Am I a greedy daughter in law?...pls be kind- i am still learning...

Well said, the double standards runs both way, and has done so for centuries

A wife may think her DH is spending too much on his parents, but if she gets to know of her brothers wife stopping the brother from spending on her own parents, then its a different matter

Similarly, a MIL thinks her DIL should not interfere in money matters of her son, but when her own daughter gets married, she gets worried when the SIL spends too much on his sisters


But I can well understand when some parents get annoyed when the DIL enters the family and pretends the son should stop being a son and become an "arms length" relative

 

In an ideal world , even a husband should be cool if his wife should propose that she pay for her brothers wedding . But how often does that happen ? Let's be practical , expecting a brother to pay for his sister's wedding is pure gender discrimination . Here the sister is independent and working abroad, she can take care of her own wedding , just like the brother spent for his own wedding.

Weddings are very costly affair , and it's only fair that a limit should be decided .I personally would not feel bad if my SIL would restrict my brother from spending lavishly for me . Afterall she is his wife and life partner , and has equal right as him in their joint financial decisions and planning . She is the one who is there for him in his old age and difficult times, not me . so why should their hard earned money be wasted on my wedding ? Infact I would have shared the responsibility of parents' finances and loans , equally with brother . Otherwise what is the point of being educated. Equal rights equal responsibilities.