Am I Right Or Wrong In Dealing With My Mom

Hi All,

I am married with one kid and staying abroad. I have one elder sister and our dad passed away when we were little.My mom brought us up with much difficulty. She is in india in the same city as my sister but not together(different house). She lives by herself with maids and my sister meets her regularly.
I visit india once a year and she comes here sometimes but she doesn't like here as she prefers to be with friends/relatives there and feels its boring here as we both work.

Coming to the point, after I got married in 2006 my jewels just remained with my mom in her locker. During functions she takes it out for me and puts it back.
I did not put it in a seperate locker as my sister did because I felt there is no need as she was the one who got those for me and also she will take better care as she is in india.

Back in 2016 I went there for my cousins wedding and my mom was asking exactly what jewels I need from the locker. I said lets take all and decide. But she was giving excuses. Then finally I asked for few and she got me that. I gave it back to her after the wedding.

In 2017 just before I went to India my husband asked me to add my name in the locker too along with my mom's name as I too can have access to it. I asked why then he said during my cousins wedding in 2016 he asked my mom for his chain and rings to wear in the function but my mom said its difficult to search (even his stuffs are in the same locker).

So when I went in 2017 I asked my mom to come to the bank so that we can open a new locker for me and add both my mom's name and my name for access.She kept on moving the dates until I pressed her too much and said she pledged all my jewels including hers to help my uncle who was in a business loss. My mom has a history of helping others blindly and me and my sister had told/warned her not to do that.
But I never expected she will do something like this. She pledged it long back and thats why during the wedding in 2016 she took the permission of the people where she pledged and took those jewels out for few days. After the wedding she gave it back to them.

My uncle is doing better now and even his wife and daughter pledged their jewels long time back but he took out all his daughters jewels. He still did not take some of his wife's jewels. But they are doing really well now and they even bought few jewels and car recently.
My uncle is not cheating but he does not have us as priority.He is paying the monthly interest for the pledged jewels.

I fought with my mom and asked her to get my jewels back as soon as possible. She said she will ask my uncle to get it by Nov 2017 and then it moved to Jan and now its April. She is saying she is asking my uncle regularly and he has promised to take it back soon. I think my uncle is not feeling the pressure. I did not tell this to my husband still as I thought it will spoil my my mom's name. So i thought i will solve this matter without his knowledge.

I told my mom for 2018 I will book the tickets to india only after she takes my jewels back. Also in the next trip my husband might also remind me for gaining access to the locker.Iam worried he might find it.

Now iam reminding my mom almost everyday to push my uncle. Because of this the phone calls with my mom is not pleasant or happy.Sometimes I feel that I should not fight with my mom for this as I did not buy those jewels. It was all bought by my mom and grandparents so may be its her right. I am really confused and worried. Please share your thoughts on this.

 

Thanks for your reply. I will try talking to my uncle.

 

Yea..even sometimes I feel like why i am fighting with my mom for my uncle's business loss...really i hate him for that. Thanks for your reply

 

Yes for my uncle his family is priority. I feel sad to see my mom with no jewels for functions. I bought her a pair of bangles few years back. Even that she has pledged for my uncle. I would love to see her wear those. But I cannot question on that because I bought it for her so she need not ask me but my jewels and my husband's jewels are also gone.She said she will ask sorry to my husband but I asked her not to tell anything to him but to get it back as soon as possible. Thanks for your reply!

 

Yes. He doesn't have much. I think a couple of chains and few rings but still its his.