Ah, Those Cuss Words !!!!

HariLakhera · Nov 10, 2019

AH, THOSE CUSS WORDS !!!!

Our grandchildren were visiting us. I went hunting around for buying some suitable gifts for them. Buying gifts for the granddaughter, just entered 13, is easy because firstly,wife does that and secondly, she is a happy go lucky girl and is easily satisfied by those girly things.

We decided to buy a book for the grandson just entered 15. Frankly, I do not know what boys of 15 years like to read. I entered in a popular book –store (or may I say only book store left in CP, Delhi as all other books stores have either closed or shifted to big malls in NOIDA or GURGAON ). As I was browsing through the store- selves, I thought of having the opinion of the two girls of almost of the same age group as my grandson who were also browsing the selves. They suggested to buy some thriller as in their opinion boys of his age like thrillers and to make it doubly sure they got it confirmed from one of their more knowledgeable friends over the phone.

As recommended by their friend, that is how I ended up buying ‘Digital Fortress' by Dan Brown writer of ‘The Da Vinci Code'. I thought of reading the book myself (as I always do) before gifting to him and must admit that I read all those 510 pages in just about 10 hours. It is engrossing. But the problem was about those cuss words here and there and some short but graphic description of lovemaking. My wife thought it was okay as she has seen them watching TV serials full of such words. Moreover, they are born and brought up in the USA and they are used to such words.

I was not convinced and thought I would hand it over to my daughter and leave it to her better judgment, which I did and told her about my reservations. She said it was okay.

Any comments, please...

Viswamitra · Nov 10, 2019

Dear Hari Sir,

The children in America are used to cuss words very early in their lives. The Indian children in the US take enough precaution not to repeat them at home knowing the parents are not used to such cuss words. The movies and shows they watch also have so many cuss words even though many parents try to curtail such shows to the best of their abilities. The famous book that is popular among the young American is "What the bleep do we know?" authored by William Arntz, Betsy Chasse and Mark Vicente. Even though the book is engrossing because of the subject matter dealt with, the title raised some eyebrows in the US as well.

Rihana · Nov 10, 2019

Hari ji,

Perhaps the title can be "Damn, those cuss words!" : )

I googled it quite a bit but unable to find what are the cuss words or swear words used in the book. I could ask other readers in my life, but unfortunately both the young and old among them tend to say, "Why don't you read it yourself?"

15 year olds know everything about lovemaking or have access to that knowledge. They also know the cuss words and that they are not to be used in daily conversation or writing.

The bigger question would be is he interested in reading books. If his mother says it is OK, you are cleared.

What would be endearing and a warm memory for the young man is if you share with him what you wrote here -- how you went to the book store, how book stores are disappearing, the girls helping and asking their knowledgeable friend, and you reading the book, reading it in 10 hours.

I stopped reading the books that my kids read around the time they graduated to Harry Potter, Hunger Games, and Percy Jackson. Quite the involved mom me, no amount of parental love could make me go beyond the first 10 pages of any of these. A child's grandparent reading a book before gifting it to the child is a gift in itself. Good job.

shyamala1234 · Nov 11, 2019

Viswamitra said: ↑

Dear Hari Sir,

The children in America are used to cuss words very early in their lives. The Indian children in the US take enough precaution not to repeat them at home knowing the parents are not used to such cuss words. The movies and shows they watch also have so many cuss words even though many parents try to curtail such shows to the best of their abilities. The famous book that is popular among the young American is "What the bleep do we know?" authored by William Arntz, Betsy Chasse and Mark Vicente. Even though the book is engrossing because of the subject matter dealt with, the title raised some eyebrows in the US as well.[/QUOT
Dear Hariji,
All the parents of teenagers know that cusswords are banned at home and parents know kids use them!!!!
The way you dear searched for a book, taking help of other teenager in the shop is good. And you left the discretion to your daughter is reasonable.
By the way why books only for grandson and not for granddaughter!!!!
Syamala
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HariLakhera · Nov 11, 2019

Viswamitra said: ↑

Dear Hari Sir,

The children in America are used to cuss words very early in their lives. The Indian children in the US take enough precaution not to repeat them at home knowing the parents are not used to such cuss words. The movies and shows they watch also have so many cuss words even though many parents try to curtail such shows to the best of their abilities. The famous book that is popular among the young American is "What the bleep do we know?" authored by William Arntz, Betsy Chasse and Mark Vicente. Even though the book is engrossing because of the subject matter dealt with, the title raised some eyebrows in the US as well.
Click to expand...

Dear Viswa,
Thanks. Today's children live in a different world of knowledge, good or bad, explosion. Probably they know more than what they need to know. But that is difficult to know. There are ways to control their viewing internet but for how long? In their peer group, they flow with the current.
The only issue is the freedom to use such words in front of their elders particularly family members.

HariLakhera · Nov 11, 2019

Rihana said: ↑

Hari ji,

Perhaps the title can be "Damn, those cuss words!" : )

I googled it quite a bit but unable to find what are the cuss words or swear words used in the book. I could ask other readers in my life, but unfortunately both the young and old among them tend to say, "Why don't you read it yourself?"

15 year olds know everything about lovemaking or have access to that knowledge. They also know the cuss words and that they are not to be used in daily conversation or writing.

The bigger question would be is he interested in reading books. If his mother says it is OK, you are cleared.

What would be endearing and a warm memory for the young man is if you share with him what you wrote here -- how you went to the book store, how book stores are disappearing, the girls helping and asking their knowledgeable friend, and you reading the book, reading it in 10 hours.

I stopped reading the books that my kids read around the time they graduated to Harry Potter, Hunger Games, and Percy Jackson. Quite the involved mom me, no amount of parental love could make me go beyond the first 10 pages of any of these. A child's grandparent reading a book before gifting it to the child is a gift in itself. Good job.
Click to expand...

Thank you Rihanaji. I guess 'damn, those cuss words', would have made me a purist. haha. Some years back, we had a get together of school mates. You will be surprised to note that one of the topics that sprung was the cuss words we used during our school days. We had a great laugh. Yess we used cuss words, but not very often and never in front of our elders.
Yes, I left it at the discretion of my daughter.
As for my sharing this with my grandson, I did tell him how I selected the book. He was and is a very fast reader. Many a times I used to take him to the bookstore to select books. He would say ' how many books can I select?' and I would say as many as you can read in one day'. Now I borrow books from him.
Harry Potter, Hunger games are here on the selves but somehow I don't have inclination and energy to read them.

HariLakhera · Nov 11, 2019

Syamalji,
Yes children know cuss words are banned at home but sometimes as force of habit, they simply come out.
As for Granddaughter, as I said she was 13 then and my wife was taking care of that. Grandson is interested in books.