Am I wrong or DH?

flowerlady · Dec 5, 2011

tanu khurana said: ↑

Thanks friends for quick reply......... i got the point and understand it well..... i will take care of the things you all told me... I was amazed to tell you they are his best buddies.....or i can call best friends........They just make use of him and he never got it....If i try to make him realize its all waste...They use his money, cars, everything they ask for he just give them...If i try to tell him family values more he never got it........He was telling me go out of station for a day with them and i said NO i just wanna go with family so he said OK i will go u stay at home politely..........:bonk
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Well its clear that they are your DHs friends and not yours.
Do join in the trip, you will get to know them better and they will have to nice to you too.
If you isolate yourself from your DHs friends you will never know what is going on. This way your DH will be happy , you will not be sidelined and can also have fun.
The hangers -on will not be able to use him since you will be with him.
You should be alert and give it back to the so-called friends who adviced you leave DS at home.:thumbsup
Tell DH that you will join in and tactfully let him take care of DS during the trip.
Why behave like a nanny and stay at home?:bonk
Join in and have fun this way DH will also realise his responsibilities.

If he goes alone you will be giving him his bachelorhood back.It could be a start for other solo trips and he may stop inviting you.:spin

omnam · Dec 5, 2011

Totally your DH is at wrong.

Now a days guys are taking care of their kids as their wives do.

How come friends are important in bday party but not you and kid? This is funny from your DH side. Is his kid not important for him?

Do tell your DH that he have to take care of kid in such situations as you also want to enjoy the party as he do. But dont fight or nag.

I also suggest to go out for trip. Enjoy with him. If anybody try to use DH's money... just be tactful to make other guys pay equally ..... make sure you ask to pay his frnds when Dh is not there.

If anyone tries to advise you on how to take care of DS. Just give back telling once you have kid your wife wont leave to enjoy with the frnds but will ask to take care equally.

tanu khurana · Dec 5, 2011

thanks friends,
love u all for your advice......you people give tactfully right answer...that's why i love to post my problem here.......why i am not as clever as u all......Iam just tired of making him understand so i thought time will teach him surely........

1Sandhya · Dec 6, 2011

tanu,

yes what he did was not right. But what you are doing by remaining silent is not correct either. Simply staying quiet and expecting others to do right thing is not helping you, clearly.
you know, this is common problem esp if you are the first couple to have kids in your friend circle while others are simply bachelor or childless. Think of it this way. You have to train them and your dh too tactfully. Start involving them in your kid. Start telling them cute stories of what your kid did. In between throw in how much it is responsibility and you dont get time to even eat becos of running behind him etc. Involve them in what is going on. On the party day you should not stay away for so long. After sometime you shd have come back and sit down and casually lightly say thank god you have finished. I am starving and start eating. What would happen? They will say oh you are not allowed to eat? You have to remain hungry? Dont make it an issue and confront but dont make it like they have to give permission either. just casually sit and start eating. Think of it like you are training them, lolz. There is no point in confronting your dh after the whole situation is over. He will feel guilty and become defensive. Just tactfully manage the situation while it is happening.

I think that you shd go on outstation trip.