Arranged Marriage : How many of you are really glad that you had one?

blessed · Dec 14, 2011

We have discussed many topics of love and arranged marriages and how it works, but how many of us are really happy with these arranged marriages, marrying a guy whom we have not met even once, we don't know what is his character ? his mannerism, his likes and dislikes,his tastes, but we get blindly married to him and prepare our selves to be with him till the end of our lives just because our horoscope matched and our parents liked him?:bowdown

Let me start with me... Got married at the age of 20 just when I was still in final year Bsc, my DH's proposal came through some common person and my parents went to their place met him and his family and felt satisfied and came back with his photograph and that's it.. my Dad's decision was final , DH was the only son, his two elder sisters were married and well settled, they own a house and he has a secured job ... that's all they wanted.. they didn't bother to enquire what kind of person he is? Does he have the capacity to keep their daughter happy? may be even if he had any other issues it wouldn't bother them...

Initial days of my marriage was the worst phase in my life, I literally cursed my parents, DH being a complete mamma's boy, indifferent cold inlaws, unfriendly SIL's , nosy relatives of DH.. I cursed my stars for entering in to this family...

Then slowly things began to change,, it took years for my DH to be open with me and trust me completely, have a pretty DD who is more a friend to me, and now I am so happy I am parents found a perfect match for me have a feeling he was the one chosen for me by God himself....

Ladies do share your side of stories]

sushmavja · Dec 14, 2011

dear blessed,
very nice to know you have adjusted well to your husband over a period of time.
coming to mine..i got married at 24.my grandmother wanted to get me married immediately after my engineering but she passed away after my engg..so i told my parents i would like to get married only at 24 and it was only then.my dad has given my own freedom in selecting the guy in the proposals brought to us..it was quite diff for them as my native is Andhra n we stayed in mumbai..i am the eldest girl in both sides of my parents and there are no elders from either sides..so it was tough too. then we met a guy in hyd and everything was ok..they werent interested in horoscopes and all intially..but then when we were fixing up engagement dates suddenly the started this horoscope hungama..and said it wasnt good for both of us to get married..the guy was a mommy boy( i understood this when we just exchanged few smses not more than 15).so i let them go..
later the search intensified and my mama's saying show the bride only if the horoscopes n everything are ok..lesson which they learnt from our prev experience..
then through our relative v got the alliance of DH..and i liked him n my mil instantly..this happ in my mama's place when my parents werent there.my dad asked my opinion n i said yes. then on his insistence my dadwent n met him next week(he worked in mumbai too at tht time) and finally decided. he is very good,loves and cares a lot for me, i have very good PILs too..no complaints from them..
it has been 5+ yrs of married life with a 3 yr old daughter i am very happy on the marriage front though few small misunderstanding are there but then which relationships doesnt hv misunderstanding..the only thing i dont like abt him is he isnt expressive and isnt kind of social..i dont mean he should have a big circle of friends or so..i wish he could talk more to my parents,cousins or even his parents n sisters and ofcourse to me..

riyagan · Dec 14, 2011

i chose him among the ten other proposals (many times i used blame myself that i had chosen the wrong one:bonk in difficult times which is my earlier phase of marriage).. he was charming when he came with his family to 'see' me. i talked to him on phone and chatted with him online then.. i liked his smartness, independent thinking and worldly knowledge. (eligible sperm pacakage u see:coffee but, seriously gals, these are not the only traits one should look for :drowning ..which i got many lessons only after one year exposure to my inlaws. if i had to pick another alliance now i would look for in entirely for something else.:spin

jokes apart, we have grown love for eachother and yea, i think my life definitely worth to spend with this chap.

esbanu · Dec 14, 2011

nice thread...
my dh is very good momma boy.. nowadays only he came my side and listen my words too... fully arranged marriage.. before marriage we both used chatting something but not much seriously or lovely... he was afraid of his mom very much...

rosenav · Dec 15, 2011

I got married at 24, just over 3 mnts time ..it was a rush, dh came we met n got married.

At the time of my wedding I got out of a relationship and was not Intrested in wasting time on another one , so I sd yes to my parents ..that I will marry any person they find suitable for me (so gald I Di that)

It took sum time for us to adjust to each other n our families ...but end of the yr everything fell in Plc , with every year our marriage became more stronger,we are blessed with baby boy , I have a mom as mil who love me like daughter. (touchwood)

The only challenge I faced was with my marriage was my co-sis..she was very vile person , she created a lot of fights between me n dh but thoses only made us strong.... I was just so navie those days , but know I just it back to her.

I'm so glad I had an arranged marriage ...It was the best decession I have ever made I feel so proud when frnds ask so what is your love story.... It always brings a smile

Vennella · Dec 15, 2011

dear blessed,

mine was a love marriage, but i dropped in to say I enjoyed reading your post. felt glad that, in the end you are happy with your family.

DST · Dec 15, 2011

Got married when I was 21 and my DH proposal is the first for me....Horoscope match done by both parents..got married in 3 months...We know/met each other for few times inr 3 years and we never know we'll get married...he's my BIL's friend...and my perfect match and now we are blessed with two lovely kids....Parents did a perfect job for both....Thank god...

Nice to share here....

kuttyangel · Dec 15, 2011

Dear blessed
I read many of your posts.I am happy that you are HAPPY NOW
mine is an arranged marriage.Initially i too was cursing my stars for have married a momma s boy. My in laws are good,but many times they pretend to be good.so still i m unable to differentiate the love they are showing on me is true or not.
Things started changing after an year.my dh started sharing all things with me.He loves me a lot.Our dear DS is our world.Now i am the HAPPIEST WIFE and HAPPIEST MOTHER on this earth.
kutty.

blessed · Dec 15, 2011

sushmavja said: ↑

dear blessed,

my dad asked my opinion n i said yes. then on his insistence my dadwent n met him next week(he worked in mumbai too at tht time) and finally decided. he is very good,loves and cares a lot for me, i have very good PILs too..no complaints from them..
it has been 5+ yrs of married life with a 3 yr old daughter i am very happy on the marriage front though few small misunderstanding are there but then which relationships doesnt hv misunderstanding..the only thing i dont like abt him is he isnt expressive and isnt kind of social..i dont mean he should have a big circle of friends or so..i wish he could talk more to my parents,cousins or even his parents n sisters and ofcourse to me..
Click to expand...

Glad that your Dad asked and respected your opinion and you are very happy with your marriage.

blessed · Dec 15, 2011

riyagan said: ↑

i chose him among the ten other proposals (many times i used blame myself that i had chosen the wrong one:bonk in difficult times which is my earlier phase of marriage).. he was charming when he came with his family to 'see' me. i talked to him on phone and chatted with him online then.. i liked his smartness, independent thinking and worldly knowledge. (eligible sperm pacakage u see:coffee but, seriously gals, these are not the only traits one should look for :drowning ..which i got many lessons only after one year exposure to my inlaws. if i had to pick another alliance now i would look for in entirely for something else.:spin

jokes apart, we have grown love for eachother and yea, i think my life definitely worth to spend with this chap.
Click to expand...

Loved your sense of humour yeah that's what I mean over the years we really feel this marriage is worth while.