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Adhd Concern

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by beingmom, Oct 23, 2019.

  1. beingmom

    beingmom Bronze IL'ite

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    My 5 year old just started Kindergarten this past August and within 3 weeks of going to school, his teacher mentioned that he is not sitting silently in school, not focusing well, making some weird sounds in class, and very sensitive.

    He had been going to Montessori from his young age and until that point, we didn't get any behavior concerns from his teachers.

    But after starting school, I feel like his behavior has changed. He is not listening to us well, he needs a constant reminder on simple things such as brushing his teach Lots of tantrum and constantly picking on his sibling (it's always been that way).

    He goes to Soccer and this week we noticed him picking on a kid in the field itself and not focusing on the game the whole time. He is no longer the kid we knew a few months ago and we are at a loss on how to parent him.

    When I search on Google, it sounds a lot like ADHD and I have had a discussion with his teacher and she is it's possible it's ADHD.

    His ped thinks it's too early to diagnose. However, asked me to reach out to a counselor as when she met him she even noticed he is not focusing well. I remember his 5-year annual checkup and his ped mentioned he was a model child as he listened to her and cooperated very well.

    He is good with math and other learning (either met or exceeded the expectations) and likes to do home work (most of the time).

    Is it possible for a kid to change this drastically within a span of few months? No changes in our family life. I'm at a loss and it's on my mind all the time. Please help.
     
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  2. mangaii

    mangaii Gold IL'ite

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    Could you elaborate a bit on being sensitive part ?

    How was he as a baby ? Was he a hyper sensitive kid ? What about his sleep patterns ? Was he a good sleeper ?


    How much is the duration of this work mentioned above ?




    The change is more visible when they are in structured environment. Montessori is different setup. The symptoms may not have been noticeable before. Change in school is a major change. This might be behavioral problem or ADHD. What kind of activities do you do at home with him ?

    When you say he picks on siblings or friends is there is a trigger point ?
     
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  3. beingmom

    beingmom Bronze IL'ite

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    He was a normal baby. He is sensitive to loud noises and doesn't like them (for example, cooker whistle, theater etc). But when watching his favorite movies at home, he doesn't mind loud noises.

    He easily cries if someone mocks at him or picks on him. He does talk back and tell them if something is not correct. But he does cry easily.

    9 weeks - at the end of 9 weeks we received the report card. It showed that his academic is good and he is lacking in social skills.

    We try to take him to park in the evenings, read books, ride bicycle, play dates (during weekends), watch shows/movies as a family (once a week), play in the backyard etc.

    I've noticed he picks on girls, including his sibling. He is not learning it from family as my husband and i are equal at home. It's a concern as well.
     
  4. mangaii

    mangaii Gold IL'ite

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    What do you think about his teacher ? Can you talk to other parents and get feedback about the teacher ?

    Can you get a art kit or lego kit any thing which is appropriate for his age and see if he can follow the instructions or read instructions and work on it with minimal intervention from you ? How is he responding if he doesn't understand something ? How easily he gets frustrated ?

    How much screen time does he get ?

    What kind of explanation he provides if you probe him further about picking on his sibling ? Does he feel bad ? Is he justifying his actions ?
     
  5. Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Your son's pediatrician is right. Five is a developmentally turbulent age. His sensory issues and hypersensitivity are definitely worrying but there are too many false positives in diagnosing ADHD at his age. There are other factors that can mimic ADHD symptoms behaviorally. Make sure you eliminate these before driving down psychological disorder lane.

    - Does he get sufficient sleep?
    - Does he get adequate daily exercise? (At least an hour outdoors)
    - How much time is he spending in front of electronic screens?
    - Is he experiencing stress at school? Depending on the nature of interactions, peers and teachers can be a source of anxiety.
    - How much processed food/sugar is he getting in his diet?
    - Does he receive adequate attention from you?
    - Does he feel resentful of the attention his sibling receives?

    The disruption caused by starting a new school, having to make new friends, and conforming to unfamiliar disciplinary requirements can cause children to act out. It's possible his Montessori school did not enforce conformity in the classroom and he is finding it challenging in this new environment. If you did not notice behavioral issues until he started the new school, then you should be wary of snap diagnoses. Google is not your friend. All those '14 signs your child has ADHD' articles should be read with an abundance of skepticism. ADHD can only be diagnosed (relatively) accurately by evaluations and observations conducted by child psychologists/psychiatrists over a reasonably long period of time. In general practice, both parents and children have to fill out lengthy questionnaires, accompanied by extensive testing -- recall tests, impulsiveness tests, reaction tests -- and multiple one on one interviews with experts. Diagnosis is a months long process and rightfully so; Even then it is highly subjective. Don't hesitate to see multiple doctors until you find someone you can trust, who you are confident will put your child's well-being above what is expedient.

