Age - Just A Number, Not A Limit.

anupartha · Apr 21, 2016

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Mark Twain.

But with negative stereotypes of aging in the media and the society, it’s hard not to associate growing older with nothing but aches, pains, feebleness, and lack of freedom and mobility. And in our Indian culture, that negativity is so high, especially towards women. I am not talking about the inability aches and other things, but things that brand our senior women. A woman is always expected to follow some invisible rule; created by whom? I wonder. And ‘act’ her age!..what exactly is acting one’s age? No one defines it precisely. And how a single rule is applicable to the whole clan is another mystery.

Why should she not wear what she wants after certain age? I am surprised to see women themselves resolve to some kind of restriction..and try to stick to some ‘rules’ written by know not whom..what makes them think that age has got something to do with their happiness or to accomplish things what they want??.. I am just curious to know your thoughts in general about this topic. As a 50 plus senior, I have never felt the compulsion to follow or stick to the so called rules. I wear what I feel comfortable (no, I don’t walk around in miniskirts or bikinis) just stuff that’s modest enough ( again, the line that defines modesty vary from region to region) and I never care or mind the cryptic comments that follows my back.

Personally I feel our women must learn to respect their own self and also learn to tackle the negativity that’s hauled upon them...easier said than done. But be the change what you want..life is too short to be anything but happy.

Amica · Apr 22, 2016

anupartha said: ↑

..life is too short to be anything but happy.
Click to expand...

I agree with you. We should feel free to be ourselves. Our lives, our choice!

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satchitananda · Apr 22, 2016

You hit the nail on the head, anupartha. Age is but a number. Whatever restrictions are destined for the person are already imposed by Nature. Why insist on trying to regulate a person's life 'after a certain age' whatever that 'certain' age is!

waiting4rmlong · Apr 22, 2016

In our Indian tradition,particularly south Indian women grown up with shy,fear,should not opposed,should not speak loud etc.,so many restrictions abided by parents because of Society. That's why all these. But now generations are getting changed. Now women are doing what they like not 100% at least some % people. Their husband also supports this. But still change has to come and increase in %.

Lata6 · Apr 23, 2016

I will always follow what is the Trend and if it is modest and if I am comfortable, I will wear it, I will not think about my age. But, I often got looks from youngsters especially girls and some uncles that I am some kind of aunty even if I have small kids. what is wrong in wearing what I like and what I am comfortable in. I went to attend a reception in India recently and everyone was thinking of wearing a dress but no no you are married and have kids how can you? stick to saree you will look good they said (of course I love saree but we already wore that once). My parents/husband never stop us but the society....when will it change.

Agatha83 · Apr 23, 2016

It is the society which dictates the dress code and even the foreigners who come to India as tourists abide by this rule and change their dress according to Indian customs. Nobody in a bikini or short skirts dare to walk the roads of any city safely, unless they are ready to face the catcalls. So whatever the country we are in we can dress according to their culture and customs, irrespective of our age.

Agatha83

anupartha · Apr 23, 2016

Thanks for the response ladies. Its just not the dress alone..even the Jewell, shoes, the way they tie their hair everything is observed and duly commented by the self appointed 'moral police'. Just a passing comment, loose talk, sweeping statements without knowing any background of the said person, all these things make my blood boil.
And the irony is majority of this 'moral police' are women!!!..I was surprised to see some ladies half my age in this contributing their portion of valuable nonsense!!..sad..pain..

joylokhi · Apr 24, 2016

Well said anupartha. Natural aging itself gives us its own restrictions in terms of ability to
be as active as we were when younger. We need not take age as a reason to not wear/dress the way we feel suits us and are comfortable with. Yes, no doubt comments come in plenty when u dont follow the trodden path in every way - but it need not be taken into account at all.

jayasala42 · Apr 25, 2016

I think the idea is deep rooted in our blood.
Not only the elders but the children too fall in line.Even my three year old grandson living in US has a distinct notion about dress code.

See his comments." patti( myself) has to wear two nose rings and saree and he says that I look very nice in madisar.His Ammamma, ( mother's mother should have one nose stud and wear 6 yds saree." She looks good only in saree.But occasionally when she wears choodidhar,I don't like her..
But for my Amma, (My DIL) she looks very nice in Choodidhars, not so good in jeans and T shirts.She is great in sarees.On the Upanayanam day,when she wore madisar.i didn't like her.She looked very old."
But myself and Anna( his brother)whatever Amma selects is good enough.
Thatha ( my husband ) is great in veshti and also in pants.But his Amma's father can only waer pants, he is not good in veshti because he is having a stylish beard.
The child is very innocent and nobody teaches him to say such things.I think that these impressions are formed naturally.He has no idea of numbers or age of the person.
When a child of 3,has so much to say, we can very well feel how this dress code is integrated in our genes.

jayasala 42

shobhamma · Apr 25, 2016

My Dear !
Do, eat and wear what you want. people, families children, grandchildren will fall in line!
Later you will find more women getting courageous in aping you.
My stock reply to any criticism is "You dont like it? dont look!"

Of course you need a thick hide. And I have also known women to dress to shock and get actually disappointed when no comments come their way.