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A very disturbed marital relationship potentially heading for divorce

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by VSharma007, Jan 10, 2012.

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  1. VSharma007

    VSharma007 New IL'ite

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    Hello:

    Here’s the situation. My cousin lives in Dallas, TX on a valid H-1B visa. He is married (did it in India) and has a 2 year old son. However, the couple has had a very strained relationship for quite some time. His wife (she has the H-4 or dependent visa) is extremely aggressive and very quarrelsome. She also had an affair for a few months. My cousin had to suffer personal and professional losses due to all this for the last few years. He is fed up and is very disturbed right now. Needless to mention, we all are very worried about him.

    My cousin’s wife is in India right now and my cousin is also planning to go to India to visit his family very soon. However, he doesn’t think this relationship will last. In fact, his wife has threatened to divorce him multiple times.

    I have a few questions:

    -- My cousin’s H-1B visa is up for renewal. Is there a way he can prevent his wife from going to the US? (her visa has also expired). He has all her papers, etc.

    -- Also, can his wife still file a divorce case against him in a US court if she is in India and he is in the US? He only intends to divorce her in India, not the US. Is this possible?

    -- If his wife can file a case for divorce in the US, how does the US court decide on the property/assets? Is it during the same divorce case?

    -- Finally, my cousin has lots of evidence (audio/video tapes, etc.) where his wife literally fought with him, even punched or kicked him (I’ve been witness to this once and he was still very quiet as usual) and later confessed it to him and her family. Would audio tapes also count as an evidence? The thing is : My cousin is absolutely willing to support his son (financially or otherwise; he even wants to raise him) but does not want to give a dime to his wife after such a horrible marriage. Is this possible?

    Any guidance you can provide would be greatly appreciated.

    Also, let us know if there are any online or other legal resources he/I can refer to in this extremely troublesome situation.

    Thanks so much.
     
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  2. billybob

    billybob Gold IL'ite

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    something does not seem to right if only intends to divorce in India not USA, is this for alimony reasons, what ever the reason she is the mother of his child if she secure financially his son will be secure. too many explanations forb divorce, affair and physical abuse sounds fishy
     
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  3. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    one thing that doesnt seem rightto me is...how did your cousin happen to record the audio and video when he was being abused?? I did read on some other forums where men were giving each other suggestions on how to prove abuse or how to ensure wife doesnt get alimony and take a diff. route to make the court beleive the guys story etc...(I wonder why women never do this recording thing...:(

    Mostly seems like issue related to alimony payment etc...however as per what I know...

    For his wife to apply for H4 visa extension, she needs her husbands H1 papers..(the renewed ones..) so if he doesnt send those to her...she cant file extension or cant come to US

    She cant file divorce in US, being in India....however if she files divorce case in India, your cousin may end up running around Indian courts for custody of his kids and alimony payments....(Indian courts take long time to settle divorce cases than US courts)

    If she files divorce in US, the case depends on how long your cousin is married, and her employment status, kids and maintenance.

    Its not your cousin who will decide on whether he wants to give a penny to hsi wife or not....he will end up paying child support n alimony if court orders so...and not paying it may land him in jail.


    Last but not least...even before you talking about divorce etc...have you asked your cousin...what are her reasons for behaving this way??? and why did your cousin have a kidw ith such a horrible woman?? why the decision of divorce now instead of earlier or later? did they try counselling or therapy? dont get me wrong..but i do see any POTENTIAL in divorce......even before he says he quits, he has to work around things for the sake of the kid. this is not a childs play...time to show patience and understand the underlying behaviour of the wife and get therapy n medical attention if needed and fix the issue.
     
  4. fencesitter

    fencesitter Platinum IL'ite

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    are all these recent EMA stories related to each other??
     
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  5. anonymou

    anonymou Silver IL'ite

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    She can decide to contest a divorce case in US from India. She can be represented by attorney. It is a different(and illegal) matter, that your cousin decides not to let her know of proceedings here and get the order ex-parte in US. Actually, even for ex-parte, your cousin will have to give affidavit that she has been notified and she purposefully decided to ignore the proceedings. Again, being in India, employing attorney may be difficult financially for her.

