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about my six year old daughter

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by april1981, Dec 23, 2011.

  1. eandian

    eandian IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear OP,
    Try to ask her WHEN she started doing this. Then you can try to guess what happenned in her life around that time. If you can find out WHAT / WHO triggered this habit, you can find out ways to help her stop this.

    I do not want to scare you. But the world is becoming more and more perverted. It is possible that our children are at risk of getting abused / influenced by people around them - classmates, cousins, neighbours, relatives etc etc.

    So if this issue does not stop, you try and find out if anyone around her taught her this or is abusing her. I once saw on TV that those who abuse kids tell a lot of lies to those kids in a way that their names do not get revealed.


    So you might have to evesdrop on her conversations with her friends to see if anyone of them is perverted and think and ask the right questions in a calm way to get the answers from your daughter.

    Again not meant to scare you. But we have to be careful in this world. As much as possible, try to keep this between you and your daughter.
     
  2. orion80

    orion80 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear April,

    Please dont scare her or punish her so harshly. Given her age, she might be doing it more out of ignorance rather than intentionally. If you scare or punish her, she might stop opening up to you. I would suggest you discuss with your husband but you talk about it to her. This is one situation in which mom-daughter bond plays an imp role.

    As you have already told her about good touch and bad touch, tell her this is one of inappropirate ways of touching herself and she should stop doing this. Dont lose your temper and if she keeps repeating it, remind her multiple times, just like the way you get rid of a bad habit. Be patient and she will soon grow out of it.
     
  3. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    April,

    Kids learn from their mistakes. some listen to advice, warnings others learn from experience. maybe your daughter is one such kiddo. there are kids who do not touch a burning candle if you tell them, while there are others who rebel against and touch.what happens is once they feel the heat,the sting, they will be wary lifelong..after all that is how all of us learn right.

    do not say she has no control over her mind yaar. she is too small that. impulsive and impishness is their right at this age. it is part of growing up. a climber tries to climb on to anything it feels supportive,do we leave it as it, because it has a mind of its own, we try to bring in a good support system either as a stick, or a woven mesh to allow for its growing..sameway do train her interests..(i am sure you know about it better as her mom)

    i wish you just don't hide things with the husband. maybe, i guess maybe there was a trigger somewhere, without which she could not have had a relapse.

    talk to her. tell her that she will get infections if she touches there. do not be harsh on her. i feel lot of your helplessness in this. but maybe you should tell your husband, that you saw your dd do it once last month and she stopped after that. it is better to be on the same page as parents, though we have different ideas on the parenting.

    you can always have this mom-daughter secret, episodes, where she can come and tell you if she feels/urges to do it. and you tell her that we can both sit and work out against doing it. tell her that you are a friend, and want to help her overcome the habit. that she needs to share the secrets with you.

    and remember sometimes child sexual abuse, need not be actual touching..there are perverts who are into just watching..i hope you get the trend of the thought process.so teach her .

    Make her wear panties and bloomer on top of the panties..and slip for the shirt. this way it becomes a little more tough...and for info,it is always better to make girl babies wear bloomers on top of panties..(I remember this advice when i first put my daughter in kg from a neighbour aunty who was a retired school teacher..)this was 13 years ago...
     
  4. april1981

    april1981 Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks everyone for your advice... its been a while and she ahs not resoted to this behaviour. not in front of me. and i am hoping that she has not done it secretly as well. i will try to follow all the advice mentioned by feelow ladies.
     
  5. sweetnilla

    sweetnilla Senior IL'ite

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    Hi april,

    When I was doing my residency rotation in pediatrics I had a pt who came to our clinic with the same issue. I remember the daughter was 7 . The pediatrician told them to make sure she was clean there and told her it was normal.

    The take -home point is:

    The child just experiences comfort by rubbing his/her genitals. IT is not associated with sexual thoughts or adult like . I have noticed my daughter do the same occasionally. I just instruct her to wash her hands as I normally do after she goes potty. I was also worried until I heard this conversation in my clinical rotation . Now it happens rarely and if it does I gently say" You will get germs da. Take your hands out and go wash up". Please dont punish her or worry too much.

    Please check out this link .

    Masturbation: Your Child: University of Michigan Health System
     

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