An Extra Marital Affair

A very good friend of mine recently confided in me that her husband was having an EMA. they are regular people - well educated and till now the normal middle class people who have worked their way up in life.

Was wondering about what makes a man cheat on his wife after more than a decade and half of marriage with two kids - a brand new teen and a preteen.

Would like experienced ladies/gentlemen to pour in their thoughts as am truly baffled. i am not judging anybody or want a solution or talk of the morality of it. just want to know the working of the man's brain behind it.

To hear a dear friend in pain is heart wrenching in the least. would not want to discuss the friends story any further as it is a general discussion. yes i have heard of such things happen in the past to people. but when they happen to people you truly care about, somehow perspectives change.

Thank you.

 

Thankyou @Shreema86 . you have given a good perspective. what baffled me was why would a man risk everything in his comfortable secure life for a fling? yes they had their disagreements but they were normal issues.

Yes this craving for an "adventure" kind of explains it. my female mind could not grasp it. thanks.

 

@rajatsingh i wanted to know why a man would risk his family, reputation and even career if there were no major problems in his life. i neither meant EMAs are a man's prerogative or that all men indulge in it. far from it. some of the best friends i have had in life have been men.

fact is that both sexes indulge in it. i know of both men and women who have done it. but they were acquaintences, people whom i knew vaguely. this gentleman was the first person who did it for no apparent reason and i know him, wife and kids rather well.

Being a woman, i understand a woman's perspective in straying, here i wanted the male perspective. thats all. i have male friends but never discussed EMAs with them and right now do not want to.

EMAs are not very common, both in males and females and i understand that. this lady is very dear to me so her pain hit me rather hard. apologies if i was not able to articulate my question well.

 

OMG what an ugly experience for your friend. sympathize with her. i would be unable to trust men after this. somehow i have been blessed with some friends who are great guys - at least with me. i have had very few such experiences even though i remained single for a very long time.

My understanding of life is that both men and women find many partners in life. i married my husband. that does not mean i will never find a better guy than him in the future. but that i am faithful to him is a test of my character and how much faith i have in my marital vows. this holds true for both men and women.

Thank you for understanding my question and sharing your views.