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Am Married, Other Guy Likes Me A Lot,please Help!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Belovedsister, Jan 12, 2017.

  1. Madhumagie

    Madhumagie Silver IL'ite

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    HI NONYA

    Y DONT U START POST ABOUT UR WORD PUZZLE :grin::sunglasses::tearsofjoy:
    I SHALL MAKE TIME TO REPLY FOR SUCH FUNNY POSTS
     
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  2. Itshightime

    Itshightime Bronze IL'ite

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    Why are you doing this? Block his number immediately. You will only throw away your good married life by entertaining that person. Who doesn't like being praised? But getting praised from a legitimate source is preferable. That guy is a pervert. It is quite clear that he wants to have physical relation with you and he is only testing the waters by throwing in random so-called "romantic things." He is checking for your responses. Once he feels that you are comfortable with the idea, he will move to the next step.

    Don't play with the fire.
     
  3. Belovedsister

    Belovedsister Bronze IL'ite

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    Hey Nonya
    He has never admired me, if i ask then he says yes you look beautiful and takes away his attention.This hurts me. He has never admired the way this guy did may be thats the reason i continued chatting with him (Now Blocked!)
     
  4. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    "You don't keep runnin' after you catch the bus." is an old old saying.

    When arranged marriages can get people on the bus without having to run at all, they could afford to relax. The Bus may either make the ride interesting all along the way, until the rider is too darn old to get off and run after another bus route, or the bus may choose to offer free rides to others.

    As many others had pointed out, for all things that are fun, there are consequences. Consider the worst consequence that you can think of (or what others had suggested might happen if you continue on with the texting), and imagine how you can manage that. If you can manage that, well... who could say what is good for you , other than yourself.

    Famous quote from a girl:
    [​IMG] “Flirting is a woman’s trade, one must keep in practice.”
    Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre
     
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  5. Belovedsister

    Belovedsister Bronze IL'ite

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    You mean to say i should keep on flirting DH...? To be honest i have forgiven my DH for his cheating but cant able to give him that place in my heart where he was earlier (b4 cheating). Bcoz if i give him that place again and if he cheats again i cant be able to withstand the pain, so now i have kept minimum emotional bond from him, but i dont show it to DH though! So if he cheats again (God forbid) it wont affect me much!

    But deep inside i crave for love! i feel that am living an artificial life! Dont understand what to do!
     
  6. Vru

    Vru New IL'ite

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    Dear OP I have read your post and following it. I have not read your earlier post about your husbands cheating.
    I agree with most of IL ites advice to you.
    Instead of focussing on the feelings that arise in you when this person gives you attention etc you should focus on making your marraige happier.Find out or rather have a thorough think about what might be lacking in ur married life that u r trying to seek elsewhere?
    Probably you have still not forgiven your husband for his cheating?
    Two relationship s ( well this is a relationship of mind with this person and your marriage) can't go hand in hand.
    It will rob you off your mental well being and peace of mind , then you may start feeling guilty, later it takes away your self esteem and make you depressive.
    If this happens you are doomed! God forbid if worse happens him taking advantage of you physically emotionally blackmail or if your husband accuses you of cheating later you are doomed or your plight will be unimaginable!!
    Please think of your wellbeing and your daughters. Some men are poor in expressing their feelings. Give your husband and your marraige a wholehearted acceptance and focus on it and be happy.
    You have done well by blocking him.Now slowly try blocking h in your mind heart and life.
    My best wishes to you!!
     
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  7. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    All the people who recommend that you stay within your marriage are thinking that your husband is the one providing for the home, the food, the clothing, the security-of-life and even your mobile. If this is not true, and you are able to pay for all these by yourself, you are not dependent on your husband for a living, then the situation is very different.

    Economic dependence on a husband is real suffering for crores of women, and mothers. Even a devoted, loving, good husband can be irritable, when the wife is dependent on him. She needs to be either wealthy or attempt to make some money. In modern times, going to work somewhere outside the house, is the normal way to make a living. If a wife is unwilling or unable to do this, and is confined to a home-life, she cannot do much else but forgive a cheating husband. She does not have other choices.

    However, she can develop a positive view of things if she balances good things and bad things in her life. For example,
    1. My husband has cheated on me. But Susheela's husband is also beating her every day. [Comparison with others who are much worse off than you]
    2. My husband may still be cheating on me, but I don't know if he does. But I am thankful I do not have any diseases. [looking at the bright side of things]
    3. I have a terrible husband. However, I suspect I am sharing him with 3 others. So I only have 25% of a terrible husband, whereas I used to have a 100% of a terrible one. Hooray !![A smaller misfortune is better than a huge one]
    4. I have the best husband a girl could ever have, but he is staying with Prema two nights a week. I think Prema is a good woman, and deserves at least a fraction of a good man. [Share your good fortune with other good people like you]

    etc.. etc..

    No matter what happens, there is a positive in it. Silver-lining in a cloud, is what they say. While you are thinking only positive thoughts on everything, you need to train yourself in someway to prepare to work and earn a living. when you are economically independent, you will not say " Dont understand what to do!". Until then, you will be among the crores of women who are saying "i feel that am living an artificial life!"

    Once you are independent, you can text all you want. Until then, as the IL members say "be safe, rather than be sorry".
     
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