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Am Married, Other Guy Likes Me A Lot,please Help!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Belovedsister, Jan 12, 2017.

  1. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Let me phrase it this way...

    You are married, the other guy likes you a lot. As much as he likes, you too like him. You reciprocate to what he says for you.
    If he is mad at you, then it seems you are equally mad at him.

    It is a two way journey. One can't keep on continuing this madness, when the other is not interested.
    It seems you are interested in him, you are attracted towards him, and you have fallen for him.
    He in return uses your madness over him, and tries his best to advance further.

    Today he asks you to meet in a temple, tomorrow may be in a hotel.
    Today he speaks with you about a dream kiss, and tomorrow may be a real kiss.

    The way he advances is mesmerizing. In fact, a teen girl would have figured out what is he doing.
    But you, as a married woman with a child failed to understand what he is upto. Or you are pretending to be that innocent, so that you can escape the blames.

    Dear... I did not read your older posts. But apparently, you have some marital problems.
    But this is not the way to handle it. Although I understand you must be deprived from physical and emotional needs in your marriage, and which are utmost priorities to keep a marriage alive.
    A starving person would not think about morals and manners when he/she is offered some food. He/she would not even think about the quality of the food or its side effects.
    But, eating a poisonous food for hunger is not right.
     
  2. Desiindian

    Desiindian Silver IL'ite

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    OP, Sorry, This may sound rude. This is what I felt reading this thread and your previous thread. This thread a troll.
    You had gone to the extent of commiting suicide, when you got your husband cheating with a married women. You knew the pain of cheating. Now, you write this thread. No women would do the same mistake knowing the depth of pain and consequences. Are you trying to findout what a women should have done in such situation?
    Is the man you mentioned in this thread is your husband, and the YOU Is that married women?
    Mistakes lies in both person.
     
    Belovedsister and sbonigala like this.
  3. Chocolatey

    Chocolatey Gold IL'ite

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    I too feel this person is a troll. In the previous thread the OP mentioned that she has a son. Now in this thread she mentioned that she has a daughter.
     
    rachaputi, bruised234 and sbonigala like this.
  4. generic

    generic Gold IL'ite

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    OP, ur situation reminds me of the Hindi movie "murder".. Nothing good comes out of maintaining interactions with such a person..first of all cut of contact, inform your husband about this person and move on...
    Op, deep down you are bored with your life and probably ire getting a thrill out of the fact that someone has the hots for you...the problems you have with your marriage have dared you to talk to this guy..inspite of his lack of morals
     
    nakshatra1 and KashmirFlower like this.
  5. KashmirFlower

    KashmirFlower IL Hall of Fame

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    I too remembered that movie exactly, and it shows reality how things start as high and how one loses respect and peace and it can go far as thinking of killing some one.
     
    nakshatra1 and generic like this.
  6. bruised234

    bruised234 Gold IL'ite

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    Good catch, I felt it too. Anyone who has undergone whatever OP posted will be so down, she looks upbeat.
     
  7. Akanksha1982

    Akanksha1982 IL Hall of Fame

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    OP, what is that you want to do?
    If you want this to end, then,
    1. You need to change your number. Blocking his number is not enough. He will contact you from different number.
    2. You need to focus on your daughter.
    3. You need to find a job/activity to divert your attention.
    4. You need to forget what he said. It is a clear poor trap, testing your intelligence. I don't believe that he has not recorded your conversation or stored your chats. You read of some many cases in the news paper. Even if you meet him at the temple, he could have someone recording your meeting.

    If you want to continue with this, then,
    1. Ask him to talk to his parents and is he and his parents ready for the marriage.
    2. Inform your husband and go through the divorce procedure. You may lose custody of your daughter
    3. Stop all communication with him until the divorce happens. Then proceed with marriage.
    If you want to have a fling with him, then,
    1. Understand the risk involved. Your conversation/interaction would have been recorded
    2. The conversation/interaction could be used to further blackmail you.
    3. You will lose custody of your daughter
    4. Your marriage will end up in a divorce.

    So it all depends on what you want to do since what you have done so far is difficult for any of us to understand.
     
  8. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    Hope you take the right decision.What's your decision after reading all these advices OP??
     
  9. rachaputi

    rachaputi Platinum IL'ite

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    Be an angel only for one
    What if again another guy come and say same? Being a human would you pamper him too?

    But one thing for sure, if he comes to know all these your husband realize that he deserves better, and would find his angel
     
    nakshatra1 and NeetaR like this.
  10. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    :) This is a good hint. Whichever one that the OP does not have, she should have one right away. More often than not, such a thing happens in real life. X and Y are married. Z comes and attempts to seduce one of them, but for various reasons could not get through to the "end". In the meantime, passions are tweaked up in the marital household of X & Y, and one thing leads to another.....etc...
    OK.. I confess. I like happy endings. :kissing: A baby-bump is also a surefire way to chill out an interloper.
     

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