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about my six year old daughter

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by april1981, Dec 23, 2011.

  1. april1981

    april1981 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi
    I have a daughter who is six years old. she has strange habit of lying upside down and fondling her genitals. she started this habit before 2 years. she does this only when she is feeling bored. we scolded her. tried to explain it in a loving manner. now after a gap of 1 year i saw her doing it again. i scolded her and then explained it to her in a loving manner. what other steps can I take to prevent this. pls help
    thsnks
     
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  2. arnavi

    arnavi New IL'ite

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    Hi - I undertand your concern .... I think u shud keep her as much occupied as possible so she does not get a chance to do it.... also keep her surrounded by people and her friends so even if she has the urge she will not do it due to the fear of embarrasement. Even at night dont let her sleep alone... and u sleep after she sleeps .... ask her why is she doing that ... some kids do as they are insecured or do it for attention...does she have problems in school or with teachers??
     
  3. aparnag

    aparnag Platinum IL'ite

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    Hai i understand your concern.. Just check for the cleanliness of the private are. some kids tend to do it when they have a slight itching sensation in that area... Also take her to a pediatrician.
     
  4. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

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    April, Has your daughter seen anything intimate b/n you and your hubby or other adults. She might probably be trying to emulate something she saw or heard and get some joy out of it.She maybe experimenting with a scene she saw .I think that might be the case. Be careful what you do in front of her.Also try to talk to her and involve her in something productive. Like saying a prayer before bed or reading a story.Keep an eye, such things shud begin in kids at a certain age and not before.Good Luck.
     
  5. april1981

    april1981 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi all
    @ choclate--I don't think she has seen anything intimate. this is because we hardly get intimate.she used to do this on the sofa. now we have gotten rid of the sofa since the sofa had become pld. I have also advised her agaisnt sitting on the ground while watching TV. I tell her to sit on the chair so that she wil not have nay oppurtunity to indulge in this behavior. she knows what she is doing is wrong. but she cannot stop herself. she is pleasuring herself. I am going nuts thinking abiut it because she is too young and she does not know what she is doing. I feel that becuse of this she qwill become mature very fast. How can I explain it to her so that she completely foregsts about it. I thought that she hasd forgotten about it. once my husband heated a steel spoon and kept in the back of her hand to discourage her from this behaviour. she did not do it for along time but before a few weeks she did it agains. Then again before a week.should I take her to a counseelor or ask her pediatrician about it. this is so personal that I don't want to talsk about it to an outsider. pls suggest some methods so that she forgets this behavoir once and for all.
    thanks
     
  6. april1981

    april1981 Gold IL'ite

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    @arnavi--I asked her and she told me she does not ahve any problems with anyone. It is not possible for me to keep an eye on her 24/7. she yearns for attention. I understand that but she is 6 now and she has to learn ways to keep herslef occupied.
    @aparnag--her private parts are clean. she does tell me that it itches but it is ocassional. even we get an itching in our private arts soemtimes due to panties. So I don't thinsk that is the reason.
     
  7. uma16

    uma16 Senior IL'ite

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    i don't feel its right to hurt the kid to get off her habit...it kind of sounds cruel to me....u better check with the paediatrician or counsellor...it should be a hygiene issue(adults know to deal itching issues but kids dont) or must be boredom....
     
  8. GodIsOne

    GodIsOne Gold IL'ite

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    Hello,

    I agree with Uma16. It is absolutely not okay to do that to a six year old. You might scar her mind and heart forever. The worst thing is that she might still not have understood on why she was punished. She is after all 6 and to her it might be just like digging her nose.

    She will grow out of it. It is just a phase. Think about all those annoying little habits she would have had...for ex: kids love to play with their spit...make bubbles etc which is icky for us but not for them...Dint she grow out of it? It is only like that.

    If you still insist that there is some underlying issue then please take her to her pediatrician. She might refer you to a counsellor. Please do not punish her anymore.
     
  9. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    April good to see you back.

    Your dd is six years. it is said that fondling themselves as toddlers is getting in touch with their bodies as they do their eyes, nose and other parts. there is no sexual awareness at that age.

    but at six, it is a different story. it may or may not be a awareness, but it is wrong to scare her for life.

    knowing you through other threads, though you have not been intimate, i strongly have a inkling could it be she has seen something on the pc/laptop..you know, internet, throws up pictures and sites even popup windows of the same nature, if you had googled on **** or sex..and i hope you don't mind my asking you to double check on the side screens, pop up windows, if you do allow your child to play games on the net or on the pc.

    AT the same time, it is better you talk to her about her body, It is her vagina she is touching, touching it too much will lead to infection which could be very painful. teach her the good and bad touch. also tell her that you find her touching herself, and you would like to know how does she feel..be frank, does she feel good or is she doing because of itching. you would want to help her..in simple language that she can understand.

    you also need to teach her to respect her body. and do NOT encourage her to be alone with anybody if she is prone to doing it even without realising, as we are leaving her vulnerable to abuse..keep her engaged, if you feel she is doing it because she is bored.

    I also would emphasize, do not observe her every second. tell her that you love her, and would not want to always scold her for doing this, which you were doing and are feeling bad. you know that she will stop doing that on her own, as she understands that she is a big girl now.

    sometimes, observe, but do not reprimand, her if she is trying to get your attention by irritating you, she may stop if you ignore but do keep watch..

    Do not punish her for this. I also hope it is a phase and she will get out of it..
     
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  10. april1981

    april1981 Gold IL'ite

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    thanks all for youre replies..
    @shanvy even I hope she grows out of it. we haev already taught her about good touch and badd touch. I feel that she does it out of boredom. when I asked her why she does it she tells me that it is ahabit. I feel that she has given the above answer because she herself does not know the answer. she is very impulsive by nature. there are mnay things that she is wrong but she goes ahead and does it because she has no control over her mind. I did not tell my husband about the recent wo isntancs because I fear he might do something drastic. It is between me and her. she has promised me she will never do it agains. I am keeping my fingers crossed.
    thanks
     

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