Am I Over Reacting??

Unless you ask you will be only "Guessing". I think however hard, it may look to you try to build your confidence & ask why can't you spend sometime alone.
My ex was somewhat similar like this.He wants to tag his entire family with him. He felt our Honeymoon boring because he didn't have his family around. At sometime, I used to goto his office & take him straight to dinner, but still he will keep talking with his family on home. Case with him was he is highly emtionally dependednt on his parents/siblings & will always be thinking like what they will think if i go out alone with you.

 

Dear Advice,
See his divorce paper with your own eyes dont depend on relatives as its your life. One can never be sure unless one checks , does he have kids, does he pay alimony etc?
One cannot go into marriage just because relatives are bent on getting you two married. Maybe he does not want to meet you alone so that he doesnt have to answer the above tricky questions.
Nobody talks about such serious topics in a group .
You must insist on a couple date , and ask him all the questions . And also about the incompatibility issues.
He must be a US citizen as he married one.
Please take time to thrash out all issues which are bothering you. Dont get bull dozed into the alliance.
It appears he has nothing to ask you ! Are his parents pressurising him to remarry?
One has to be frank and honest , why is he ignoring you in public, is he scared to be seen with you?Somone will take photos and use as evidence?
Hope his divorce is final , and not still in process. Confirm.

 

One advise,

If this things bothering you today what if ,if he continue same thing for rest of his life.He wants people around him .Period.Don't get surprised.There are people,who doesn't know how to spend time with spouse.So you really need to get to know him better.Don't sit and wonder inside.This is your life and not buying some shirt in the market.You better speak up.

 

agree with priya , speak up.

 

My DH, when we got engaged, used to not want to go out on dates with me exclusively (though now its like he wants to spend every second with me...but that time was different). Whatever number of times we used to meet it was more like a formality or obligation we did to appease others who'd join us in our group meetings!!...And the reason in my case was---he simply didn't want to get emotionally intimate with me. His heart was not with me, but with someone else. It might be different for you, and unless you ask...you wouldn't get the answer!...Make sure you ask without being sounding too emotional or touchy about it-because if you'll be too emotional, he'll give you an answer to placate you.......if u ask too casually, he'll brush it off. Be cool, relaxed, pleasant...... and ask like you mean it, and would really like to know whats going on. But unless u ask..u won't know. Even if he doesn't answer u directly......u'll definitely know something if u make an honest attempt to ask.

I am just talking from my own experience ....any sign that bothers you--just to remain alert... keep your eyes open, be ready to talk....and most important don't worry !!

 

Something that triggers a warning in you, should not be neglected is my opinion. it is said humans have an inbuilt intuitive system, and is more sensitive in girls.

if something is really bothering you and you are going to take the next step, asking him upfront, saying that you are worried if there is something that he is not comfortable about being alone with you. it is better to ask rather than contemplate or speculate the reasons..

 

I dont thk you are overreacting. But I also feel you should talk it out.
May be he feels you may find him a bore, maybe he feels you guys will not have much to talk and will not have fun.

What i am concerned abt is that you dont want to talk abt it. We all are different rt, there is nothg wrong in telling your him what you want. Maybe be he will also open up once you do.

 

I feel its a red flag When the person is ready to be intimate when alone but not willing to go out as couple in public ..

Its easy to talk over the phone/sms chats(one can hide their trueself easily) than to meet the eyes and talk.
Its necessary for you to meet the person and get to know him properly...

Please dont hesitate for whatever reason it may be.. U say u know this person for 7 months, is there any other red flags? Juz because its second marriage for both it doesnt mean that u ve to ignore your inner voice...

Think whether you are okay with the way things are going now even after marriage, If you question after marriage you will be questioned back again y u didnt raised it upfront..

If you start giving in/hesitant to ask certain things now itself then u would either regret or blamed later...

As others said please do an unbiased background checks which gives u fact, dont go with assumptions or words..