    An ADHD diagnosis must not be made for the convenience of parents and teachers. The diagnosis must serve the interests of the child, and lead to an improvement in the child's quality of life and learning ability. I am disturbed by his teacher's suggestion that he might have ADHD. Sadly, too often teachers jump to the ADHD conclusion simply to avoid having to deal with a child with behavioral issues. They want perfect little rule-following automatons. A school can only (after a formal IEP evaluation) identify a learning disability. A school CANNOT diagnose your child with ADHD. There is a razor thin line between a child with behavioral challenges and ADHD. As a parent you are your son's advocate and it is up to you to ensure that you are not medicating a difficult, albeit normal, phase of childhood to please his teachers or doctors.

    I suggest you start with an initial evaluation with a child psychologist, while simultaneously sorting out the usual suspects -- diet, screen time, sleep, exercise, social interaction etc. Kids with attention deficit benefit from having a consistent and predictable routine. Regarding picking on other kids, it could be negative attention-seeking behavior. Is his sibling a girl? Does he feel neglected around her? Do you spend enough one-on-one time with him? Try handling his aggression with behavior-change techniques like the ones taught in this course: Everyday Parenting: The ABCs of Child Rearing You can audit the course for free on Coursera. There is a book version too: https://www.amazon.com/Kazdin-Method-Parenting-Defiant-Child/dp/0547085826

    If do receive an adverse diagnosis don't take it to heart. It is not the end of the world. Start all recommended therapies and reevaluate every year as he grows up. Personally I don't favor medicating children but of course you should make your own informed decision regarding that in concert with your physician's advice.

    Good luck!
     
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2019
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  6. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

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    Hmmm... such a big change within few months is indeed worrisome.
    You will have to don your detective hat and think carefully about what changed in your home since that 5 year ped appointment. What is new in your home or in the things he uses daily from last year or before. From toothpaste to shampoo to new foods (that horrible colored gogurt, for eg) or different clothes material or some colorful painted furniture, eg., big boy bed, which you bought. A lot of products marketed to kids this age are filled with petroleum additives to get the specific colors effect. Even same food but new brand can cause changes if the child is sensitive to one of the additives in it. Think carefully. It may take a few days before you realize the answer.
    If you suspect something then try removing it for a month or so and see if there is a change. If so then that may be culprit. Be vigilant as there may be more than one of these products that you bought without realizing.

    ARTIFICIAL Food Coloring Causes Behavior Problems (In Children)

    I used to have a better link for this but I can’t find it. that link comprehensively looked at all instances of artificial food color in our kids lives from bags, furniture, shampoo to food
    And explained why this is a problem for some kids. Short answer is that some of those dye molecules mimic actual amino acids or essential molecules and get taken up by growing kids body causing misfiring. Since kids grow faster the effect is noticeable within few months but also reversible if caught in time. Takeaway is give kid foods and products in the color your granny would recognize. Google food additive or dye sensitivity. Some kids get eczema others get behavior problems. Depends how body incorporates the dye molecules. The above link is a start.

    https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/childhood-adhd/food-dye-adhd
    This link talks about specific colors that affect kids.
    Good luck!
     
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2019
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  7. lavani

    lavani Gold IL'ite

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    my daughter was told the same comment when she was in grade 3. pediatrician said it is ADD and asked to give medicines. however i researched, and tried this program for couple of years.

    i do not have any strong proof if it helped or not. but now in middle school she is a A+ kid with good social friends.

    other than vitamins and fish oil, we did this

    http://www.playattention.com/
     
  8. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    Hugs ! Hang in there. As a mother I do understand your worry. Why not get him evaluated to rule out issues ? This is for your peace of mind and also to get him help in case of anything. Help provided earlier during developing years can work wonders. Hopefully this is just a phase, but you owe him the testing and the help . Take care.
     
  9. hermitcrab

    hermitcrab Gold IL'ite

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    I hate what they are putting in kids food here.
    Please control his diet to your specification e.g. keep it free of processed food: organic rice, organic yogurt (excellent for tummy), steamed or indian curry vegetable, good quality chicken or egg. No juice, no candy, no colored stuff or preservation- to achieve this, take out candy, ice cream, treats and snacks. Keep snacks to apple slices, broccoli, good quality cheese, milk.

    I have seen teachers in a good preschool, giving out a treat- full of fructose + artificial flavor + dye. They were like gogurts, I had gone to pick up early, and I saw.
    I told teachers that my kids is allergic to preservative, dyes, and fructose- a lie, so that they don't give him all the junk.
    I will give cucumber, apple, good quality bread, I was working so hard, then why should I let the school spoil it.

    Please first control the diet. Then add swimming lessons. Swimming is great for exercise and rhythmic breathing is great. Always check his toothpaste etc, Tom's of maine is a good brand for entire family. At birthday parties etc, teach your kids to leave frosting and decoration and eat alittle of actual cake or no cake + water + pizza. Better still, feed him at home and tell everyone 'he is very picky"

    Make him sleep 9+ hours, may be 11 hrs. Each one of us needs a different sleep.
    Let him sleepin on Saturday, and check how long is a good sleep. It can be easily 11 hrs/ each night. Don't cut on sleep time. Sleep is food for brain, for everyone.
     
  10. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Your son seems to have sensory issues.
    Get him evaluated .
    Go to a Developmental paediatrician.
    Where do you live .
    If its USA, try cbd oil. Only good paediatric brands.
     

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