    First, the possibility part: the usual practice followed by both Indian and US courts when more than one court can claim territorial jurisdiction over a matter is, whichever court is first approached by any of litigants assumes its jurisdiction. It means that if the husband has filed a case in India, US court will normally reject to intervene and normally will not decide on the case. Note, I say normally, as in certain cases, other rules like citizenship may take precedence.

    The case will be decided on basis of length of marriage, kids, circumstances of divorce and quite importantly the state in US. I am not sure of Texas laws. The law would generally give better deal to the spouse who has suffered abuse.

    Under Indian IT act, all evidence on digital media is admissible till the original source where it was created is preserved. Did the violence happen in US or India? If in US, your cousin had the option of calling police for help. That would have meant, in many states, that he can get divorce easily without paying alimony.

    Also, I would suggest your cousin settles this amicably with his wife for MCD with alimony/child support/custody issues mutually agreed. In contested cases the usual approach(which her lawyer will definitely suggest her) is, that in response to divorce notice, the wife will file criminal cases in India alleging harrasment, and then bargain in above issues.
     
  6. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi OP,
    The audio-video tapes have done your friend in. It clearly means that the fights were set-up , the wife provoked to put up a fight. In all this scripted mess the hubby calls his dear friend as a witness !
    All this helps in strengthening their case as they would rather die than give alimony.
    The hubby behaves like a saint , wears a beatific smile while the wife raves and rants.
    What if dear wife gives the custody of the child to the loving father? Why is it assumed that the wife will take care of the child and the father will be let off by sending a monthly cheque??
    Think about it.
    PS -Generally women play fair and dont set a stage, provoke hubby and make tapes.
     
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  7. bhuvnidhi

    bhuvnidhi IL Hall of Fame

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    Exactly.For all you know your cousin might end up raising the kid, if the court decides that the son cannot live with such an abusive mother/female(obviously based on the videos and audios your cousin is going to produce).

    If he is such a saint , how is he even thinking of stopping her from coming to US??
     
  8. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    heyyy I guess OP never said his cousin is not willing to raise his son....he is ready to raise his son by himself...thats not an issue...he is talking bout not paying a penny as alimony!!! (surely there is bitterness but what I didnt understand is the guy waited this long???? he had so many complaints from EMA to abuse and still had a babyw ith her?? thats my concern.....moreover is this the right time to think about divorce?? when the kid is just 2 yrs old....he needs his mom more than the dad....and dad says mom is abusive...(seems like her going to India and her H4 expiring has given him good ideas on how to keep her out of USA where laws are stringent and justice is served quickly on matters such as divorce n alimony/child support....)...

    but if she really is that abusive...why did he let her take the kid with her??why not tell her to enjoy her vacation and he will try to get the experience of raising the baby as a single parent.....its not safe for a baby to be with a abusive person...specially when divorce proceedings are going on.
     
  9. anonymou

    anonymou Silver IL'ite

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    I disagree with this. Your cousin did a good job by recording it and it will be appreciated in right context in court. Court very well understands that when one party is recording a scene or conversation, it has clear advantage. But the fact is that physical abuse is unacceptable in any situation and provocation. Recently, a girl came up with a video tape to show how her father beat her with belt. Her effort and bravery were appreciated, and the evidence would have been admissible in court had it not been for statute of limitation of five years(the tape was more than 5 years old when she decided to publish it). Provoking to deliberately get a confession on telephone recording is a standard practice in some places. Some states in US however, do not accept recorded telephone conversation as evidence, unless the other party was warned about recording. It is admissible in Indian law, though.

    We are guessing about custody issues, without knowing which way the fight is(do they both want custody, or only mother, or nobody). Unless, the father raises the issue, the court is not going to assume that the mother is unsafe for child (that is my opinion, I do not know any precedence).
     
  10. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    However abusive the wife maybe does it automatically exempt the H from giving alimony?
    Thanks for giving ideas of videotaping physical and verbal abuse and having a friend as a witness to prove it.May work both ways. :bowdown
     
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