Another Lakshmi, Another Pathetic Story. I Can’t Judge, Can You?

There is quite a lot, Prathi!

If Lakhsmi turns the other way on her husband's affair because he gets money on the side and does not trouble her for sex, then tell me what is there between Lakshmi and Rajan to continue as husband and wife? Agreed, the children are there. And Lakshmi or Rajan or both should take their welfare into account. But my poser is should they continue with the sham of their marriage any further? Situations like this can happen only in India. It's only here that the couple would decide that their marriage is over for all practical purposes and continue with the sham of their marriage only for the sake of their children.
My friend told me that the divorce rates in India is the lowest in the world. Agreed. But there are more divorceable marriages in India than there are divorced marriages in the US. Here the marriage is dead long back; only the funeral is deferred. Marriage is kept 'in state' in the same manner as the dead bodies of VIPs are kept for homage.
Even now I am not judging Lakshmi or for that matter Rajan. I do not have the heart to condemn either of them. I am totally concerned with the marriage being turned into a total farce.
Isn't that serious?
varalotti

 

A Snippet For A Snippet

Ambika, true to the Babylonian law of 'an eye for an eye' and 'a tooth for a tooth' you have given 'a snippet for a snippet.' Your comments and quotes are very insightful and made a very interesting reading. For a while it diverted me from Lakshmi.
My central point contained in the lines that provoked you is this - there are good marriages and bad marriages in India, the US like any where in the world. But it's only in India that we cling to the form of marriage long after the substance is dead. Is it not hypocrisy?
In you DH middle you gave a very sensible advice to your maid's daughter. No it was not just a sensible advice but also a clear moral support before taking the decision of her life. But in the case of Lakshmi's there are conventional people around who advise her or him to hold on whatever may be the state of marriage. When I said those provocative words I only meant that.
Whatever it may be, Madam, I am very happy that it has provoked a brilliant passage from the poetess.
good job.
I would like to take Lakshmi as the focal point to discuss some crucial problems concerning women. In fact I had a totally different one in mind for this snippet, which actually concerns more with Vishnu than with Lakshmi. But before I could post that my friend told me about this real-life problem so I posted that to elicit the opinion of women the world over.
regards,
sridhar

 

Welcome Pritha!

Your empathy for Lakshmi shows in your reply. For Lakshmi it's a double-bind situation, a situation which can aptly be described as damned if you do and damned if you dont. Lakshmi agreeing to condone her husband's affair might have been the practical solution. But that solution kills what little remains of their marriage. If two people who hate each other, if two people between whom there is no relationship whatsoever agree to cohabit under the same roof for economic reasons, then could there be a greater hell than their lives? We normally place an undue importance on security - sustenance of the comfort level we are used to all our lives. Well the secret of life is if we are ready to risk that we shall reach new levels and above all, we will start living, for a change.
Welcome to Indusladies, Pritha. My daughter's name is Preethi. So the moment I saw your name I drafted this reply. all the best.
sridahr

 

Dear Kamal,
thanks a lot.
Women always have an eye for reality and most decisions taken by them are highly practical. Had she fought with her husband her children would have suffered. And had she agreed to have sexual relationship with him, that would have been a disaster to both.
thanks once again, Kamal.
love,

 

Dear Kamal,
You are digging out old graves, but are kindling fond memories of mine. And at this point I should also thank Chithra for the indexing work. That's why I have named my index as CVs index and carry it in my signature.

As Paulo Coelho would love to say, "The Devil is in the detail". Not being able to keep my eyes off the details is an occupational hazard for me.

Now let's talk about our meeting. Though I don't drink I love to see people drinking. A few years back I had a friend and a client was several years older than me. Whenever he wanted to drink he would come to my place, pick me and we'll go to our club.
He told me that I was the first teetotaler who was a good drinks-buddy. Hearing about you I had decided to meet you sometime in the evening with drinks by your side and our chatting about all the good times.
Looking forward to that day, my friend.
love,