Are we on the right path?

Dear Sri Vidya,

First of all, what is your problem? You have been a very good contributor during all these days, but suddenly what has happened to you? Not only to my thread, but to other threads as well.. You are just bashing around and forcing the posters to accept you in such a way by making them accept their faults. What it is?

Why do I want to ask for apology? I dont understand????

First of all, I didnt ask for a quick remedy for my marital issues, it was all about a particular problem that I faced after having learnt that my servant wont come for work from the next day. I posted here to get remedies on how to keep the kid safely as my mom needs a break... And I clarified the new posters that my husband is not a perfect one to look after the kid, hence I described the water issue as an example. Otherwise people will ask why cant you leave the kid with your husband till you find a servant? I didnt want to allow this thread to a different direction as I needed quick remedy...

I found a remedy as per one poster as i found a new servant without looking so much about her background or experience and let her learn with my mom for a few weeks before she handle the kid independently. I also considered other posts they suggested me to look for day cares for young kids, I am almost set with it.

Practically I am well settled along with my problem... I know my husband is hopeless... I know it takes time to see a change in him, and I know that I dont want to leave him either. So, I started letting him live on his own till he changes, but I make sure that his activities/talks never affect my routine. I kind of became more stronger, and controlled my emotions.

I have never, and will never ask for quick remedies for my marital issues... I know it is a mere waste even to think of... and I have no time to change my husband, where my in laws are actively planing and directing him in a negative way. I dont mind... I made sure that my belongings are safe, my kid is safe and my husband knows how far I will go if he plays another drama with me. So, I dont mind whatever the drama played by them, after all it is finally me, who allow them to use my life or not...

But since I live with him, I know i will face minor issues like "no domestic help,, no emergency help etc..etc... then posting in a online forum is the only way for me to vent out... And sometimes their soothing words calms me down, and hence i can concentrate on my works.

There is no point in digging my past, complaining about me and making me write my story and then judging me as a selfish person... Even some members have started falling for my husband and feeling sad for him... What is the point? Are you really helping the OP here?

Ya please.. Just chill out... I can see that you are disturbed, hence your posts are... Sorry for that... Hope things will get back to normal soon

Dont complain again... Dont name me as a looser... Just because I didnt here you or follow your advice doesnt mean I am a loser... Nope...
I have a bad marriage, I have gone through so much marital and postpartum issues... I have loosen so much, but not my life... I am still alive.. I fight back on my own and started settling things straight. I could see the place where I was standing alone as a looser, but now I have claimed a lot from that point...

Having a better husband, and less problematic in laws is not a success.. According to me, I have succeeded a lottttttttttttttttttttt than any other average women in this forum. I am really proud of it, and such self confidence only made me face all this.

Count on me, in nearly 2 years, I will control everything in my life and lead a more happier life with my spouse... Because I have succeeded many things from ground zero, and there is still a few mile to go to see the light... I will definitely go there.

I didnt want to prolong this discussion either... But in my case, I had a live in relationship with this man for 4 years before marriage, and I was not a teenager to close my eyes while in love. I knew that he was the perfect guy for my future, hence married. Then I waited for one more year to set our finance and other matters. During this we had conflicts, but I thought all is die to the distanced relationship... It was almost 5 plus years that we were together and we never thought of separation during that, all though there were some fights (but who has zero argument/fights in their lives). I thought it is high time to get pregnant... Coz fixing marital problems alone doesnt help you to have a kid.. Your health factors and career should be also considered.
I decided based on everything, yet didint follow my husband's irresponsible advises. I knew he is manipulated, and I knew I can control him with time. I just let him sit with me and made him understand my points before I conceived. He agreed, and he was the one who jumped to the sky after knowing that I am pregnant, but as usual he changed. Reason being my in laws, that's a diff story.

But just because my MIL doesnt want a baby, and she manipulates my husband who has already agreed this with me, I can not abort my baby... Or I cant wait for few more years to have one even after knowing my health and other factors.

Down the line, I have a baby now... a career now, and my husband also stays with me (who refused to be with me once).. After a few years, things will fall in peace and we will enjoy a family... Yeah.. I tool the risk, but there is no gain if there is no risk...

I know what I am doing???? I didnt ask your help to change my life here.. Ok.. I asked quick remedy for such minor issues... Why do you bother about my kid?

 

Hi Parvathy

This is what I wanted to make sure!!!

 

Hi ganaraya

Well, finally the cuttle fish has become my regular diet... With one of the best remedy, I made sure I eat cuttle fish without any problems... See...If it hurts at times, doesnt mean it is not for you... You have to fight and then make sure you get it... This applies for marriage as well..

 

Dear JAG

Thanks for your help,, Can you please stop diverting this thread just because of personal problems? That will be a great help....
But please refrain from diverting this thread...

Moderators: Sorry for being so harsh... I just cant take this anymore.... Remove this post if it is not right.

 

Deffny dear... Thanks for the words... These are simple issues dear.. I have gone through so much... Such online attacks can not make me a fool.

This forum had so many good members... I still remember the strong but soothing suggestions that DrPreethis, Asuitablegirl and vidkarthik have given to me... They were like my mentors who boosted my self esteem and powered my confidence level when I was totally down....But now the forum is loosing it's intention, rather it has become like a one on one attacking place, where women ganged up and bashing someone who doesnt listen to them...Not right na?