A very disturbed marital relationship potentially heading for divorce

As a matter of fact it does. That is the general spirit of law. Infact even EMA of wife does. An adulterous wife is not entitled to any alimony. Jail for abusive husband, and alimony for abusive wife - is that what you are proposing?


Ofcourse videotaping abuse would work both ways. Women generally don't "need" it, because in Indian law there "statement" is considered prima-facie evidence, enough to put husband behind bars. The only recourse for husband is to shatter the statement during cross-examination in court. With videotaped abuse, ofcourse he is all set to spend three years in jail.

 

Should a wife be greatful to her super busy hubby if he spends time with his wife and family??

There would be fewer divorces if relatives and friends stopped interfering in a couples life trying to put the other spouse down.Its natural to side with ones friends and relatives but creating problems is a no-no.
You mean to say that your intelligent cousin was unable to handle the situation on his own?
Maybe the wife resented the interference as the rift was widened by well-meaning relatives that is you and your sis.
Did the couple try counselling?
In all this mess a poor child will grow with a single parent.
PS Maybe the super doc will not have to pay alimony after all, just foot the bill for the kid.

 

Thanks for the info, no wonder the wife is branded as abusive and the DH keeps quiet , video tapes her and has witnesses to escape alimony!!
The dreaded 498A is well known but this is an eye-opener for many!
Thanks once again.

 

Dear Flowerlady what is 498A ?

 

My theory physician husbands is US marry rich non physician spouse from India, wife will not put up with uninvolved spouse resulting in conflicts. If OP is seriously concerned with his cousin he should have suggested couples counseling instead him, his sister and the whole family gangs up to video and audio recording to get rid of his spouse. He does not want to divorce in US to avoid alimony and division of assets. Let the courts decide in US as how to deal with financial aspects, he is quiet but agreed to scheme to avoid alimony, I wonder how he slept with her and had a child if she was unbearable. He is not stupid or naive, since he is physician in US his can parents can set him easily with another bride. Best way is to divorce by mutual agreement as at the end of the day this child will eventually need both parents as examples even if they are divorced instead of resenting one of the parents for the rest of his life. In US court physician spouse not paying alimony will not look pretty for the judge. He was probably on H1 visa finished his residency or a waiver job now ready to make 3-5 times more and want to get rid of his spouse.

 

its actually little confusing. so he wants to return India and settle here now? Professional accomplishment is nothing to do with one's inability in handling personal life. IMO, better he goes for mutual divorce and start new life again. Collecting evidences is a smart thing actually. I do know why should it be called as framing? Better child grows with father if mother is a violent person.

 

FL

the other forum that I mentioned about.....they are suggesting men (who are on the verge of divorce) to gather audio n video evidence..so that the husband can gain custody over the kid by showing abusive nature of the wife(mother) ....and infact they are suggesting in cases where the husband is abused, he doesnt have to pay alimony except for child support...and that too if he can gain cusstody of the kid...he is done with this lady forever....(thats the plan!!!)

By the way yees....they are telling to provoke the wife and record the video/audio....yes provoking her by sarcasm etc...specially when teh wife is disciplining kids...when she raises her voice over kid...or when she insists the kid to do something etc...they are telling the guy to take such instances when he thinks she was mean and use that as evidence.

 

OP

your cousine's wife cannot come to u.s. if her h4 is expired. In fact in my opinion no educated girl should marry to h1 guys if she has to stay on h4. Living on H4 itself is big big punishment. I have seen many many educated indian girls have to stay home, completely dependant on their miser husbands who donot provide basic necessities to wife but spend lavishly on parents, grown up siblings.....

I have seen many miser husbands donot want to send their hyperactive 3 yr or 4 year old kids to nursery school because it cost couple of hundred dollors but send thousands of dollars to grown up siblings, parents for their luxuries. Wife is expected to take care of hyperactive kids 24 hours 365 days without any rest.

H4 wife is unpaid slave who should be always submissive, never complain about anything, live lonely life like jail.....girls should be wiser and always prefer to stay financially independant and refuse abuse or controlling from dh, in laws

Only very very few husbands are loving, caring, supportive to their wife who voluntarily help in household chores, raising kids.....

 

OP

so did your cousin anytime tell his wife that he wants to separate if she doesnt change her ways??? I am just trying to think totally that yes, she is abusive and mentally insane......so what was her response??

You are calling her names like stupid etc...why are you sooo involved in someone elses married life??? that too a cousin? doesnt matter how close he is...and why did he consult you or your sister (he being a doc) instead of consulting a therapist or counsellor? seems like he was ready for divorcing her but was trying to wait for the right time isnt it???

i agree that if she was really that abusive n ungreatful to her devoted husband, she should be punished i.e served divorce....but my question is....is your friend ready to raise a 2 yr old all by himself? with his parents?? because being a woman you know....not everyone will be readyd to raise someone elses kid....that too Exs kid...(incase if your cousin gets remarried...just for the sake of raising his kid)....it is injustice to another woman also...so what is the future of this 2 yr old is my question!!!

why didnt you suggest marriage counselling? instead of or along with taping the abuse?? and by the way how long is your cousin married???