An open letter from a Most Yeligible Bachellar from the South ! Yenjoy :-.>)

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Chilbuli Imli, Feb 22, 2006.

  1. Chilbuli Imli

    Chilbuli Imli Senior IL'ite

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    Folks ,
    This is a "fresh of the press " new one for me. Hope you yenjoy it. I did. This is a actual transliteration.






    Madam:

    I am an olden young uncle living only with myself in Bangaloru. Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely.

    I am a soiled son from inside Karnataka. I am nice and big, six foot tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket and I am a good batter a nd I am fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls
    that bounce a lot.


    I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am jolly. I am gay.

    Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. I am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I am.

    I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the gym and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the gym.

    I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you. I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday. That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things into your hand.

    If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day. In fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the gym.

    If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet and looking up with lots of hope. I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.

    Expecting soon,



    Yours and only yours</pre>

    Son of the soil son </pre> Shekhar T.

    Chennai
     
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  2. Sharada

    Sharada Senior IL'ite

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    kya letter hai!

    Perhaps Shekhar is an innocent man and doesn't know the complexities and nuances of the language! But after reading this one's laugh buttons are pressed.
    Good fun.
    Sharada
     
  3. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I laughed & laughed & laughed.... can't stop !

    Dear C B I ,
    However naive the person was, every word written with the " ulta" meaning made very enjoyable reading !
    Thanks for posting this.
    Love,
    Chithra.
     
  4. varalotti

    varalotti Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I could not stop laughing!

    Dear CBI,
    Almost every word and every sentence had more than one meaning - a harmless one on the surface and an uproariously humourous one deeper. I could not stop laughing, CBI. Good piece.
    sridhar
     

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