Ageing lonely tempts reconcilation?

I agree that I can't generalize this. But just because a couple can't think of spending time without each other doesn't mean they have never gone a tough path.

I am a best example for that.
I feel bad to send my H for a foreign trip even if that is for a week. He too feels the same. I feel really and very badly missing him if he is very late to home. I really like to spend times with him, and I can't actually eat satisfactorily if he is not sharing that meal with me now.
To the world we are perfect ideal couple. We dress in the same colour, and are always together. We share same wavelength and what not.
But there was a time, we have actually separated from each other. Thought about divorce, and felt whether we are actually meant for each other?
So, time heals everything, and it changes our thought process. We grew close with each other with times.

There are other stories too. The couple who are so thick and loving in the initial days fight like cat and dog in their 40s due to differences.

If a person say that I have never faced any marital issue, no compatibility issue, never doubted each other's love etc.... then they are truly blessed. But to be honest, it is very hard to trust their statement.
Because generally every marriage goes through such hard times, but the length and realization may vary as per their love, bond, maturity and external force.

 

I strongly believe that husband and wife relationship is very delicate and based on the foundation of trust, faith and support - both moral and physical. Once this bond is disturbed for any reason and the relationship starts to crumble, then nothing is going to make it better! Cracks in a mirror can never be repaired. One should not have to simply "make do" with the relationship. It's better to move on...

 

OP,
You are getting lonely, and desire some companionship.
When we remember something after few years, we tend to cancel out the negatives.
I did not read your other posts, just this one.

We all draw a line of where a relationship becomes bad. For me, is that hitting etc
What is/ was yours?
IF you go back, will it good enough with your new standards.

You can go back, it is easier to live with known problem then trying to find a perfect solution.
Think about yourself and kids, only. Parents and everyone else have their own life to live.

Do not go to a person who hits you, has addiction of any kind- gambling, alcohol, drugs
Take everything slowly, and get a long term counsellor

 

One of my Indian friends who was my school senior told me that lot of divorced / single Indian men r wanting to marry / compromise really quickly in their later age- which can be 30s for old fashioned or non urban or who don't take care of themselves or 40s for others - so these men r looking for an Indian woman to wipe their ass as only Indian woman can be that much devoted to wipe their ass ...so she was saying later years r much better for indian women to negotiate and get a better man as husband..LOL....But yeah, aged or not, women shouldn't marry to wipe a man's ass as in DON'T compromise but hold on as age is what shows on ur face n not the number on your documents!

 

We are not perfect, non of us are.......some decisions are good for that time in period, the decision may not be correct for other times in different situations.

If you think that you could go back to your spouse, then take a conscious decision and go back, if that is possible.

In our society, be it a divorce or be separated, it is not an easy survival....we are out-casted by our friends, relatives at large, and even in employment, and over time people ignore us openly, and don't even have any consideration for our feelings.

It is imbedded in the minds of our society, that women are to be protected by father, brother, husband and later the son.
Lots have changed, and we women have come forward a lot and achieved a lot, and definitely we will be able to live well even without a male or husband.

But there will always be a struggle with the society and you have to make a conscious effort to be bold and strong, and more often than not it is always swimming against the current.
There are this bad elements, who think that a separated women are free to be tried. Warding them off is possible and we always do, but the pain we go through after that is terrible, the feeling and impact it has on our life.

I would say being bold and strong all the time, and facing other issues like being neglected, ignored and being a subject of gossip most of the time of one's life is no easy task. And all the time to be strong and bold is not something we look forward to. A little relaxing is needed.

Finally, what have we achieved, we come out of the marriage due to the (some) trouble, but in the bargain we have other type of troubles in the society. And you still end up lonely? That is not a good bargain.

For each one of us the situation is different. Sometimes both the choices are not good, the marriage partner and the society, but we need to weigh the situation and have to pick the best from the worst.

Best of luck
Rupanzal