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Am I being Over Protective of my Baby

Discussion in 'Infants' started by mitra75, Aug 18, 2013.

  1. mitra75

    mitra75 New IL'ite

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    Today few of my relatives came home. They brought 5 year old boy with them. My MIL was suggesting me to give my 3 month baby girl to him to hold. I was scared to do so. He is a kid. How could he manage to hold her safely. Luckily she dozed off. I said she would scream if we wake her up. After they left I told my MIL why did she say so. She got angry. And said she wont even speak if anyone visits home. :drowning. Shouldn't I said that to her? :bowdown Should i apologize to her?

    Am i over protective of my baby? Does all mom here feel like this?

    Severe problem here is am planning to get back to work after 2 months. After few such incidents I am worried if i can leave the baby with my MIL and go to work. Even if i go, will i be able to concentrate on my work. Working moms pour in your experiences plz.
     
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  2. Dinny

    Dinny IL Hall of Fame

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    Mitra
    Thats not being over protective but being careful.
    A 5 yr old might not be able to hold a small baby if he is not used to holding one.Meaning that if the boy doesnt have a sibling smaller than him whom he would have picked as a baby,then for obvious reasons the child will not be able to hold the baby properly,unless an adult is around and helping him.
    Was your MIL asking you to give the baby while you and her were around the child?
    If so yes you could have tried giving the baby in the child's lap while not leaving the grip from baby completely.

    Such anxiety in new mothers is not new.I was also very protective of my baby.So thats just natural.
    Now when you join work after 2 months your baby will be 5 months.By then baby's head must be steady.
    So. Such situations will not arise then.Dont worry.

    Take care.
     
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  3. ramyaramani

    ramyaramani Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    As new moms we tend to be over protective (sometimes even paranoid) of our little ones. As time flies back we learn to relax a bit. Your MIL is like any other person with years of parenting experience. Both of you are right in your own ways. Just this incident does not mean you MIL will not take good care of th baby. She is the grandparents and with her own grandchild I am sure she would take good care. You can talk to her about your concerns of the boy dropping your kid with this incident.
     
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  4. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Mitra, your MIL would most certainly did not mean that you give your baby to him and walk away. What we normally do, even at age 13-14 years is, make them sit on the couch and place your baby in their lap. Advise them to give support to their heads. Stand right there until they are ready to return your baby.

    Like I said, your MIL more than likely didnt mean to hand over the baby and walk away. Now, apologizing for this is your call completely. Dont have to...you can explain her that you misunderstood her...if that would make her feel good. You could also then explain your side that you want to make 100% sure baby is safe. hence the apprehension.
     
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  5. agnath

    agnath Silver IL'ite

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    No you are not at all over protective, It is natural for mother to be worried about her child's safety, it is not safe to give a baby in 5 year old boy's hand. She is your baby and you have to think about her safety. let anyone get angry. No need to talk about this matter at all now. Before you start going to work if you want and think appropriate then you can hire a nanny to take care of the baby alone. you can tell your mother in law that she can take rest and supervise the house.
    but again this is going to be a very difficult decision, to get a good nanny , to trust her with your baby, is all a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggggggg task. think . Above all trust your instinct, mother knows the best for her child. Do not worry it happens to all working mothers. you will be able to handle it very effectively.
     
  6. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    It entirely depends on what you are comfortable with. Even With certain adults I used to be uncomfortable about handing over my new born. IMO you have he bottom line responsibility for safeguarding your baby and just follow your instincts. If anyone suggests you do otherwise, learn to respond tactfully and diplomatically.

    For eg. instead of confronting your mil, you could just state politely you aren't comfortable letting a child handle your baby; so could she please take care henceforth.

    While your MIL's way of dealing with the child may not be the same as yours, it might still be one of the many right ways to bring the child up. Since you do have to get back to work, start using tact in communicating with your MIL so that you can find peaceful middle ground in both of you doing the best for your child.
     
  7. mitra75

    mitra75 New IL'ite

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    Thanks all for your replies. I am practicing to convey my MIL my concerns. Succeeded in few attempts :)
     
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