A Women's obstacle to progress is A Women !!

I choose this topic because we have always talked about the male dominance as the strong reason that suppress the growth of women both socially and individually. From my personal experience or from the stories of people around me made me view it from the other angle .

In my childhood, we had a ‘MoralScience’ class in which the nun(studied in a missionary convent) teaches us good manners ,morals etc. At the age of 8, in one of such classes, I heard a story of ‘Adam & Eve’ in which the God created a beautiful place with different species, plants and landscapes and into that introduced first Man and Women too. He asked them to enjoy everything in his creation but not to eat fruits from one particular plant. One fine day Satan in the form of snake comes to ‘Eve’ “ why did the Lord refrain u from eating fruits from that tree, Is itso that it has special powers which he doesn't want u to enjoy?” The Eve forces the Adam to get her the fruit from the abandoned tree. Once they have the fruit they were punished by the God for not obeying his orders and were hence distanced from him since then.
Its not only this story, later when I learnt epics where the “ Women” is pictured as the main character and as the reason for destruction makes me wonder why so?? In Ramayana it was Sita for her greed to have the ‘Golden Deer’ and in Mahabharata it was Draupadi who was mistook as been laughed at Duryodhana in ‘Maya sabha’.

As I grew up I did read the multi-facet women and her role in formation of dynasties not just Indian but of British, Egypt, Roman etc. To discuss reasons or what brought the transformation in the status of women psychologically or socially needs a very big space to discuss, as the decline in the status of women from the point of ruling kingdoms to struggling for identity was not restricted to any particular region or country its all over both at developed ,developing and underdeveloped nations.

We r no longer in the age where the Husband or Man is the sole-bread winner of the family,and the women is rescrited just to kitchen and attend the needs of family. Women has risen at par and infact reigning much higher corporate sectors. They manage and work extra than men does. She is managing the responsibilities both at family and work place with great care and respect. There was age when many people went on rallies to propagate women education and women rights.Now with equal education rights and financial independence, there rose another group of people who started slogans that with equal financial rights and education has increased social issues like pre-marital relationship, divorces etc. They r very true too.
With the financial independence and education women has gone independent to stop the atrocities in a bad relationship, she has gained that confidence to lead her life in a decent way rather than get dependent on her aged parents or end up in some derogatory profession to support her living and much worse be a silent recipient of domestic violence and end up her life. Women did raise to the higher status of various fields but their number is small. These r the ones who had braved all the social, cultural odds and career oriented ones who had sacrificed their regular family lives we lead. From the little picture I have, either these high positioned women r mostly single or divorcees or from high class socities,a few fortunate ones who have an encouraging spouse and in-laws who help with other family responsibilities.
Now comes the point, where do I prove my statement – “Women r Women’s own obstacles to Progress”. I will mention them point wise :

1 It applies to the major chunk of middle and lower middle class section , where though the girl child is educated at par with the male siblings of the family. ‘Marriageable Age’ becomes the first hurdle, the parents either restrict the girl to perceive to a certain degree or marry her off once they come across a good match which the parents feel is equally best thing for their daughter(s) . Even if the husband and inlaws r co-operative to allow the lady to perceive with her further studies and encourages her to work,then the work needs to be something like 9am-6pm kinds. They have very less chances to work an White Collared jobs which needs long working hrs. In this point I put myself as an example. I always wanted to be an ‘Charted Accountant’ like my father. My parents were enterprising but my grandparents(we were bought up in a joint family) weren’t, they had always blamed my parents from the beginning for putting us in a English medium convents and sent to Christian schools rather than state boards which were less expensive and regional and not marrying them even at the age of 21 etc. And due to some financial prob at home I had to opt for different sub all together, I was married at the age of 25 and my husband work demands relocation after every 3yrs so I have no other option other than working as a Teacher or Lecturer depending upon the chances I get in the new places after every 3yrs.
2. Another example: a maid-servant who helps me with daily chores has 2 girl child, both the children or just born with a gap of 1yr. her husband workers with a mason which hardly fetches him 5000/- per month and she says she goes on for another child till they r blessed with a “boy”. I asked her wht if she delivers 2 more girls, then she says “My ‘saas’ will get another wife for her husband”. Then I asked he wht would she do with her husband leaving her with 2-4 girl child to raise, she says if her fate is such she would not hesitate being a naukar to her own family. Though her answer did not shock me as some parts of Northern India has such custom both at higher and lower class society. After much of my nagging she started sending her elder daughter (5yr) to a Govt school for which she receives monetary benefits under girl child edu .scheme. This thinking with lower or un-educated section of people is understood.
3. In one of our social functions few ladies who were due to delivery in March and April were assembled for “BabyShower”. After small games like ‘Girl/Boy name list’ and some funny stuff the ladies were asked wht they guess it is going to be 'a Girl child or a Boy'. All the first timers had wished it would be a “boy first” and they say they don’t mind giving a second chance for a girl child, but first they want a “boy child”. I was shocked and so did few others in the party with the mind set of ladies with good professional and educational background. I didn't see much psyche difference between my maid-servant and educated ladies at the neighbor hood.
4. Another story of a lady, in the party who is expecting her 2nd child, the first was a girl, says she doesn’t mind if it’s a girl again but my mother-in-law says that she has to take another chance to have a boy if this time its a girl again. She says I only hope she doesn’t influence my husband to go for a third child for the sake of a boy. The lady’s MIL claims herself as an social worker working for an NGO. Wht good is it being a social worker if u don’t follow it for urself.
5. Women though they r well educated and have capacity to hold higher positions in their respective fields r still wrapped in the social customs, family responsibilities and male dominant work atmosphere, atrocities at work places etc. The companies and services though provide with maternity leaves should also provide facilities like day-care centers so that their women staff can get the little ones and leave them and take them along once they working hrs r complete. These day-care centre can be employed with young girls or ladies who r less educated or widows or physically impaired people. I have read about an entrepreneur who had begun an courier service in Mumbai with hearing impaired people. The main requirement which the present women need is encouragement and help with her family responsibilities. Expecting this sort of help from aged parents an in-laws is not feasible with every section of women. And putting them in day-care centers away from workplace becomes expensive and torturing psychologically too.
6. Last but not the least the women who adores the Mother-in-Law post should shun differentiating between their own daughters and daughter-in-laws and if they cant be soft on them don’t torture them with greed for dowry , gender preferences for off-springs, customs etc.

I wrap up wishing that its not for the need of women rights, women reservation bill or equal social status with men, women needs to fight for. Women had long ago proved her guts and capacities.Its between us were we need to respect and identify the capabilities of each other. Wishing all of us and young girls a much brighter women hood ahead.

 

i tried attaching the 2nd Annual International Women's Day contest poster but failed .
Can the moderators help me pls!!
thank you!
sudha

 

Thank you, omsrisai and malar !
I always see so many examples in day-to-day life where women is women's hurdle to progress. Every lady in one stage of her life must have experienced it,still we forget it and talk of other issues.
Women needs to change her mindset before trying to fight for male-dominance or social rights.
bye!
sudha