mother - with whom one naturally expects the highest level of safety and love.

    It's Friday evening and I suddenly feel so low that a nice person like you (I've only read a few threads of yours - all I know is that you've gone through a lot, but take so much pains to take care of your unwell father.) has to suffer so much. I am sorry to be blunt about this - your mother returning your paintings given to her as gifts - seems like her only intention is to hurt you. It is such an immature act. There seems to be something inherently and deeply wrong with mother's intentions here.

    >Hope I can gift my Mother with something (and she keeps it!) just to patch things up and proceed forward.

    And you dear with such a sweet heart, still want to find something to gift her and make her feel better. Dear, you cannot make things better unless the other person also wants to. Looks like she is just "playing" with you - expecting you to come back to her each time and patch things up.

    I feel like you have to leave this place - to heal yourself, to live your own life. Even if a studio is expensive, can you find 1 room in a 2B room that you can share with a roommate. Even though living with a roomate is not easy (due to issues like shared cooking, keeping common areas clean, etc) - at least it won't be someone who is intentionally trying to make life difficult for you. You need to heal from past troubles and current troubles to start living the life you deserve. And maybe - you can visit dad for an hour every day to ensure his well-being and help him day-to-day chores.
     
  10. shama146

    shama146 Gold IL'ite

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    I also feel moving out will help. If u can't afford studio apartment then you can definitely share with someone. Weekly u can visit your home. This will help you with dealing with the negativity in your house. You can always come back if you don't like the arrangement.

    May God give you strength to deal with your problems. And always remember nothing is for ever. Even your problems has a shelf life. Things will eventually fall in place.
     
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