Actively Thinking About Divorce - Any Positive Experiences?

I am not sure why it doesn't make any sense to you. To me it seems pretty reasonable. Incidentally, it was a woman doctor not that it matters. And it was not a rigid verdict. She was concerned and cared deeply about the well being of her patients. they see this a lot apparently - breast cancer happening to women having a lot of emotional stress.

Anyways we are going on a tangent here. Which was not the point of my original discussion. However thank you for your well meaning message. I appreciate your analysis and your need for clarity.

 

Do you still allow kids to spend time with their Dad. How often he can visit them

 

I am sure a stressful life will lead to a sick life because stress affect our mind and lowers immunity. Our general health will be affected for sure and from one person to another,the type of ailment we get may vary,if not cancer,something else is on the way. It can grey ones hair fast, affect skin, can lead to intestinal and anal issues etc to mention a few. Still debate is going on how far stress lead to cancer, but the link cannot be ignored.

But to get out of cancer a stress free life is a must and that is what OP did. She identified the core issue and fixed it. Appreciate her courage.

 

He gets them every other weekend (from Thursday to Sunday). And in the off week, he has them on Thursday. This is as per the court and our agreed on divorce agreement.

 

Thanks for your reply. Your thoughts on the post made me think and filled it with hope and happiness.

 

I filed the divorce on the grounds of "Irreconcilable differences". It was not a mutual consent divorce. When my ex received the divorce papers, he was shocked and ranted at me. He was a dependent on my visa so did not want the divorce. He fought against everything in the court-custody, money etc and tried to drag everything out as much as he could. We went through parental psychological evaluation by a court appointed psychologist, mediation, court appearances etc. It took exactly one year from the time of filing to my being granted the divorce.

I read in one of the other responses that divorce was an easy cookie cutter solution and so should not be considered. That made me laugh. The truth is that an Indian woman for the most part considers divorce only as a last resort when all else fails. It is not an easy decision for her. Specially when you consider the cultural mindset against it from certain folks. It takes a lot of courage to walk away from a toxic relationship and say you deserve better than this. What is indeed cookie cutter and easy to preach to someone is that they should stay in an unhealthy and unhappy marriage for the sake of kids, parents, society, take your pick.

 

I love science and read 'papers' as pass time.
But after a point science cannot answer every question.
Somethings like 'what lies beyond our universe', 'is there a parallel universe', 'how do we live with mrsa on our skin and not get it, for most part','we can donate eyes but can't make it in lab'- cannot be purely a science (as we know it now) questions.
In the universe, there are some other factors in play, that we are not fully aware of.
Based on this unawareness and enough evidence of correlation between emotions and physical well being, we can say that unfavorable situations/ stress, can cause diseases. I believe in it fully.

 

Definitely, stress can lead to sickness...its written everywhere...kudos aarushi that you found happiness and u r leading a beautiful content n stress free life....marriage shud be a joyride n not a drag or emotionally or physically abusive relationship...its better to opt out of marriage rather than stay in it for all the wrong reasons becoz in the end, society or so called friends won't be there for u when u have lost ur health or sanity by staying in an abusive marriage !