Anger management!

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by sudhavnarasimhan, Apr 13, 2006.

  1. sudhavnarasimhan

    sudhavnarasimhan Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,310
    Likes Received:
    15
    Trophy Points:
    70
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi everyone...
    another one of those fwds....This is long, but classic. Enjoy. ......

    ANGER MANAGEMENT

    When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

    I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."

    I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn
    Carter?"

    Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f**in
    number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

    When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.

    Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.

    When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic "asshole
    calling" would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from Verizon. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"

    He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"

    One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, which included his phone number, so I wrote down the number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial) I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
    "Yes, it is", he said.
    "Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.
    "Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, in Vaucluse. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."

    "What's your name?" I asked.

    "My name is Don Hansen," he said.

    "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

    "I'm home every evening after five."

    "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

    "Yes?"

    "Don, you're an asshole!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1.

    "Hello."

    "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)

    "Are you still there?" he asked.

    "Yeah," I said.

    "Stop calling me," he screamed.

    "Make me," I said.

    "Who are you?" he asked.

    "My name is Don Hansen."

    "Yeah? Where do you live?"

    "Asshole, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front."

    He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don And you had better start
    saying your prayers."

    I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up.

    Then I called Asshole #2. "Hello?" he said.

    "Hello, asshole," I said.

    He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

    "You'll what?" I said.

    "I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.

    I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

    Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse.

    I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray. I got there just in time to watch two Assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of the arriving six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.

    NOW I feel much better.
    Anger management really works.


    Now don't get angry on me please!:p


     
    Loading...

  2. Vidya24

    Vidya24 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,643
    Likes Received:
    145
    Trophy Points:
    155
    Gender:
    Female
    really good

    hi Sudha,

    That was great. Don't get mad, get even.

    cheers
    VR
     
  3. meenu

    meenu Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    627
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
    how funny

    Dear Sudha,
    It is a very interesting light way of giving vent to ones anger.Ii had a good laugh.Thank you
    meenu
     
  4. varalotti

    varalotti Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    9,047
    Likes Received:
    1,192
    Trophy Points:
    340
    Gender:
    Male
    A Good One, Sudha

    That was a really good, creative one. Reads like a Fredrick Forsyth short story. Who knows I may plagiarise this into a good short story.
    sridhar
     
  5. vidhyalakshmid

    vidhyalakshmid Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,894
    Likes Received:
    650
    Trophy Points:
    215
    Gender:
    Female
    Nice one

    Hi,
    That was a nice one and I enjoyed it. Keep posting.:clap
     
  6. friends2b

    friends2b New IL'ite

    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    That was fun....I enjoyed it so much! Thats the good way to bring an evil out of oneself...hahahaha...:lol:
     
  7. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    4,124
    Likes Received:
    193
    Trophy Points:
    153
    Gender:
    Female
    nice piece....

    sudha u tookme away for a few moments...that was a really grt forward all need this to laugh.......:clap regards sunkan
     
  8. Danishi

    Danishi New IL'ite

    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    lolz.....had a good laugh...truely enjoyed.
     

Share This Page