Absolute Fake

Absolutely Fake


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There was a report in the Times of india, that had my head spinning. It was like this.
A pregnant woman was sent as a decoy patient to a sonography center, where the middle man promised to tell her the sex of the baby, which is banned. She went got sonography done, and when she came out she enquired about the sex, the man replied, wait, so he went in the clinic, and came out after 15 minutes to say , it is a boy. Immediately the police nabbed him.Now comes the mother of all scams.

The man said, why have u arrested me ? They took him in the clinic, and they were surprised to see that there was no songraphy machine there. The room was dark, it just had a large computer screen, the sonography was on a pen drive, copied from elsewhere, and a Doppler(god knows that that is ) was moved on the ladies tummy to give her the impression that sonography is being done, and the film was playing on the tv monitor, which she could see.

So since there was no sonography done the guy was let off. The crook used to take money from ladies, for sonography and a fat fee for telling them the sex of the baby, and it was split between the crooks, they were a few of them.Easy money it was, till this thing put a stop.

Reminded me of some old tales told by a doctor friend of mine, whose poor cousins practice in small villages of Rajasthan.He says, they are considered gods there, and he says they make more money than me, they too con the public, but sweetly.HAHA. Here are a few cons which he told me of them.

THE FAINTING DAUGHTER IN LAW- One lady came to this village doc, with the fainted dIL saying her daughter in law, (DIL) keeps getting fainting fits, whenever she is told to do housework, doctor saab do something please. The doctor guessed the fainting is the excuse to not do housework. Smart chap came up with a solution.

He told the MIL, bring the DIL in my chamber, and I will lock the door from inside.Dont open the door even if she screams, I will cure her. Well for the MIL the doc was God, so she agreed. The doc made DIL lie down on the couch,and he could guess she was watching him with half closed eyes.

He took a small bottle, facing away from her, unzipped, and urinated in the bottle, and zipped up, and taking his own sweet time to do so, for he was sure the lady was watching him. He came out , gave the bottle to the MIL and told her that whenever the DIL gets a fit, give her a teaspoon of this liquid, and she will be allright.

After a fortnight or so, the MIL came with a lot of fruits and other goodies for the Doc, saying yr medicine is wonderful, a few times she was about to faint, and when I brought out the bottle, she suddenly became allright. You are God , Doctor, u are god. HAHA

THE FAKE XRAY MACHINE - This fellow is another cousin of this doc of mine. Here is what he does. He has a dark room, and a flash. Any patient that comes to him for a cough, he says lets take an X ray. Takes him to the room, all dark, a flash flashes, they come out, medinces given, and money taken for the X ray.

Next day the patient comes , an old X ray of a diseased lung of a male is shown to him, and tells him take medicines for a week and come back. When he comes back, again a X ray is taken, then a healthy lung X ray is shown to him, and the patient is happy , that in under a 1000 bucks he has been cured of a big malady.

This doc, has lung Xrays, of males females, kids , etc. Once it so happened that by mistake, when the patient opened the X ray, the kid’s small lung xray was in it. When asked of the doc, the doc realized that he had put in the wrong xray, but smart chap, said, Oh see this is the problem, the disease has shrunk your lungs to that of a child.

Medicines given, next week again X ray taken, and this time the right adult healthy lung shown , the patient happy that the Doc has enlarged his Lungs so fast and so cheaply.

Things hidden in my brains from many years, they come out when some new current incident jogs the memory, and these things fall out.

I have been fortunate, I have most doctors who are good, and who provide good fodder for my blogs. God bless the doctors.

HAHA

KAMAL MAHTANI


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John on phone: What are you doing bro??

Tony: Just finished Dinner with wife... and now with Scotch...

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Which brand... Black Label or Red Label???

Tony :No no......
Now with "Scotch Brite" scrubbing the vessels .

 

Dear Lakshmikishore,

this is yr second visit to my blogs, and i thank u for it. Glad u liked it, as soon as i read the Times of india on monday, i knew, i had a great blog to write on.

HAHA

Regards

kamal

 

Dear Archana,

Thank u.
Regards

kamal

 

Dear Gita,

i agree with u, these things are shameful should not happen at all.But they keep happening. See people beleive in babas even today, they want quick money, so do doctors. Now what would a small time doctor do, he has no place in the city. So he goes to the villages and uses his guile to make money. The doctors in the big cities , they also do the same, but we have to accept it as a part of life.

let me give u my example.

a few years back, one eye was hurting me, and getting red and painful. A doc told me u have TB of the eye. Test costed me 2000 , took 3 days and proved negative.
Another doc, said , take these 20 bucks drops, and i was fine. The reason he said, is u sit in front of the computer monitor, u blink less, so the eyes get dry, and hence red and painful.
Every half an hour just move away for 5 mins, and then come and sit, that will give eyes rest, and put these drops at night when u sleep, and u will never have this problem again.

And since then i am fine.

Now we blame this village doctor, but what about the city ones, eh !

So i take it with a pinch of salt, try and find some humor in the situation, and write a blog, not that i agree with the doctors, but i want to make u all laugh.

Regards

kamal

 

Dear Vani,

thanks to whats app, i am flooded with jokes, so choose some veg jokes for indus, and keep them in a folder on the desktop, HAHA.
people are innovative, they will make money. its just that we have to be careful that we aer not made fools of.

Regards

kamal