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An Avalanche Of Apples!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by meenasankaran, Oct 22, 2018.

  1. meenasankaran

    meenasankaran Platinum IL'ite

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    Tut tut, click click, tut tut tut, click, click, click...

    That was me typing furiously all this week looking up recipes involving apples. After making a few pitchers of fresh apple juice, a pot of apple rasam and a bottle of spicy apple pickle, I ran out of ideas but sadly, not apples.

    Around this time every year, most Indian homes experience an avalanche of fruits. It’s Navarathri season which roughly translates to fun, comradery and an unholy amount of fruits for most people. It is the season when Indian women systematically empty the local stores of all produce and buy fruits by the truckloads. Interestingly, they will not eat a single fruit from that purchase. Say, a woman buys 100 apples. She will distribute all of it to her friends who visit her golu giving the illusion of an empty fruit basket.

    Forgive me for this quick detour. I have only recently started to appreciate how math is interwoven in our everyday lives so here is a brain-teaser for you. If I bought 100 fruits and distributed 2 fruits per person, how many friends visited my golu? It is such a rush of power to know I can make my own word problems.

    Getting back to the fruit distribution conundrum, now that the woman had given away all her fruits, where do you think she was headed next? To her friends’ homes, naturally. How else will her friends get rid of the mountain of fruits in their homes? Odd? Yes, but also totally fair.

    This is my story every Navarathri season too. At the end of Saraswathi pooja last week, I was back to being in possession of over 100 fruits. If you think, this is the sum of all my problems (oh wow Meena) you have never been a performing arts teacher on Vijayadasami day.

    I love Vijayadasami. It is the one day when my students lose the strained, constipated smiles and seem genuinely happy to see me. I get plenty of warm smiles that day without even a bribe. To me, it is the best gift ever but the parents of my students are not so easily impressed. They are convinced that nothing short of multiple bags of apples, oranges, bananas, pears and clementine will convey their love effectively to me. While I truly appreciate the sentiment, I do wish they will take pity on me and throttle back their love just a bit.

    When my doctor advised me to include fiber in my diet last year, I don’t think she meant this much. Any more fiber and I will have the shiniest colon this side of the States.

    Last night, I dreamed that I was being held hostage by a giant red apple who was holding a banana to my head while an orange was shoving a clementine down my throat. What a nightmare!

    After consuming apples in all possible forms for a few days, I did what any teacher worth her salt would do. I threatened my students with extra homework unless they each took a bag of fruits home. A little harsh, I agree, but it worked. The mountain has now shriveled down to a manageable mound. Hallelujah!
     
    Last edited: Oct 22, 2018
    Cheeniya, kaniths, Gauri03 and 7 others like this.
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  2. HazelPup

    HazelPup Platinum IL'ite

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    Enjoyed reading. Nice write-up.

    Is there a food pantry near your area. Should be right ? No food pantry accepts perishables but if you contact the warehouse directly and talk to them ahead of expected fruits that could be donated they could suggest or can let their people know about excess availablity of fruit that can be donated to the needy. Another alternative is to find a soup kitchen or homeless shelter and talk to those people ahead and I am sure they would graciously accept lots of apple pies or even just fruits. There are so many underfunded shelters and/or soup Kitchens. Just a small suggestion. Hope u don’t mind.
     
    Last edited: Oct 22, 2018
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  3. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Meena,

    Your math problem is easier than the ones I used to suffer with, when I was a student. Two trains left the stations which are 200 KMs apart from each other. One passenger train is traveling at an average speed of 50 KMs per hour and an express train is traveling at an average speed of 70 KMs per hour. At what point, these two trains will cross each other?

    Hahaha. If a teacher who distributes healthy fiber food were to be rewarded, you will get the national best teacher award hands down. If I were you, I would compost them and use them as fertilizer to all my plants rather than distributing to my students. The students may have sensitive stomach and the school may get sued. It is worse than giving biscuits to the fellow passengers in the Indian Railway.

    Alternatively, arrange the fruits outside home so that the squirrels can come and eat them. Watching them eat the fruits could be a nice experience.

    Unless food well prepared under my careful scrutiny, I don't distribute anything to anyone even if it is to a homeless shelter.

    Viswa
     
    Last edited: Oct 22, 2018
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  4. meenasankaran

    meenasankaran Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks @HazelPup . We donated a big box of fruits to the shelter and took some to the local temple in an attempt to feed the cows there. Imagine my surprise when the cows turned up their noses and walked away from the fruits. Upon inquiring, I found out that many folks had already brought excess fruits to the temple and fed the cows. When the cows take a stand against apples, you know that something is wrong with the situation. :biggrin:
     
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  5. HazelPup

    HazelPup Platinum IL'ite

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    and what if racoons or skunks visit ?
     
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  6. HazelPup

    HazelPup Platinum IL'ite

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    oh god its scary ... maybe red color. We dont want jallikattu for Halloween
     
  7. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    @HazelPup, Hahaha, Perhaps, she should put a sign board, "Only squirrels are welcome". Seriously, I didn't think of it and our neighbors will blame me forever if I do that. You are right and it is not an option I should have suggested.
     
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  8. kkrish

    kkrish IL Hall of Fame

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    :clapclap::clapclap::clapclap::clap2::clap2::clap2:
    Wow Meena! You are a genius!
    Creating your own math problem! Vareh - vah!
    Just in time too!
    'Tis the season for doling out Nobel prizes. Where is that Nobel for noble Meena the mathematician?!!

    Tell me about the fruits! Same case here. I was thinking of giving the child a fruit back every time the Sa, Pa, and Sa is sung in F instead of G sharp! What do you think? Let us have a "Performing Arts Teachers Conference for Handling Vijayadasami Fruits" and brainstorm! ( ...and see that no fruit features in the conference meals!)

    Let us also add flowers to the conference agenda.
    My pooja area resembles a chrysanthamum garden with so many flower pots. I have to find a spot in the garden where all the previous years mums are tightly packed. At this rate I need a new home with large garden space.

    Back to back humor posts from you is such a treat for me Meena! Keep 'em coming. Waiting for Halloween at Meena's next.
     
    Last edited: Oct 23, 2018
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  9. Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    With five fruit trees in my backyard that bestow their abundance on me annually, some biannually (God bless California!), I can commiserate with your plight Meena. At first they were parceled off to friends and colleagues. When my social circle collectively took to low carb, low sugar diets, the message was received loud and clear. I then started offering them to the domestic help. After weeks of persistently plying the cleaners and gardeners with my fructose laden generosity, it came as no surprise when they switched their timings to weekdays, when they are assured of my absence. After exhausting all avenues of ridding myself of the sweet stuff, I decided to adopt a scheme similar to the one in the picture. I set a box on the front lawn with bags and a sign saying free organic fruit. My neighbors aren't complaining so far!

    fruit.jpg
     
  10. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    But why organic fruits in plastic bags?
     
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